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Author Topic:   2nd Mnth Anniversary!  Theme reading - Soul Contracts  
MonteCristo
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posted January 12, 2021 12:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One other thing...he does not know that I’m coming 😬

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MoonMystic
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posted January 12, 2021 12:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
~

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MoonMystic
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posted January 12, 2021 02:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@ MonteCristo,

Can I ask your Jupiter/+Saturn placements?
I pulled a card but was curious if it might indicate more with your placements of your traveling energy.

Q ~ And also, how will my trip be received?
4 of Wands (Yes, positive) Celebration, joy I feel a bit surprised like in shock, yet very enthused and warm receptive energy ince the shock wears off.


- We are in the right time, swords with your clarifying. I'm looking it over +will write more soon.

quote:
Hi Moon. Again, thank you for this reading. It really resonated with me.

You mentioned that travel may be indicated for this soul contract. You were right. You also asked--"how adventurous are you?"
Well, the simple answer to that is, "very."

Could you pull a clarification card for me? I have booked my trip but am wondering when the best time to go would be...I'm looking between 10-24 days from now. But I'm confused at when I should go. Astrologically, it seems the best time would be around 24 days from now...but how am I supposed to wait so long? And what if it is too late?
And also, how will my trip be received?

Thank you for your insight and your intuition.



You're so very welcome ~ I just want to guide you correctly. Your Jupiter might clarify much better. in Trnsit too. Do you have a Jup aspect to Gemini by chance? Which house is he transiting for you in 12 days?

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MoonMystic
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posted January 12, 2021 02:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

MonteCristo,

Can I ask your Jupiter/+Sagittarius (my dang kb typo said saturn - sorry placements?
I pulled a card but was curious if it might indicate more with your placements of your traveling energy.

Q ~ And also, how will my trip be received?
4 of Wands (Yes, positive) Celebration, joy I feel a bit surprised like in shock, yet very enthused and warm receptive energy ince the shock wears off.


- We are in the right time, swords with your clarifying. I'm looking it over +will write more soon.

quote:
Hi Moon. Again, thank you for this reading. It really resonated with me.

You mentioned that travel may be indicated for this soul contract. You were right. You also asked--"how adventurous are you?"
Well, the simple answer to that is, "very."

Could you pull a clarification card for me? I have booked my trip but am wondering when the best time to go would be...I'm looking between 10-24 days from now. But I'm confused at when I should go. Astrologically, it seems the best time would be around 24 days from now...but how am I supposed to wait so long? And what if it is too late?
And also, how will my trip be received?

Thank you for your insight and your intuition.



You're so very welcome ~ I just want to guide you correctly. Your Jupiter might clarify much better. in Transit too. Do you have a Jup aspect to Gemini by chance? Which house is he transiting for you in 12 days?

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MonteCristo
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posted January 12, 2021 08:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Moon, thank you for such a quick response.

These are my current transits for Jan 12th:

And these are his current transits for Jan 12

My plane ticket is for Feb 4. But I can change it at no cost. On Feb 4th, he will have Venus, sun, Jupiter, and Saturn all transiting 7th house.

We suddenly parted ways a month ago... but my heart of hearts tells me it’s not because of a lack of love, but because he believes I don’t actually love him. Which is the basis of what he wrote in his letter to me. So I’m traveling across state lines, my aim is to reveal my true feelings to him, although I know he’s hurt, angry, and shut off.

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MoonMystic
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posted January 12, 2021 10:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
MonteCristo,

My DLs would not allow rest .. so I happened back here. I was looking at your chart, I'm putting together notes to add but based on this current transit setup. >below<

Can I see the charts of 2/4? I am looking at the decans. I want to see what happens with that transit.

Your card I pulled on the trip was ~
King of Swords (Aqua/Gemini)
  wise counsel +Air  (flights)

1)  Your card  (King of Swords) represents where tr Jupiter now  is located. Perfect.

2)  The tr  NN for you is in 9th (Sag natural home) - nice.

3) your natal tr Uranus is approaching  the 8th /Tau  (Venus) (commitments, contracts) - As you mentioned his upcoming transit with Venus is as well going to activate.

I'll add more once we can study the true date and possibly use the cards.

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MonteCristo
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posted January 12, 2021 10:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

I am just wondering whether that’s a good date. It seems so far away, I don’t know if I can wait that long 😂. I keep fearing the worst. I don’t even know if he will be home, yikes. I was considering going on Jan 21 or Jan 28th as well.

