posted July 31, 2019 09:11 AM            

I'm on the verge of a new beginning. A close relationship I've had with someone is coming to an end, I'm trying to grow in areas such as music but I'm having a hard time to assert myself. socially I do not know a lot of people who share my passion for music and I do not know many people whom I can discuss the deeper meanings of life with. Even though I know people. I tend to feel rather alone.

I find myself lacking self confidence. Which is part of the reason why singing is my passion. It's the scariest thing, the greatest fear in my life. But the rare few occasions I have been able to express my self freely alone ofcourse. have been the most liberating moments of my life. I wish to be able to make the unconscious.. conscious and transform myself trough my music. And have been slowly progressing in this by singing for people such as family members and friends. Who are very kind in their feedback but for some reason it doesn't click and connect with me and I still have a very hard time to accept I might actually be a decent singer.

Melancholy is a theme that's rather dominant in my life, which helps when writing poetry or music. But there are many days where I'd rather be an optimistic fool.

I have a hard time figuring out what I want to achieve in life or chase after what I want in life.. But fear living a meaningless life. I hope someone can tell me what you see and help me a long my path or give me a little pick-me-up.

https://i.imgur.com/MR3p32m.png (natal chart)

https://i.imgur.com/QdrFg08.png (aspect list)

It is very appreciated

Thanks in advance

With regards

posted August 01, 2019 07:28 PM            

That second set of transits in which Saturn & Pluto are conjunct natal Uranus-Neptune is a challenge to be more constructive towards your ideals, your dreams. It won't be as immediately gratifying as you'd like since Saturn is involved. Just keep at it.

The transits that involve Neptune often have uncertainty attached to them. Neptune is opposite your natal Sun as another such influence, but also trine natal Mars and natal North Node. Don't let the uncertainty of response or support for what you are doing give you any pause at all. Just keep developing your abilities.

You don't need to every make a living or any sort of profit in music for it to be worthwhile. You're doing it because you are compelled to and it doesn't need to prove its worth to you.

posted August 10, 2019 08:54 PM            

Your 2nd house shows your talents... yours is in Leo (creative talents, talent with expression, and yours is in Virgo in your 2nd house, the second house is Taurus, the voice/throat/singing! Virgo is also speaking/communication). But since this second ruler Sun is in Virgo and opposite Saturn, you’re very critical of all this (Virgo and Capricorn are both pessimistic and cynical/critical by nature). You’re too hard on yourself! I’m sure you’re a fabulous singer 😊

A lot of your energy in life is going to be directed towards introspective and solitary pursuits too with mars in cancer opp Neptune in the 12th, learn to be ok with this! There’s nothing wrong with liking to be alone or feeling disconnected, in the right time, the universe always sends us our right people and we find our path/purpose. You’re still young, don’t worry about it just follow your passions and do what feels right, what makes you happy. You’re drawn to this for a reason! So follow your dreams and if it doesn’t work out, at least you tried and you have no regrets. Just have a backup plan, an alternate way you’ll be able to support yourself (we all need one lol) if this music thing doesn’t work out.

posted August 11, 2019 05:47 PM            

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Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Keep going with it. Your efforts are well timed as Jupiter has returned to conjunction with natal Moon and Saturn and Pluto are doing their transit work conjunct natal Uranus and Neptune. The latter is especially significant in the arts and developing your talent.

That second set of transits in which Saturn & Pluto are conjunct natal Uranus-Neptune is a challenge to be more constructive towards your ideals, your dreams. It won't be as immediately gratifying as you'd like since Saturn is involved. Just keep at it.

The transits that involve Neptune often have uncertainty attached to them. Neptune is opposite your natal Sun as another such influence, but also trine natal Mars and natal North Node. Don't let the uncertainty of response or support for what you are doing give you any pause at all. Just keep developing your abilities.

You don't need to every make a living or any sort of profit in music for it to be worthwhile. You're doing it because you are compelled to and it doesn't need to prove its worth to you.

