posted April 15, 2020 02:57 PM            

I've been struggling immensely in all aspects during this time. I was born May 14th 1991 when Aquarius was in Saturn with a stellium of Uranus, Neptune, Node, Lilith and MC in the 9th house.

I've heard that when the Sun goes into Taurus (my sun and moon sign) on April 20th, it will directly square with Saturn. Apparently it is going to be a very difficult transit. All this coupled with a Dark Moon in Aries (my Mercury is in Aries)...I feel so lost, depressed, lonely, angry, frustrated and scared.

My dreams of being chosen as my city's Historian Lauerate had finally come true. I was coming into some funding that was going to give me the resources and stability to finally get solid foundation for myself and kids. We have been poor and struggling for so many years.

All of that was ripped away with lockdown. The city is still shut down. I haven't heard any word on my funding or position at all, which was suppose to be announced to the City and Council next week. This was so deeply important to me and my community: I was to be the first Native American historian ever chosen in a Canadian city for this role. First Nations history was finally going to be making it’s way into mainstream media in Canada. I had been approved for a series of history documentaries to bring so much history, culture and story to the public.

I feel like all that may never happen now. I'm stuck inside each day with two young children and one of their father's, who is very emotionally abusive and neglects us all (including my 16 month old). I'm burnt out. Having anxiety attacks and even self-harming again. My 'partner' is the cause of so much strife and i'm now forced to live with him due to quarantine. It is the most toxic relationship i've ever been in, on and off for near three years now. Each day is torture.

So my i'm looking for any guidance...is there any hope in my chart? Is there a break in the clouds? Do I ever find anyone who will love and support my kids and I, or do I go it alone?

I’ve posted my natal chart & current transits, also my SO’s chart for reference. I’d appreciate and love any help. Thanks so much y’all!

Aîy aîy!

[img]https://i.ibb.co/dPxVY4s/5-F61-C1-AC-285-D-46-F5-8-D8-A-57-FDE6-C2715-B.png[/img] (my chart)
[img] https://i.ibb.co/HBQMHqV/205-B245-E-51-BE-4-EC8-ADF6-6-A4-FB95-EEF12.png[/img](his chart)
[img] https://i.ibb.co/jyLMWrQ/856-D83-C3-9-C33-476-B-B8-DB-3927-B806-BAF5.png[/img] (current transits)
[img] https://i.ibb.co/vHkYXyM/04942-CC4-32-DB-4-DB1-AFA2-A12-E89593-B2-F.png[/img] (synastry)