These are my transits for Feb 4

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MoonMystic
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posted January 12, 2021 10:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'll need a bit of study but TBH you're going sooner may be better . .


Yes .. Uranus is leading you. Fool card. an adventure.

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MoonMystic
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posted January 12, 2021 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
MonteCristo, ~ the Jupiter does correspond with your travel - green light this (King of Swords) card. As well the card represents where the Saturn is in transit. Saturn does handle contracts.  He is involved here. He rules the transit Moon+Venus from the 1/12 chart.
What I like about you two is your Jupiters are both cardinals! 

 (his 7th) (your 4th)
The Other Libra (his)/Your Home (Moon)

Re his Venus/Moon  are both Cardinal.  He does take this very serious, your move to show you are arriving, very much supporters that this will (once the shock fades) thrill him.  Your NN is leading to his cardinal  energy btw.

The cluster in transit of your transits for this are within decan 1 of Aqua. Uranus.  This will be a very shockworthy visit.  Adventures would very much benefit you both - no sitting still long. lol

Chiron for him involves 9th house, very healing. Any chance you two can travel beyond this meeting point? As well His? Saturn does indicate the Jupiter and Venus are connected in his natal. Interested in seeing you two in MP. the Soul Contract very well looks spot on MonteC.

He (Pluto) can make or break anything but he looks agreeable for you!
The tr Pluto is/will be 3rd decan, Mercury ruled
"Appreciative and joyous" and " Capricorn of the third decan will always keep their word regardless of the consequences or implications." http://www.thehoroscope.co/astrology-articles/capri corn-Capricorn-Decans:-Their-Impact-On-Your-Personality-And-Life-43.html


 ~ I'll let you mull this over. Let me know if there's  more card Qs .. or anything in regards to your charts. I do feel this will be positive- there's support by these heavy energies  imo.
You could run it by those in interpersonal  readings, there they are very astrology seasoned. ~ if you feel the whim, you could throw the blended midpoint if you two up on this thread with the transits for your choice travel date.

  Let me know .. this is exciting. ♥️


I had one worry, the tr NN would be a less benefic card but tbh the whole event with yiur cards, charts, transits far outweighs one particular *only potential energy.
Just keep the visit light hearted. Stay out of your head, him too. It should go very well.

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MonteCristo
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posted January 12, 2021 02:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MoonMystic:
MonteCristo, ~ the Jupiter does correspond with your travel - green light this (King of Swords) card. As well the card represents where the Saturn is in transit. Saturn does handle contracts.  He is involved here. He rules the transit Moon+Venus from the 1/12 chart.
What I like about you two is your Jupiters are both cardinals! 

 (his 7th) (your 4th)
The Other Libra (his)/Your Home (Moon)

Re his Venus/Moon  are both Cardinal.  He does take this very serious, your move to show you are arriving, very much supporters that this will (once the shock fades) thrill him.  Your NN is leading to his cardinal  energy btw.

The cluster in transit of your transits for this are within decan 1 of Aqua. Uranus.  This will be a very shockworthy visit.  Adventures would very much benefit you both - no sitting still long. lol

Chiron for him involves 9th house, very healing. Any chance you two can travel beyond this meeting point? As well His? Saturn does indicate the Jupiter and Venus are connected in his natal. Interested in seeing you two in MP. the Soul Contract very well looks spot on MonteC.

He (Pluto) can make or break anything but he looks agreeable for you!
The tr Pluto is/will be 3rd decan, Mercury ruled
"Appreciative and joyous" and " Capricorn of the third decan will always keep their word regardless of the consequences or implications." http://www.thehoroscope.co/astrology-articles/capri corn-Capricorn-Decans:-Their-Impact-On-Your-Personality-And-Life-43.html


 ~ I'll let you mull this over. Let me know if there's  more card Qs .. or anything in regards to your charts. I do feel this will be positive- there's support by these heavy energies  imo.
You could run it by those in interpersonal  readings, there they are very astrology seasoned. ~ if you feel the whim, you could throw the blended midpoint if you two up on this thread with the transits for your choice travel date.

  Let me know .. this is exciting. ♥️


I had one worry, the tr NN would be a less benefic card but tbh the whole event with yiur cards, charts, transits far outweighs one particular *only potential energy.
Just keep the visit light hearted. Stay out of your head, him too. It should go very well.


