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Author
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Topic: What can I do to make my bf less stressed?
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SunAscendant
Knowflake Posts: 2639
From: California
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted June 24, 2019 04:16 PM
  
My bf is Capricorn dominant and as such, he is the typical perfectionist Cappy who always pushes himself too hard and then stresses out soon after. What aspects in his chart can I harness the energy from to mitigate future stress for him? His retrograde Capricorn Mercury closely conjunct his Capricorn Saturn surely adds to his mental stress too unfortunately. http://imgur.com/a/BvhGpKj IP: Logged |
SDragon
Moderator Posts: 758
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 24, 2019 10:56 PM
I'm not seeing anything really unfortunately. I would have said something along the lines of trying to soothe his Moon in Leo, but if you try something with that, it brings along a Pluto sq. Moon which might not be the best thing to touch if he's already stressed. A lot of his aspects and energy are very individualistic and most likely he has learned since childhood to deal with stress by internalizing a lot. You may be able to expand on his North Node in Aquarius by helping him see the big picture of things, his contribution, that there's usually a timing for most things and some things can't be forced by sheer force of will - fruit for example, they need time to ripen and you can't force a fruit to ripen, you can only give it the proper environment and nutrients to help it along. Part of the South Node in Leo challenges is expecting things to happen just because they want them to happen, but they need to stop 'expecting' things to happen a certain way and they can then see that the way it's happening is exactly the way it needs to happen. He's also been going through his Saturn Return so that will stress out most people - in another year or two, I think he will be in a much better place to be able to see what he needs to change in his perception of the world. IP: Logged |
Springtimeflower
Knowflake Posts: 3506
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted June 26, 2019 07:53 PM
Along with what SDragon said, there are also two transits that are affecting your BF's natal Mercury in Cap, Saturn and Pluto transiting in Capricorn about 18 and 20 degrees right now, but he should see some relief early next year for Saturn and then for the Pluto transit, the end of 2020.Maybe a meditation class for the both of you--just a thought..something you can do together as a team or way of showing support. IP: Logged |
SunAscendant
Knowflake Posts: 2639
From: California
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted June 30, 2019 06:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SDragon:
I'm not seeing anything really unfortunately. I would have said something along the lines of trying to soothe his Moon in Leo, but if you try something with that, it brings along a Pluto sq. Moon which might not be the best thing to touch if he's already stressed. A lot of his aspects and energy are very individualistic and most likely he has learned since childhood to deal with stress by internalizing a lot. You may be able to expand on his North Node in Aquarius by helping him see the big picture of things, his contribution, that there's usually a timing for most things and some things can't be forced by sheer force of will - fruit for example, they need time to ripen and you can't force a fruit to ripen, you can only give it the proper environment and nutrients to help it along. Part of the South Node in Leo challenges is expecting things to happen just because they want them to happen, but they need to stop 'expecting' things to happen a certain way and they can then see that the way it's happening is exactly the way it needs to happen. He's also been going through his Saturn Return so that will stress out most people - in another year or two, I think he will be in a much better place to be able to see what he needs to change in his perception of the world.
Yes he internalizes things. He broke up with me on Friday because I apparently was too needy even though I was never the one to call or text first and I always asked him if he needed space and would give it to him if need be. He did not like asking for help and said it was weak if he did that, so as expected, he didn’t like when i tried to help or console him, so I would just sit there and listen and be a quiet pillar of strength for him, but yet he still said that the relationship stressed him out even though, again, I never ever pushed him to see me all the time and I always asked him how he was feeling and if he needed anything. He said he felt I always agreed with him and never disagreed. He said I bent over backwards for him. I guess he wants a mean b*tch even though if I was mean and difficult he’d still break up with me and cite a rude attitude as the problem. He’s difficult and accusatory and I’m so disappointed he couldn’t see how wonderful this relationship was and how it was the LEAST stressful thing in his life.
IP: Logged |
SunAscendant
Knowflake Posts: 2639
From: California
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted June 30, 2019 06:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SDragon:
I'm not seeing anything really unfortunately. I would have said something along the lines of trying to soothe his Moon in Leo, but if you try something with that, it brings along a Pluto sq. Moon which might not be the best thing to touch if he's already stressed. A lot of his aspects and energy are very individualistic and most likely he has learned since childhood to deal with stress by internalizing a lot. You may be able to expand on his North Node in Aquarius by helping him see the big picture of things, his contribution, that there's usually a timing for most things and some things can't be forced by sheer force of will - fruit for example, they need time to ripen and you can't force a fruit to ripen, you can only give it the proper environment and nutrients to help it along. Part of the South Node in Leo challenges is expecting things to happen just because they want them to happen, but they need to stop 'expecting' things to happen a certain way and they can then see that the way it's happening is exactly the way it needs to happen. He's also been going through his Saturn Return so that will stress out most people - in another year or two, I think he will be in a much better place to be able to see what he needs to change in his perception of the world.
