posted October 21, 2022 11:43 AM            

I've always struggled with knowing what to dedicate my time and energy to, whether it's about my hobbies and free time or my career. The particular issue career-wise, however, is that people also expect stuff from you and I'm never sure if I can deliver what is expected. I feel like I constantly burn out and fail at whatever I set out to do. I've aware of themes of self-sabotage in my chart, but I would like more insight specifically about my 10th house.

I have Jupiter in the 9th or possibly 10th (not sure of the minute of birth and in my case it changes everything...), conjunct MC, Neptune in the 10th conjunct Mc and finally, Uranus in 10th or 11th depending on the house system.

To say I'm overwhelmed and confused about reputation and career matters is an understatement! I'm chronically in a state of confusion and even when I try to meditate about it and what feels good to me, the replies are multifaceted. There are too many things I would like to do.

Right now I'm studying art history, after years of dreaming of attending art school for college and failing I decided to settle. I always felt a huge drive to create things from nothing, to adapt and mix different things together in a chaotic manner. I always wanted to express myself creatively. But I find that creative work can also be very draining and quite frankly not pay enough (sth a cap mc would probably be worried about?). Anyways, these days I work as a DJ, photographer and graphic designer, party promoter, a little bit of everything needed to host parties and events. It brings me a lot of joy but also a lot of stress and since I'm not the most extroverted person, sometimes I forget how to network lol, which is super important in this line of work (sometimes I'm really great at it though with Jupiter in the 10th/MC).

Anyways, I would love some insight about what I'm doing professionally and what aligns with my chart. I know a lot of the jobs are mentioned can be categorized as Uranian and Neptunian, but I'm wondering if there's anything else out there for me.

I've considered becoming: a teacher of art or languages or history, a photographer, painter, historian, studying philosophy and religion (analyzing patterns in human nature, anthropology, gives me great joy for example but it's mentally draining and it doesn't have a direct impact on people around me and I like to see that).

I know that I have a motto though — I believe I should work to serve people and make them happy, to bring the biggest amount of happiness to the largest number of people possible at any given time. So working with entertainment or night life is something I've been tethering on the edge of for years.

I studied Communication Design and Art in high school, English at university, then switched to Cinema, then realized I preferred photography but didn't study formally, then finally settled on a BA in art history. I feel like I'm settling with this degree but I can also see how it opens up possibilities to explain things to large groups of people, go on walks and picturesque places and personally to make life more enriching for me with the knowledge I acquire.

But right now I'm at a crossroads because the DJ thing is taking off and I can't manage the two.

Anything you see and can point out related to career, money-making ability and reputation (especially how it can be destroyed since I'm terribly afraid of that since it's happened in the past), I would be very grateful to hear. ^^