Moon, I so appreciate you taking the time and really looking into this. You help others and it is so wonderful. So thank you.

As for blended midpoint, do you mean the composite chart with transits?

I am pretty sure I won't go on Jan 21. But I am still thinking of going Jan 28, or Feb 4. I have tickets for both of those dates just in case 😂. I don't know if he'll be home on either of those dates, either. We have completely cut off communication. Well, he has. I think I've hurt him badly. He said he believes that I didn't truly care for him until after he left. And now he’s disappeared. He’s pursued me for years and we only recently began something romantic. I see him in a totally different light than I did before. I don’t know, maybe he really in fact lost feelings for me and is just too nice to say But I feel that he is hurt and wants to protect himself. February 4th just seems so far away. Well, so does January 28th. I'm not good with patience!

Anyway, the only major difference I see in going either on Jan 28 or Feb 4 is that his Venus will move from the 6th to 7th house, and will make a 4 planet stellium in the 7th. He's also in the middle of moving into a new house, right now so I wanted to give him time to settle in a bit before I showed up on his doorstep. Oh man. What am I even doing 😂

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MonteCristo
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posted January 14, 2021 02:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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Love&Light
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posted January 16, 2021 12:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Love&Light     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MoonMystic:
Love&Light,


  You're very welcome. Late is understandable.  Things aren't solid anywhere for too many of us.
 

[QUOTE] I don't know which one of the two this is about. Whoever, it may be, I am not interested in going deep with either but you don't know what destiny has in store for you. The first one in all likelihood may not have been allowed to establish a contact.


  It is possible you've not both activated it yet. Sometimes other Soul contracts can get precedence in the Spirit order.


 

quote:

The other person was my mentor or said he was. Because actually it was his mentor whom I had high respect for and he is truly an 'avatar'. You could google this word for its meaning. The disciple really gave me a bad taste in my mouth. Lesson learnt.


  That doesn't sound good.: heart: I hope it is all finished too.

quote:
Could this be my avatar, the person I have talked about above? He has left his body 3 years back and his DOB was 14th July. Could it mean that? Connected by blessings. Because we believe that the tie of a sadguru (spiritual mentor who takes you upto liberation) and this disciple never breaks.


  Intense,  as it is is, it is possible.  Youll3 need to keep me updated.

quote:
Thanks a lot to you again for doing such a resonating reading.

 It was my pleasure and I hope those hard lessons are all done!  [/QUOTE]

Thank you for your reply. May God Bless you.

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MonteCristo
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posted January 17, 2021 01:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I bought another ticket for January 24th 😂. I just am so impatient to get there. I haven't seen him since mid-December. Luckily all these tickets can be used as credit so it doesn't matter.
I'm just praying he's actually home, and that he is open to talking. I’m so anxious. I just don’t know what’s going to happen 😬

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Kimera
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posted January 17, 2021 01:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kimera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Moon, sorry, I think youve been very busy lately. Could u give me a hand with my portal reading topic? Thank you 🖤

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MonteCristo
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posted January 21, 2021 12:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Moon!

Just wanted to update you...I leave in 3 days. I don't even know if he will be home. Ahhhhhhhh!!! No idea what will happen; it is all out of my hands at this point!

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MoonMystic
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posted January 22, 2021 04:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MonteCristo:
Moon, I so appreciate you taking the time and really looking into this. You help others and it is so wonderful. So thank you.

As for blended midpoint, do you mean the composite chart with transits?

I am pretty sure I won't go on Jan 21. But I am still thinking of going Jan 28, or Feb 4. I have tickets for both of those dates just in case 😂. I don't know if he'll be home on either of those dates, either. We have completely cut off communication. Well, he has. I think I've hurt him badly. He said he believes that I didn't truly care for him until after he left. And now he’s disappeared. He’s pursued me for years and we only recently began something romantic. I see him in a totally different light than I did before. I don’t know, maybe he really in fact lost feelings for me and is just too nice to say But I feel that he is hurt and wants to protect himself. February 4th just seems so far away. Well, so does January 28th. I'm not good with patience!

Anyway, the only major difference I see in going either on Jan 28 or Feb 4 is that his Venus will move from the 6th to 7th house, and will make a 4 planet stellium in the 7th. He's also in the middle of moving into a new house, right now so I wanted to give him time to settle in a bit before I showed up on his doorstep. Oh man. What am I even doing 😂


MonteCristo ~
You're very welcome and thank you! -♡
I sincerely hope my timing here isn't awful. I was away awhile from LL.