Also, yes he is indeed too hard on himself and everyone else. Very critical and a perfectionist who thinks he’s always right. He creates his own stress and I think he did want a perfect relationship which actually I thought was happening. He silently brooded and didn’t talk to me or open up because of that retrograde Mercury and retrograde Venus. Love and communication are hard for him and indeed he’s usually single so often that his friends once asked if he was gay since they’d never seen him around a girl!
IP: Logged |
athenaia
Knowflake Posts: 1380
From: USA
Registered: May 2015
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posted June 30, 2019 07:10 PM
Transiting Uranus earlier in the year (around March-April) was square his natal Venus. Transiting Uranus will soon be conjunct his IC, square his nodal axis, and square his Moon. Stability is probably a very boring idea to him right now. Because Uranus has been in his 3rd house for so long, he probably prefers to have snappy, quick, witty, intelligent conversations that challenge him right now. This falls in line with his comment that he didn't enjoy that you kept the peace and generally agreed with him IP: Logged |
SDragon
Moderator Posts: 758
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 30, 2019 08:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SunAscendant:
Also, yes he is indeed too hard on himself and everyone else. Very critical and a perfectionist who thinks he’s always right. He creates his own stress and I think he did want a perfect relationship which actually I thought was happening. He silently brooded and didn’t talk to me or open up because of that retrograde Mercury and retrograde Venus. Love and communication are hard for him and indeed he’s usually single so often that his friends once asked if he was gay since they’d never seen him around a girl!
Didn't catch those retrograde planets initially. Ouch, that's a handful.  IP: Logged |
SunAscendant
Knowflake Posts: 2639
From: California
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted July 01, 2019 12:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by athenaia:
Transiting Uranus earlier in the year (around March-April) was square his natal Venus. Transiting Uranus will soon be conjunct his IC, square his nodal axis, and square his Moon. Stability is probably a very boring idea to him right now. Because Uranus has been in his 3rd house for so long, he probably prefers to have snappy, quick, witty, intelligent conversations that challenge him right now. This falls in line with his comment that he didn't enjoy that you kept the peace and generally agreed with him
I met him May 13th and didn’t know him before that time. IP: Logged |
SunAscendant
Knowflake Posts: 2639
From: California
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted July 01, 2019 12:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by athenaia:
Transiting Uranus earlier in the year (around March-April) was square his natal Venus. Transiting Uranus will soon be conjunct his IC, square his nodal axis, and square his Moon. Stability is probably a very boring idea to him right now. Because Uranus has been in his 3rd house for so long, he probably prefers to have snappy, quick, witty, intelligent conversations that challenge him right now. This falls in line with his comment that he didn't enjoy that you kept the peace and generally agreed with him
Transit uranus is conjunct my sun right now and I have a natal Uranus/Neptune conjunction in my 7th house lol. I try hard to be stable in relationships too
IP: Logged |
SunAscendant
Knowflake Posts: 2639
From: California
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted July 01, 2019 12:44 AM
quote:
Originally posted by athenaia:
Transiting Uranus earlier in the year (around March-April) was square his natal Venus. Transiting Uranus will soon be conjunct his IC, square his nodal axis, and square his Moon. Stability is probably a very boring idea to him right now. Because Uranus has been in his 3rd house for so long, he probably prefers to have snappy, quick, witty, intelligent conversations that challenge him right now. This falls in line with his comment that he didn't enjoy that you kept the peace and generally agreed with him
Yeah I suppose he wants someone who fights with him all the time. Yet, I know if i did that he would consider that an issue.
IP: Logged |
Hydrogenatom
Newflake Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Feb 2019
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posted July 09, 2019 07:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by SunAscendant:
He said I bent over backwards for him. I guess he wants a mean b*tch even though if I was mean and difficult he’d still break up with me and cite a rude attitude as the problem.
Who said you have to be a B to disagree with someone? You can state your opposing point and still be nice about it. That's the middle ground. You don't have to be one extreme or the other. Sounds like he wanted you to have a mind of your own and not be his echo chamber. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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