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Thank you for the clarity, I will keep pursuing music, its really the only thing I can imagine myself doing. At the end of the day its like you said it doesn't matter if I make profit or wether I'll become a known singer for that matter. I just want to be able to be free in my creative expressions thats the most important to me, and then after that fact, or during. Share those with the world ofcourse. Not because I want to be known, but rather want to be heard. And maybe, just maybe. Make a positive change in the world. In my own way.

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Bump!

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Thank you for the bump

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
I’m sorry you’ve been going thru a tough time. Don’t worry though, bad times never last! I promise.
I can definitely see that you very creative 😊 you’re a Leo rising, you have moon in the 5th house, your 5th ruler Jupiter is conjunct Venus, your mars is in the 12th house.

Your 2nd house shows your talents... yours is in Leo (creative talents, talent with expression, and yours is in Virgo in your 2nd house, the second house is Taurus, the voice/throat/singing! Virgo is also speaking/communication). But since this second ruler Sun is in Virgo and opposite Saturn, you’re very critical of all this (Virgo and Capricorn are both pessimistic and cynical/critical by nature). You’re too hard on yourself! I’m sure you’re a fabulous singer 😊

A lot of your energy in life is going to be directed towards introspective and solitary pursuits too with mars in cancer opp Neptune in the 12th, learn to be ok with this! There’s nothing wrong with liking to be alone or feeling disconnected, in the right time, the universe always sends us our right people and we find our path/purpose. You’re still young, don’t worry about it just follow your passions and do what feels right, what makes you happy. You’re drawn to this for a reason! So follow your dreams and if it doesn’t work out, at least you tried and you have no regrets. Just have a backup plan, an alternate way you’ll be able to support yourself (we all need one lol) if this music thing doesn’t work out.

Best of luck to you 🥰🥰 I hope I hear your music someday. I’m rooting for you!!

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I am very critical of myself haha, they always say you are your own worst critic thats definitely a true saying that rings very true for me. But I'm working on that. I have a hard time accepting the fact that I feel disconnected from society, people and myself. It makes me feel very anxious and as a result I get a lot of internalized pressure which ends up suffocating me from taking action in many directions of my life. But then again on the other side I do not want to fit in/do not feel comfortable to fit in the "systems/roles" society or the world has cut out for me. I long for deeper connections with people around me. But trough experience I have learned a lot of people are not open to this. And so even though I wish I wasn't alone. I almost rather be alone. Trough all this I have this intuitive conviction that as you said the universe will guide me. And I will find my purpose. And that the right people will come on my path.

You will most definitely hear my music someday

Thank you all for your time and replies, I really appreciate them.

I was also wondering if anyone could see whats up with my romantic department. I haven't been the most lucky person in this specific area. Does it say anywhere that I'm to find love later in life? Or that I have a hard time finding love? Any thoughts or information regarding this would be appreciated

Any input on my natal in general is always welcome as well. I'm a student of life and all its mysteries, trying to figure this thing called life out. besides a lot of introspection and self analyzing of emotions, the psyche and (un)consciousness. Tools like astrology can be very helpful in that regard.

posted August 22, 2019 01:22 AM            

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I was also wondering if anyone could see whats up with my romantic department. I haven't been the most lucky person in this specific area.

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posted August 27, 2019 08:49 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:

During childhood and adolescence, was your self-worth damaged by the criticism of any particular person (or group)?

And ... if so ... what was the criticism(s) that caused you the most emotional pain/discomfort?

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I've received a lot of critiscm from peer groups and family. Calling me names or ugly.
I've been rejected by some girls in elementary school and was once the bud of a joke where a girl was pursuaded to start a fake relationship with me. Furthermore I got teased a lot by girls in middle/high school. The worst critiscm I've received was from both parents at seperate occasions telling me they didn't want me. Deep in their hearts they didn't mean that, and being older I know this. But at those times their words cut trough me like a sharp knife.

And one of the worst thing that happenend to me which isn't really critiscm but contributes to my lack of socializing with females even now as an adult was at a young age I've been sexually abused by two girls