Yes, your midpoints with the added transits.

That is a very powerful move you're making. Were he to have ever loved you - this he'll have to see. Imo he will (if he's a sensitive guy) be moved. Your reading I pulled on this reflected his first emotions may be shock, could be anger as you say "self protective " but the energy will likely change. I very much hope it does!

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MoonMystic
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posted January 22, 2021 04:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Love&Light,

You're so welcome. and 💕 thank you! 💕

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MoonMystic
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posted January 22, 2021 04:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MonteCristo:
Hi Moon!

Just wanted to update you...I leave in 3 days. I don't even know if he will be home. Ahhhhhhhh!!! No idea what will happen; it is all out of my hands at this point!



MonteCristo, On the 24th? This is going to be incredibly stressful on you too. You could try some meditation before. Just stay relaxed. The better for you both if you can. 💕 💕 Try and bring your most harmonic version of you to him. Let him see how he's missed you.
I'm around if you should need any Qs too.
You'll be ok - you are so brave!

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MoonMystic
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posted January 22, 2021 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kimera:
Hey Moon, sorry, I think youve been very busy lately. Could u give me a hand with my portal reading topic? Thank you 🖤

Kimera, hon I responded to that thread. I'll peek in to see if you were there yet though. 💕

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MonteCristo
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posted January 22, 2021 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, the 24th. Does something not bode well? I just couldn’t wait any longer. I’m not too worried about what my transits are saying, I’m more worried about his.

Here is our composite with transits for that date:

I’ll do my best to be calm. I’m sort of excited. I don’t even know his exact address, I’m just hoping my memory serves me well enough. Crazy, I know! And I’m just praying he’s home and is willing to hear me out.

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MoonMystic
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posted January 22, 2021 08:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm  I'll update here, pls refres pg MonteCristo.

Is the top his?
Tr Mercury is in conversations with Saturn (Karma)
in house of contracts, death + marriage. How long ago was your falling out?

His Saturn in a fixed Air area tells me he is essence a swords energy generally with his karmic contracts.
Self defense. Adding that square in his natural chart with Karma. He doesn't feel good in the unfinished karma. This could
bring a relief in this timing that you could work this karma out.

~ there's  nothing in transit to his home house indicating he's  not to be home. Has it been a long time since you spoke? With C19 many were misplaced.  Do you feel he would possibly have that happen?

His houses 8+9 could represent his home too, as they are the natural owners of his 4th. So essentially,  your visit, could bring the same energy we saw earlier in the cards. The process  of emotions from shock > to happy.

I want to study these with another scope. bb

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MoonMystic
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posted January 22, 2021 08:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Being excited is what you should be. Guess what ~ in your Combined energy Venus is tr cnj with Saturn! If you do get to see him, this is beautiful, Venus is supporting this. I feel you can work out the hurts and maybe (as long as he hasn't gotten into a serious rs) get the new seed planted to bloom a new lovestory.

Let me know if you'd like more. I feel seeing what comes out in the 3d (flesh reality) may be where your answers will be. You both have free will. Anything in chzrts, cards can be over riden by Free Will. But remember he subtly knows his cardinal cross is part of him. We saw that earlier.

I'm sitting on the edge of my seat - waiting to hear all you wish to share.


PS - I pulled a few cards, You started out with a combined energy of that mtg date Judgement. which can be good if both wish to use it as a renewal energy. This is number 20. As you had 2 additional ones for each of you come out, my furbabe came to say I wasn't in the proper location, as I get my readings mostly from a particular place. IMy cards spilled out - I caught them. Losing the pulled ones. So I went to the original space I read at. I opted one only (for you two combined) The Sun came out. So this is only one from Judgement. It moved backwards, yet now in shadow of the coming Mercury rx
~ It's often like Venus rx, it can bring old loves back. The Sun card will show that after the shock he and you should have a warm receptive energy. It will be comforting as to not want to put business (karmic contract - old heart ache) into the equation but the Judgement (19 - a momentary step backwards) will be your both needing to have an intense meeting of the minds/hearts to pull that Sun energy in fully.

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MonteCristo
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posted January 23, 2021 04:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Moon! Thank you for your reply. The last we spoke, barely, was New Years, but we ended things in mid-December...

