posted February 05, 2021 07:13 PM            

♥️.
Stoika

Sorry about my delay  returning, my dear Stoika. Had so much in my rw, timeout from LL..
Clarification  answer  re J, first meeting +Empress embodiment  answer -

"What did he feel when he had to go?"
  (Fell out) 6 of Pentacles
Your card  3 of swords -  Anguish,  pain. As though someone chose something/someone else that meant more to the one to remain in the energy still giving love,  emotion.

posted February 05, 2021 10:13 PM            

In short --- he realizes it's you he should have been with all along and wish he would have stuck with you from the beginning. ❤️

posted February 05, 2021 10:29 PM            

Yes. Stoika, your instincts are right.

posted March 10, 2021 11:46 AM            

The Star
Your very own energy! Plus these lectures,  where you were speaker and your books ~ you are star quality. The hope, healing and
beauty of the star, this is how other's see you! Any dissatisfaction,  noone can see it. You are shining brightly Stoika. Find total inner happiness  and enjoy your next few months. You might find yourself running from suitors too.  This card has 4 wise owls all clamouring for her attention!  💖💖💖

~ Moon ~

posted March 10, 2021 08:46 PM            

I read it all carefully and yes, most of it resonates, even though I feel trapped in a no way out situation more than a crossroad since so long, years... it's true that I feel mentally very energetic at this moment and that I achieved a lot despite my difficult situation, and I can't hold back to you that I feel very proud about this. But the situation I am stuck to never changes and it is what hinders my path and potentiality enormously... this is cause I have been through a very harsh health issue, keeping me imprisoned for many years, unable to move and destroying all I had previously built or was in the process to... this has also damaged my inner balance so much and even though I am physically recovering now, I feel like my soul/mind won't ever recover from all that I have been through cause of my longtime sickness, relationships included... Yes, other people seem not to fully realize about my struggle and they only see my positive sides, but I am not hiding anything, I just see people around me are very superficial and escape the painful side of the situation... I have married someone who I am not in love anymore since many years, which is actually mutual, but we're trapped in this cause of my health situation and the fact that I completely depend on him financially and often also for pratical things I'm not physically able to be self-reliant about yet... so basically I am stuck in this, have no way to get self-reliant at financial/professional level and neither at love/romantic relationship level... I miss having a true romantic relationship since years, I am getting older and I fear so much I won't have a chance anymore, nor professionally and neither romantically... my artistic and creative activity is the only thing that keeps me going and actually alive since years, without it I guess I wouldnt be here talking to you... and this is all the positive energy you see and my little success, social influence and appreciation from people, but it is not something that is giving me a financial base to get independent and so again I feel stuck, trapped in the same old dynamic of not being a free and fulfilled person as I potentially could be... the Emperor, I know who this is, he's my husband who hugely hinders my self-growth, I depend on him for everything and he's supportive for practical and basic things, I really should not complain, but it's hard cause then at human level, communication, creativity, professionally, he puts huge walls to me, I'm basically into his hands, I can't choose anything in my life, I am not free to do anything or have a say, and he's not supporting my artistic path, not even encouraging it, always discouraging instead and casting a shadow on any of my ideas and projects, and this is hugely frustrating.... the change you see I'd wish is about setting myself free from him really, and from all the limitations that he forces me to since years... but as I said, I can't see a way out from this.
Romantically, you know I am in love with J, since 5 years now... even though it stayed only platonic, falling in love with him has saved my life, gave me the strenght to carry on, be creative, write my books and so on, keep dreaming... just falling in love with him made me feel alive again and helped me recover... I still can't forget him, even though he got married meanwhile, even though he just had a child, even thouhg he's far away and happy with another woman... I can't stop loving him, I dream of him every night since 5 years and when I stop thinking about him or stop hoping to see him again, my depression takes over and I just wish to die and I don't care about anything else... My love for him kept me going and achieve all I could, and I live with the hope to meet him again just to look into his eyes once again...........

Sorry for writing so long... big thank you for your reading, I'll try to understand what the message is and how I could possibly follow your advice.

And thanks for reading/listening

posted March 14, 2021 11:30 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
Oh Moon, I'm speechless...! This was a wonderful surprise and I can't thank you enough ❤️❤️❤️

