posted May 08, 2025 07:49 AM            

[img]https://i.ibb.co/XrQkFj1F/synastry.jpg[/img]

Synastry chart with sister

posted May 10, 2025 08:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by odalix:
Hi,

I have a real problem. I moved in with my sister, Scorpio Sun/ moon in capricorn(I don't have her birth time) ten years ago into the appartment my mother bought for us. My mother was elderly and we looked after her.She passed in 2021.
Since then, her 40 yr son lost his job and moved in with us.He has since found a menial job but not enough to survive on his own.He's deeply depressed and drinks,he refuses any help.My sister is enabling him and is very,very controlling of the household.I finally brought it up in a calm and respectful way: the drinking, the controlling up, suggested AA and asked her to please stop with the micromanaging. She's gone into stealth mode and is in denial; I find a hole ripped in my sweater in my room, passive/aggressive behaviour with some verbal sadism .She took the boundary setting( I call it a gentle curtain) and even suggesting her son had a problem as an outrage(shame and guilt for what's happening in her life).I'm trapped as I am looking for a job and not sure what to do as I am walking on eggshells now. I'm also quite isolated due to feeling awful.I finally spoke to my daughter today about this situation( without the details) and my daughter is going to speak to my niece,the scorpio's daughter. I'm also looking into family therapy.I'm very afraid of the backlash and don't know how to talk to a scorpio to diffuse this?

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posted May 10, 2025 09:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:

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posted May 10, 2025 10:25 AM            

This ingress would have suggested living arrangements being cramped or oppressive (Sat).

Saturn in ♓ transit should have sparked a moving out or differences between yourself and those sharing your space, being abundantly clear.

2024 would have been especially tense-since Saturn would conj your Dsc and opp your Asc. Social isolation and feeling alienated from others , can happen during this time.

I would have thought that transit Jupiter in Gemini conj your Mc and opposing Ic, would have given you reprieve i.e. have you move out or resulted in some changes in career that were fruitful. Even though those changes came with additional challenges( Saturn transit also squaring your MC).

But perhaps Merc 7 Vir/Jup 9Pis opp needs to also be triggered for there to be real change? Together with that Moon/Sat conj? We will have to see.

What i can discern from your story however, is someone who is not so much afraid of the "rage" of your sister. But perhaps always being someone who doesn't like conflict. And feels that they have to do ALL they can(even if sacrificing themselves) to avoid it.

Maybe you are the type who feels "torn" because of seeing both ends of the stick? Your chart is mostly comprising of a see-saw formation with your Sun/Moon included therein.

Were your parents divorced? Or even if they stayed married, maybe you felt that you were always dealing with extremes in differences in the family?

For example, maybe Mom/Dad were like night and day? Or there was someone within the domestic space that was extreme and had to be managed in a cautious way? And you had to be a bridge/go between in the family that manages the extremes?

Moon conj Saturn suggests that Mom was strict and you perhaps lived in oppressive conditions that didn't feel very loving?

Notice how this pattern is being repeated now with you living with your sister a Cap Moon(Sat) being the controlling one on the domestic front(Moon)?

Moon also rules your 11thhouse(older sibling). So your sibling(because of Moon conj Sat) feels more paternal than a sibling. She can be emotionally hard to get close to because her attitude like a parent than a sister to you

Ruler of the Ic is Jup. Jup is opposite Mercury(siblings). Jupiter is also conj Dsc from the 6th house. So you were always going to cohabit or be in some type of arrangement with a sibling.

But because Jupiter (ruler of the 7th) is in the 6th, that arrangement was also going to be fraught with difficulties (6th).

I have seldom met a Mars in Gemini who doesn't want to get into a back/forth with someone. And even goes all out to avoid it.

But I must also take into consideration that for you, sibling relationships are very important. As the ruler of your 3rd house (Mars) is in Mercury ruled ♊. And Mercury conj your Asc from house 12.