Our story is one that perhaps should be written in poetic form...but I will try to describe it here.
You know those moments that seem to go in slow motion? Those moments that stay ingrained in your memory for an entire lifetime? When he and I first met, our eyes locked from afar, and I still see it in my mind's eye. He is not one to go unnoticed, but his eyes zeroed in on me and I felt that intensity immediately. Like fire. As we talked, and as he was telling me about himself, I literally looked behind me to see if someone was playing a joke on me. I thought I had been set up, because everything he was saying was literally torn out of a page from my Ideal Man book haha. He was strikingly good looking, accomplished, intelligent, charming, and read Aristotle and F. Scott Fitzgerald in his spare time. WHAT. I was definitely blown away. I agreed to go on a date with him a few days later. However, all those good looks and charm--I assumed he had many women after him, and I just refused to be one of the many. Nevertheless, he pursued and pursued, like an eagle, but I would not budge. He told me, "You're quite possibly more stubborn than me. And I don't give that compliment often." 😂 He was always very clear that he wanted me. However, I always held him at arms length because, even though I liked him quite a bit, I felt that he held some sort of power over me. It was unsettling--I'm not used to feeling that way. I couldn't explain it. I'm very confident and sure of myself, yet with him I could barely keep eye contact, and I felt his energy, or whatever it was, penetrating me...in a thrilling way but also I wanted to smack him lol. His intensity, although flattering, angered me at times (I'm kind of feisty, if you couldn't tell from all the Leo in my chart lol). So, out of anger, or pride, or what, I decided I was not interested in going further. I also can't ignore the fact that the previous Soul Contract I had came back into the picture shortly after that, and I once again became bound to that. Then, a few months later, he ended up moving for a new job, and we didn't speak. He told me later that he came looking for me the night before he left, but to no avail.

A year and a half passed, when all of a sudden, I see a message from him. Of course, I was happy to hear from him; our conversations have always been exciting and thought provoking. He said he was partially shocked that I remembered who he was. In my mind, I was like, is he fishing for a compliment? HOW could I not rememeber him? He told me he thought he was just a fossil among all the other suitors I've chewed up and spit out 😂. An inaccurate view of me, FYI. I may seem that way at first perhaps, but I do not enter into relationships quickly, and I don't casually date or waste other peoples time by leading them on. EVER. Anyway, it was curious to me that he saw me that way. I'm actually quite awkward, to be honest with you 😂
Although he was living in another state, he asked if I would be spontaneous with him and forget about the distance and impracticality for a bit and see if this was something that I'd be interested in. I said well, why not! I knew he was unique, and our natures, our minds, our desires matched up more than anyone I'd ever met before. So we went for it. However, after about two weeks I felt again that perhaps this was only a conquest thing for him. I felt that intensity of his--and it drew me in yet repulsed me at the same time. I can't explain it. He wrote me beautiful letters, he was patient, he was consistent--yet I still would not budge. I don't know what was wrong with me! I think perhaps I still had healing to do with the previous Soul Contract you mentioned in the first reading (What's interesting, by the way, is that you identified the first soul contract as a virgo, and this current one as a leo. The first one actually has a virgo rising, and this current one has a leo rising. Nice catch This time around, again he was just so intense that I felt like my space/time/soul was invaded. He backed off, but still would message me every few weeks, asking if I was ready to marry him yet (in a joking way). I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intruiged and flattered by his persistence. It takes some serious confidence to not give up after SO long! But after a while, I realized that this repulsion, or this resistance that I felt, wasn't because of him, but because of me-- I felt insecure--like I couldn't possibly live up to just how amazing he thought I was. I felt like no part of me would ever stay covered or hidden from him, and that in itself is quite an unsettling experience. I felt bare and exposed in his eyes--and to a person who is at once very private and guarded, well, that's an uneasy feeling, to say the least.
We had never even been physical except for one kiss. But he elicited a lot of feeling from me that I could not define or understand.

