posted October 31, 2015 04:42 PM            

Good day to you all. It has been a while since I posted in here since I've been so busy with college and stuff. I still lurk here though (oops, that's creepy )

But anyway, I have been having troubles with myself lately and I just do not know what to do. I don't need a reading for this, I just need pure and simple advice.

What can I do to completely remove an unwanted part of myself?

For the past few months, I have been trying my best to change my negative side. God, I even gave her a name, Moira. She's insecure, uses sexuality to attract attention, plays around with men's feelings, has daddy issues, wants power over the whole male population (eh, Venus-Pluto square, I'm thinking). Just when I thought I've gotten rid of her, she comes back.

Days ago, I met up with an old friend and flirted with him constantly "for fun". Then he started talking about feelings and it made me wanna run. Also, I have been talking to other male friends who have been over-complimenting me on my sexiness and it has been getting to my head.

I really do not want this part of me. I want to change for the better, but I just don't know how to do it. I have tried pretending to be sexually innocent, but it doesn't work. I'm embarrassed about my sexuality for some reason. I feel dirty when it is expressed, but when it's not, I feel dull and ordinary.

posted October 31, 2015 05:51 PM            

Good so see you here! I'm glad you're enjoying college

My advice - love yourself more.

You can't really get rid of your 'negative side' - they are just your insecurities and we try to mask out insecurities by different ways - some people act out (they believe that if they'll be mean from the get go then it saves them from getting hurt by others) - all the insecurities are really just one insecurity - feeling that you're not lovable enough.

That's why you act to get the attention etc - you want to feel lovable.

If you love yourself more you won't feel the need to get validation from your surroundings.

One exercise you can do is write in your journal:
If I really loved myself I....
Complete that sentence a few times

Another good sentence is - The way I can love myself more is....

posted October 31, 2015 05:57 PM            

Set boundaries for yourself, never tell yourself No or try to make yourself stop that will only feed the fire.
your only trying to play I don't think your doing it intending to hurt the men you play with you are only having fun expressing your shadow side.
But set boundaries by giving yourself limits something like, never lead them into thinking you are going to give more than you are willing to give and be up front with them in the beginning so you don't lead them down the wrong path kind of thing.

posted October 31, 2015 06:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
[i]What can I do to completely remove an unwanted part of myself?...

Days ago, I met up with an old friend and flirted with him constantly "for fun"... [I]

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Of COURSE you want this side of you! It's fresh, and it's healthy and Good to feel sexy, and take breaks from studying. You're "supposed" to!! {{ }}

Scorpio Time, Embrace your sassy. Sexy is really Good. You'll want that in a marriage some day? perhaps. Go Practice?! You'll feel more-Whole if you don't fight your safe natural sexy urges.

Take Care!... (and have Fun!!)

posted October 31, 2015 07:14 PM            

Embrace your sexual side. You are allowed to flirt and feel beautiful. It is an energetic exchange, everything is. If people are giving you attention it is because they want to, and you probably are giving them something too even if you don't realize it.

posted October 31, 2015 09:16 PM            

I remember you did an angel message reading for me before and it said the exact same thing. I thought I already loved myself enough, but I guess not. I'll definitely try out the journal since I love writing.

vesta

They always end up thinking I'm serious.

mirage29
missblyss

So it's okay to be like this?

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I've just been brought up to think that flirting and being sexy is wrong (conservative family, ugh). Maybe you guys are right. I'll try to embrace it a little more and just have fun.

posted November 04, 2015 09:42 AM            

I hope I don't sound harsh here but in all honesty.. I think you are beating yourself up for no reason here.. NOTHING WRONG BEING HUMAN LIKE. For example, desiring attention, affection, etc. And your assumption that you must come across as someone who is sexually innocent all the time is social construct. It's okay to just let it be sometimes.

Now, in case you are worried about your approach hurting the guy's feelings...
Should he feel hurt, that's his own fault!
No man should NEVER EVER pour out his guts and feelings to a woman he has never dated nor cry over being rejected by a woman he has never dated. He should understand that his life is not like the Great Gatsby movie or any other similar movies.

posted November 04, 2015 09:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Venusincap89:
...??
Did you flirt with him or with anybody against their will..??
You flirted with him because he flirted back, no? I thought flirting was a form of exchange?? As in.. both parties consented to such form of communications??

I hope I don't sound harsh here but in all honesty.. I think you are beating yourself up for no reason here.. NOTHING WRONG BEING HUMAN LIKE. For example, desiring attention, affection, etc. And your assumption that you must come across as someone who is sexually innocent all the time is social construct. It's okay to just let it be sometimes.

Now, in case you are worried about your approach hurting the guy's feelings...
Should he feel hurt, that's his own fault!
No man should NEVER EVER pour out his guts and feelings to a woman he has never dated nor cry over being rejected by a woman he has never dated. He should understand that his life is not like the Great Gatsby movie or any other similar movies.

In sum, it wasn't only you that flirted, BOTH of you flirted. Given that such exchange began with unspoken agreements, you are entitled to stop flirting at your will. If he feels rejected, TOO BAD. Let him work with his ego issues, or wearing his heart on the sleeves issues.
If you were flirting with an Ex or if you dated a guy for like 6 months "for fun", then it's a different story, but if that's not the case... I really don't see anything wrong here

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I flirted with him and he flirted back, so like I thought he was just having fun, too. I'm kinda worried I hurt him more than I actually did because he hasn't replied to me at all when I told him we needed to talk.