Also repeated is ruler of the 3rd house of siblings(Plu) in your 12th conj your 1st. And Venus in Libra is in your house 1.

Having so many planets in the 12th house and Merc/Plu conj Asc ,means that you live your life in the shadows/the background. And always try to make yourself as unobtrusive to others as much as possible.

You probanly don't even take up much space in that shared home. Clean up after yourself as much as you can and basically stay out of everyone's way. That's been your MO.

You are also someone who senses the subtle and unspoken. You are sensitive to pick up on potential bottlenecks and standoffs before they happen. And perhaps this was training from a young age as the go between between Mom(Moon) and Dad(Sun)?

However way you received the training, that Neptune in 3rd house also tends to have you react to the inferred or implied, rather that what is actually said.

You are very good at reading body language and facial expressions and cues. So much so that you can be very uncomfortable with long silences that you feel an impending need to fill them up with words.

Those around you know how quick you are to bend over backwards, that they don't have to do or even say much to have you react. Because they know that you are so much for maintaining the peace. That you will go to extremes to preserve it.

Your sister is (unfortunately) not as enthusiastic about being diplomatic to you as you are to her.

I don't know how long you plan on pussyfooting around? But there is a storm coming that will manifest around the 18th to the 24th of May. Maybe even earlier that that? As the energies are aligning towards an implosion.

The week of the 18th sees transit Jupiter Gem conj your Mars in ♊. Transit Mars in ♌ will be opposite your Moon/Sat in ♒. Transit Merc ♉ squaring Moon/Sat in ♒ and transit Venus ♈ widely opposing natal Venus ♎.

Its not the sister's rage that I am highlighting here. Its yours☝🏾. Your sister is not the only one who can be capable of rage or being triggered.

How do you deal with rage? You stop it before it gets there. Just like how one would throw a spanner on the wheels of a lone bike that is moving towards a busy road. You stop the problem and nip it at the bud before it escalates.

In this case , it may involve holding a meeting with your sister so that you can finally assert yourself and air your grievances.

This is not a time to go the back route or find some other means, this is openly confronting something so that it doesn't become bigger and stand between you and your freedom any longer. Come what may.

Write down all your thoughts and what you intend to raise on that meeting. And set it up soon. Go through what you want to say so that it's in your head and then speak to your heart's content.

On the week of the 18th, transiting Uranus will he conj trans 🌞. And both will be reacting with your Sun/Ura in the 12th.

Don't put this off any longer and wait for her to make a move. No. State what you want to see happen as you have EVERY right to live in that house "eggshell free".

You have a powerful Mercury. So perhaps you are better at writing things down and preparing them to be said than saying them spontaneously? This especially with Mercury in the 12th. Then do that.

And if you are concerned about being tactful, we here can even help edit the letter drafted before the talk.💪🏿

posted May 10, 2025 12:06 PM            

1) Absolutely. I feel like I'm being unfair in not seeing both sides and what my part in a conflict is.(I hate conflict because in our household, it was always dealt with immaturely and with underlying dominance and poweer plays-no fair play or respect at all). After all those mental gymnastics, I feel like a punctured balloon with all the air leaking out and subsequently, argue myself out of speaking up.

2) My parents divorced very acrimoniously and continued to stay in that state(at least, on my mother's side). My sister took on the mother role over us two younger siblings.My mother maintained he was the cheating b*****(true or not)
and nothing was wrong from her side-she was emotionally unstable and could be physically violent. My dad was a gentle man but ofc, he had his faults-his career came first and foremost and as long as the image was publicly presentable.There was a great cultural divide between the two.In the end, (and not a good thing in my mind), they moved back in together because of necessity.Totally night and day and very mismatched but as my therapist said, in some way they loved each other.That's not my idea of love.

3)I watch the weather on people's faces and unspoken communication( a sigh, or a lifting of the eyebrows)yes, that's me. I may not be very vocal but I can usually get what's going on on a subliminal level.