I read it all carefully and yes, most of it resonates, even though I feel trapped in a no way out situation more than a crossroad since so long, years... it's true that I feel mentally very energetic at this moment and that I achieved a lot despite my difficult situation, and I can't hold back to you that I feel very proud about this. But the situation I am stuck to never changes and it is what hinders my path and potentiality enormously... this is cause I have been through a very harsh health issue, keeping me imprisoned for many years, unable to move and destroying all I had previously built or was in the process to... this has also damaged my inner balance so much and even though I am physically recovering now, I feel like my soul/mind won't ever recover from all that I have been through cause of my longtime sickness, relationships included... Yes, other people seem not to fully realize about my struggle and they only see my positive sides, but I am not hiding anything, I just see people around me are very superficial and escape the painful side of the situation... I have married someone who I am not in love anymore since many years, which is actually mutual, but we're trapped in this cause of my health situation and the fact that I completely depend on him financially and often also for pratical things I'm not physically able to be self-reliant about yet... so basically I am stuck in this, have no way to get self-reliant at financial/professional level and neither at love/romantic relationship level... I miss having a true romantic relationship since years, I am getting older and I fear so much I won't have a chance anymore, nor professionally and neither romantically... my artistic and creative activity is the only thing that keeps me going and actually alive since years, without it I guess I wouldnt be here talking to you... and this is all the positive energy you see and my little success, social influence and appreciation from people, but it is not something that is giving me a financial base to get independent and so again I feel stuck, trapped in the same old dynamic of not being a free and fulfilled person as I potentially could be... the Emperor, I know who this is, he's my husband who hugely hinders my self-growth, I depend on him for everything and he's supportive for practical and basic things, I really should not complain, but it's hard cause then at human level, communication, creativity, professionally, he puts huge walls to me, I'm basically into his hands, I can't choose anything in my life, I am not free to do anything or have a say, and he's not supporting my artistic path, not even encouraging it, always discouraging instead and casting a shadow on any of my ideas and projects, and this is hugely frustrating.... the change you see I'd wish is about setting myself free from him really, and from all the limitations that he forces me to since years... but as I said, I can't see a way out from this.
Romantically, you know I am in love with J, since 5 years now... even though it stayed only platonic, falling in love with him has saved my life, gave me the strenght to carry on, be creative, write my books and so on, keep dreaming... just falling in love with him made me feel alive again and helped me recover... I still can't forget him, even though he got married meanwhile, even though he just had a child, even thouhg he's far away and happy with another woman... I can't stop loving him, I dream of him every night since 5 years and when I stop thinking about him or stop hoping to see him again, my depression takes over and I just wish to die and I don't care about anything else... My love for him kept me going and achieve all I could, and I live with the hope to meet him again just to look into his eyes once again...........

Sorry for writing so long... big thank you for your reading, I'll try to understand what the message is and how I could possibly follow your advice.

And thanks for reading/listening

❤️❤️❤️

---

You're more than welcome lovely Stoika. 💖
Thank you for sharing how the reading resonated where it may have.

~ The trapped feelings could be hard on you. I wonder if you could magnify your release (self) areas that you created, to be just FOR "you" where you write and network. Aquarians are very loyal yet so in their own minds often too. If you expand the energies of "self" you might simply one day see yourself outside that rather comfortable bubble with your husband. (I truly can identify with part of this).
 Take good care of you, you are priority 1. I wish so many more were in the "depth rather than superficial realms". This seems so rare that most want to go within, see outside popular topics - realms of the many vs smaller and deeper centric. I'm very interested in your books as you are very sensitive and deep. 
 
  You're very brave to explore outside that Emperor realm. (Lster I might share more on my story that's similar- this is about You )
Even acknowledging  you have this block in front of you. Your husband may feel you are a "security" facet in his world, though it seems otherwise because he is the stronger finance one. Unfortunately it is never recognized how when we are bringing in less, we still bring our energy. Love and care etc. So he's fearful of losing you more than he will say. Emperor is Aries based. Which he could be prideful.

 
 Regarding J. That is powerful but don't feel so sad or heavy heart over him. Redirect that love you have for him ~ for Stoika. She is most deserving of this love you have enormously ready for another. Place extra love into you until (if there is a reunion)  you're able to show him all he's been missing.  💖

 Don't be sorry about sharing. You needed to relay how these energies did resonate. I'm sorry they do yet it might in longer term help you more you see some delicate portions that cards can help bring to the surface.  They are a wonderful tool in inner healing in this way.
 Sending you so many powerful healing vibes.
 Much love to you Stoika. 💖

posted March 15, 2021 09:23 PM            

Of course I would like to listen to your story!!! Please share more, sista ❤️

My husband is a Scorpio with a lot of Scorpio and Virgo planets... our synastry and composite suck, lol !! his Saturn/Chiron is opposite to my Pluto, and square to my IC/MC axis... in Composite, we have Saturn conjunct North Node, and Chiron/Pluto-Jupiter opposition square to the stellium, my name asteroid included... it's very binding in a disastrous way, the Pluto/Chiron opposition is psychologically abusive, I realized he was hindering my self-growth way before learning about astrology, it was just a confirmation to see it shown in your charts :-)

He's really a very good man, a lovely person, we're just too different and he unfortunately is quite narrow-minded. We love each other like brother and sister, not like lovers or wife and husband at all since many years. But the issue is that we have an impossible communication, really harsh, and that he doesn't understand my intellectual and artistic dimension at all, and he's also very cold and dictating sometimes... I'm am already very limited by my health situation, I feel he puts limits also to my creativty and to my mind expansion, I need someone who inspires me otherwise I get depressed and I prefer to be alone...

