posted January 18, 2016 10:53 AM            

Here's the situation. My boyfriend and I had an argument that escalated into me crying and him making remarks about my bad memory the next morning.

The argument was about me forgetting to do something he asked me to do and him blowing it out of proportion even after I apologized like three times or more. He explained several situations where it would not be acceptable to just say "I forgot." Of course, I wouldn't let myself forget something like my job or a deadline, but small things? I will forget those and a lot of what I'm forgetting are small things he wants me to do. All he needs to do is remind me once and I'll do it, but instead he gets upset if I forget to do something even one time.

I'm upset for two reasons:
-My boyfriend apparently thinks that "stop crying" is good advice for a person that's crying. I told him it's not and he got upset that I wouldn't stop tearing up. He tried to comfort me, but it didn't work because his attempts were mixed with how upset he was that I wasn't listening to his advice to "just stop crying."

-He criticized my bad memory like I can help it. He brought up the many incidences in which my bad memory would not be an excuse. However, he is not my boss. He is not my professor. He is my boyfriend and he's supposed to be my partner, not my superior.

I have tried being upfront and blunt with him about how I feel about these things. He just crawled in a hole and said how "awful" of a boyfriend he is. He made no effort to communicate with me about how to fix things.

I'm so confused. No matter what I say, he just keeps getting upset.

posted January 18, 2016 12:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by happyaskings:
Sounds like he's acting like a dick. You don't need a tarot deck for this, honey! When you are calm, explain to him what you had a problem with and then tell him he needs to treat you with kindness. Establish boundaries until he treats you better. If he's a good guy, he will think things over and work to make it better for next time.

He's being a big man-baby right now, let him pout in his hole, and when he's done with his little pity party let HIM make things right.

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I agree with you. The only reason I'm as upset as I am is his loving ways go out the window as soon as he's upset. He's usually a wonderful person, but he thinks I'm in the wrong. I will admit I'm not perfect with how I act, but I do take responsibility for my wrongs and try to make things right. He just sits there and complains that he's an awful boyfriend without even trying to make things better.