So, this past fall, one of my friend's who just so happens to live in the same city as he does, vehemently urged me to come to the Halloween party she was hosting. She had been begging me to visit her for the past two years, so finally I agreed, and bought my ticket...and I won't deny that the thought that he lived there crossed my mind, and maybe affected my decision We hadn't spoken in about a month, I wasn't sure if he had given up already from being rejected so often by me. But I decided to send him a message telling him I'd be in town...and he was as kind and as gentlemanly as ever. We ended up seeing each other at the Halloween party. I, in a lobster costume (don't ask haha), him, in a traditional German costume. Quite the pair 😂
But....Can you say SPARKS!??!!?! I felt ALIVE.
After I got back home, we began just the most beautiful relationship. Talking everyday, facetiming--and our conversations weren't just about mundane, trivial things--we spoke of the future, of our inner worlds, of the ancient wonders, of philosophies, of science, of ideas. We never ran out of things to say. It was simply thrilling talking to him, and more and more I kept thinking WOW, how did I not see this before? Why did I shut it all out? After we'd hang up the phone I'd literally fall back onto my bed, clutching my chest, almost in pain at how much I felt for him.
I ended up booking a trip to see him. And those few moments of waiting at the airport before he picked me up, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, but seeing him, it was as though all the nerves went away, yet were fluttering inside me at the same time. I felt calm yet excited. It was the strangest thing. And the weekend went wonderfully well.
As confident as I am, though, I do have insecurites like any other person, and I kept thinking in the back of my mind, "Here I am finally falling for him, the thing he's always wanted...what if all of a sudden now he realizes he doesn't feel the same?" I operated on that fear the entire time leading up to my trip, thus keeping my heart very close to my sleeve and not showing too much of how I felt. Although, I had already fallen in love with him.
I think I did some things that made him truly believe that I would never feel for him as deeply as he felt for me. He always said that he is used to me picking others before him. Which, looking back, I can see how he'd think that. I've left him hanging so many times. He's experienced more rejection by my hand than I think in his entire lifetime combined. (On our first date, my best friend CRASHED IT. Mortifying. And so many times when he'd try to see me, I'd always choose to go with friends. And this past trip in December, I guess I did a similar thing.) I left early to go stay at a friend's...and I didn't respond much to him...it's a lot to go into and probably some boring details that only really are of interest to me-- but Since we live in different states, and he didn't truly know how I felt, he made that decision to cut everything off before going further and getting hurt even worse by me again. At first I thought him ending things was because my deep fear had been realized-- that he didn't actually have intense feelings for me like he'd thought. I was crushed. I couldn't get out of bed for a week. I lost almost 10 lbs. But after getting some answers from him--it seemed as though he was protecting himself. He told me that he believes that the only time I truly cared about him or romanticized him is after he left. and that for that reason he truly believes that we must go our separate ways. He said words could never explain how much it pained him to say that aloud, and that every word, kiss, and letter between us was genuine. He said that although the pull to me hadn't gone away, his belief in what this could be, had.

I don't know. Maybe I am crazy. But he made this decision on false pretenses. He thinks I didn't care until after he left...but if he only knew! If he only KNEW! If only he could read what I'd written about him in all those weeks leading up to my trip! My diary is filled with realizations and confessions of just how much I loved him, just how much he meant to me. Yet he thinks I was running around in frivolous pursuits, not realizing, nor even able, to see his soul, or to appreciate just how devoted he was to me. I'm taking a huge risk, I know. I know he may have no feelings left for me. But I cannot go through life knowing that he based his decision on something that is just simply NOT true. So, here I am, taking a crazy trip. Not knowing his address, hoping and relying that my memory serves me well and I remember the house he showed to me that he had just built. It seems irrational, insane. I know. But I also know that love like this does not come around often, if ever, and I need to take a chance and fight for it. I have always said love is supreme. That love is worth dying for--- of attempting the impossible for. Who would I be if I didn't throw myself in fate's way and claim--and seize--for myself that which I have forever dreamed! Ah, ah, perhaps I have read too many love stories! Or perhaps, this is one that is writing itself! I do not know what will happen. I just pray to God and hope that truth --and love!-- will prevail.

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MoonMystic
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From: LІVІИБ. LІБНГ.БЄІИБ
Registered: Nov 2016

posted January 23, 2021 04:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.
MonteCristo


look ^ At the same time I left those cards pls read ^.. both major arcana. Divine is instrumental in your trip. ♡


I'll respond in the morning. My apology, it's dark here.

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MonteCristo
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posted January 23, 2021 06:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MonteCristo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MoonMystic:
.
MonteCristo


look ^ At the same time I left those cards pls read ^.. both major arcana. Divine is instrumental in your trip. ♡


I'll respond in the morning. My apology, it's dark here.


Hi Moon!

Is it symbolic to receive two major arcana cards at once? I am not familiar with tarot. I sure do hope the Divine is working alongside us for tomorrow...

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