As for J, I know your words are wise and I am aware of what you're saying, I am just not able to do that... I wish I was... I think I have "projected" all the things I miss in my life towards him and my love for him, and that this projection is the only tool I have to keep going....

I am working on the editing of my book together with a US translator for the english version, I will be happy to send you the book as soon as this work is done, if you like :-)

Big Love ❤️

posted March 15, 2021 11:06 PM            

 Venting is the only way to release a burden. To talk it out with another if the one (Emperor)  isn't available to discuss, it will  bring some comfort. 💖 Eventually you may have opportunity with him.

Did your synastry always "suck" to your opinion? Your medical troubles bind you to him, have you looked at yours/his Arabic points too. He probably loves you deeply but his energy is so difficult with yours. It isn't good though if you feel it has no redemption of surviving these harsh aspects.

 He does, I feel love you strongly. Yet he's (and you too) may be misunderstood by the other. (same in my situation). I once heard a therapist say married couples transmute to sibling status. It is true. Familiarity steps in and they forget the newness. Jaded tot3he other. The mystery of the other is diminished.

 With J, did you meet him online? I think you said 5 years ago? It must have a powerful chemistry-synastry yours+his.
If you and he have not let go of eachother - I don't see your not finding your way back together at some point. The heart grows far deeper in absence. 

  I'll buy your book. I just thought it compelling to read your creations. 💖 Another Aqua mind and yours is deep, passionate.  I admire your creativity.

  You said  "doesn't understand my intellectual and artistic dimension at all .."
That's partly mine too and many of my troubles are the inner growth I've accomplished, yet he doesn't wish yo and I can't make him. I adore him but we're on differnt levels of an intricate game  - so to speak. I didn't  set out to do that but it has happened despite my wishes. Somehow I feel I'm  here for a purpose and it is much different from my "original  self". My marital story really is dull but very similar in the core frustration you have. I have so much fixed energy, I can't  see myself without him. It's just not as I thought it might be, I'm  pretty certain he feels that way too.

  Sending you all healthy and happy wishes 💖

posted March 16, 2021 10:29 PM            

Yes, your situation sounds similar to mine with my husband, so I guess we can understand each other so well!!

Well, the truth is that our relationship was never so "passionate", we've always be more friends than lovers, we just got along pretty well at the beginning and I was shocked by my horrible story with my ex, who I was madly in love with, and so I had this kind of rejection for that kind of romantic/passionate love, I was just happy to have a very "peaceful" relationship... but then, after a few years, so many things have changed, with my sickness and when things get tough you get to know the other person much better, with time, and all true differences and issues come to surface... the main problem is that we were both trapped in my health situation, which has been draining for both... yes I guess he loves me, but still in a different way than romantically, he's "attached" like family to me... but it's years now that I believe our relationship is quite negative for both of us....

On J... thank you so much for your wishes about getting back together ❤️ no, we met in person, not online, and it was love a first sight... but we only met three times, can you believe it? :-) it's a crazy and "psychic" story which I deeply feel is not over yet, despite the fact that reality appears much different and "impossible" at this moment.................

posted March 21, 2021 08:49 PM            

It's incredible how much you and me have in common, really ❤️ I feel you can understand my situation perfectly!

No, with my husband we dont have much age difference, pretty close, he's just 4 years older than me. With J there's age difference, he's 9 years younger than me!!
Yes, he's very handsome and charming, he's a british actor. But it's not just that, he's brilliant and intense/sensitive person. we started to have crazy synchronicities and an unconscious telepathic connection since we met, which I got aware through being connected on social networks later and it drove me a bit crazy. I mean, I was scared and coulnd't explain it. Also, the way we later met again, was absolutely unbeliavable, and many other things... I didn't find answers, I just know it's such a magic connection and I can't believe it's over, it just wouldn't make sense..... ❤️

posted March 21, 2021 09:26 PM            

J is much younger yet 9 is perfect.Women mature differently.
Okay, J is sensitive,  the curiosity is what are his Moon, Mars and Venus. Curious due to how  you/I have similar  stories. I wondered if we are drawn to similar energies.  I find it as interesting.  ☺

 The telepathic part is awesome, I have this too with a few different ppl but nothing like you and J. It does sound magical.
Something like in lovestories.

posted March 22, 2021 09:59 PM            

His Moon is in Virgo and conjunct to my South Node/DSC
His Mars is in Leo and exactly trine to my Mars.
His Venus is in Gemini and exactly trine to my Venus, conjunct my IC and square to my Pluto...
Also, my Moon in Taurus is exactly conjunct his Sun, but his Saturn is square to this...
it seems we have strong psychic aspects in Composite, with the Nodes conjunct to ASC/DSC.