4) The pussyfooting? I'm doing a technique called " gray rock",it works great in a short term but it feels like being submissive after a while. I don't like it at all.
My rage? I sense it's bubbling up but I can't express it and am heading into a depression.

She's very adept at strategy, both verbal and emotional, and always makes me feel like I have two left feet and am tongue tied when countering her arguments. I'm really apprehending the full moon in scorpio next week and the transit you pointed out.

posted May 12, 2025 05:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by odalix:
wow thank you so much for this in depth analysis!To answer your questions in a linear way:

1) Absolutely. I feel like I'm being unfair in not seeing both sides and what my part in a conflict is.(I hate conflict because in our household, it was always dealt with immaturely and with underlying dominance and poweer plays-no fair play or respect at all). After all those mental gymnastics, I feel like a punctured balloon with all the air leaking out and subsequently, argue myself out of speaking up.

2) My parents divorced very acrimoniously and continued to stay in that state(at least, on my mother's side). My sister took on the mother role over us two younger siblings.My mother maintained he was the cheating b*****(true or not)
and nothing was wrong from her side-she was emotionally unstable and could be physically violent. My dad was a gentle man but ofc, he had his faults-his career came first and foremost and as long as the image was publicly presentable.There was a great cultural divide between the two.In the end, (and not a good thing in my mind), they moved back in together because of necessity.Totally night and day and very mismatched but as my therapist said, in some way they loved each other.That's not my idea of love.

3)I watch the weather on people's faces and unspoken communication( a sigh, or a lifting of the eyebrows)yes, that's me. I may not be very vocal but I can usually get what's going on on a subliminal level.

4) The pussyfooting? I'm doing a technique called " gray rock",it works great in a short term but it feels like being submissive after a while. I don't like it at all.
My rage? I sense it's bubbling up but I can't express it and am heading into a depression.

She's very adept at strategy, both verbal and emotional, and always makes me feel like I have two left feet and am tongue tied when countering her arguments. I'm really apprehending the full moon in scorpio next week and the transit you pointed out.

I'm leaving for 3 weeks on the 20th May (phew)for my daughter's wedding. I would love to go over a written outline with you about the points to remember when talking to my sister as it's true I'm better at expressing myself in writing. Again, thank you so, so much for your time and effort.

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Yes. No problem. I will assist wherever i can. Just add it on here and give me a heads up.

You can remove it at your own discretion too when done. All is well🙏🏿

You sister has a tense Ura square Nep-Mars which squares Moon and Mars. She is internally volatile. A feather falling on her elbow (at the wrong time) can set her off.

So there is really very little that you can do to manage the small storms that can fire off spontaneously.

The transit of Mars entering Leo should have triggered some discomfort in the living space. As transiting Plu is also there busy stimulating this tense square buildup in her natal.

As it moves into mid Leo, it will square her Mercury/Sat before rounding up on her Sun at the same time that Uranus Taurus opposes it.

There is quite a lot happening with her. And this could also impact her behaviour in the homefront too.

Add to that, she also has Sun/Plu square. So she plays her cards very close to her chest. Not an open person at all. And that coming tension of end Leo Mars transit on the Sun/Plu could also bring up some issues and tense situations that she gets very irritable about.

Remember that as a 12th house native, you need to protect your surroundings fiercely. If not, you can find yourself at the mercy of other's passive aggressive tendencies and micro aggressions.

Over time,it will feel like you're going mad because you are picking up on so much that doesn't belong to you to feel in the 1st place.

I am glad that you are leaving for 3 weeks. Perhaps this may give you an opportunity to think properly and get a much needed break from all that clutter of energy you've been experiencing.

In the end, i also think you will at some point have to take your share of the property and live independently and in peace. 12th houses do best living alone anyways or having their own haven to escape into.

Unfortunately she won't change to be the person that would be the ideal living mate for you. She is a ticking bomb. And you will forever be feeling the underlying currents of whatever feelings she isn't expressing.