posted July 24, 2016 08:00 PM
I've been going through an extremely tough time trying to find my place in this world so far. Life hasn't always been this horrible, but I encounter setbacks and frustrations a lot of the time.
I'm a very successful student maintaing mostly As and Bs throughout grade school and most of college. I graduated High School with a 4.2. My GPA in college was a 3.75 until the last semester of my junior year when I started to drift away from school because of my own personal bad habits, family issues, depression, etc.My family isn't rich and compared to many families, we didn't have much when I was growing up although my mother made sure I had everything I needed. My father was in and out of prison my entire life. Both of my parents are very intelligent despite their financial shortcomings.
I resent my father and never really had a genuine, loving relationship with him although I pretended and create this illusion that we did when he was in prison. I didn't realize this until recently when he came home again after a 10 year sentence and I am now 22 years old. He is very cold, tyrannical, and controlling. My mother is the total opposite.
All of these factors have contributed to my low self image. I've missed out on countless opportunities because of depression and feeling hopeless.
Like I previously mentioned, I'm an excellent student and I even managed to enter the management world in retail through a few of the jobs I worked while trying to graduate from college so it hasn't been total hell. I always feel like I have it much harder than other people around me. I'm still living at home and that was the plan until I graduated until my father came home and destroyed that plan. Me and my father don't get along and I refuse to respect a man who hasn't really done anything for me or his family. My dad is a Sagittarius with Saturn square Sun and Mercury. Pluto is square his Sun and trine his moon so he's very anal and controlling. Of course I share similar traits but Astrology has made me more self-aware than ever and I've been working on trying to develop Saturn and Pluto's positive qualities.
Will I always encounter so many obstacles in achieving success?
Will I always have a hard time maintaing security?
Does my chart show a life plagued with hardship?
Sometimes I feel like all I need is a good paying job and my own space to keep organized and under a strict routine to be successful. Other times, I feel limited and trapped under Saturn's iron fist. Part of it is my fault (I'm horrible with saving money for example) so I'm not really blaming my parents. But I know they play a major role and I know a lot of my habits developed because of them. I just want a little input on my chart.
I'm currently going though a Uranus opposite Moon transit and Pluto will soon follow suite right after with a square. Then both Uranus and Pluto will move to my Venus and repeat the process until it passes my stellium I'm assuming.
Saturn is currently transiting my 7th.
Pluto is transiting my 9th, currently conjunct my Uranus and Neptune which probably explains my failure to graduate on time which has led me to another year in college.
I just want to graduate, find a decent playing job so I can support myself on my own, and maintain a decent living.
I don't want anything grand out of life. The simple things make me happy. I just don't want to be one of those people on public assistance or struggling every day to make ends meet. I just want to he comfortable.
I know Astrology doesn't tell all and we all have individual will, but there's something in my chart that can give some clues on the type of future I'm looking at.
I just want to be my definiton of great.
Free from family patterns and restrictions.
Free from financial burdens (besides student loans).
Lindaland
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posted July 24, 2016 08:00 PM
posted July 25, 2016 09:13 PM