posted March 05, 2003 05:04 PM         

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

..one old love
she can imagine
going back to...
and one who reminds
her how far she has come...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...enough money within her
control to move out and
rent a place of her own
even if she never wants
to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

..something perfect to wear if
the employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

..a youth she's content
to leave behind...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a past juicy enough that
she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a set of screwdrivers, a
cordless drill, and a black
lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

..one friend who always makes
her laugh... and one who lets
her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone
else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...eight matching plates, wine
glasses with stems, and a recipe
for a meal that will make her
guests feel honored..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a feeling of control over
her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

..how to fall in love without
losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

..how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

...when to try harder... and
when to walk away...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

...that she can't change the
length of her calves, the width
of her hips, or the nature of her
parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

...that her childhood may not
have been perfect...but its
over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

..what she would and wouldn't
do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

..how to live alone... even if
she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

...whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...

posted March 06, 2003 08:32 PM         

Thanks for posting this. I have mailed this to everyone I know. Men included

posted March 06, 2003 10:43 PM           

WOMEN'S HUMOUR - (aptly named)

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will
make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over
the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

---------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you."

---------------------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

---------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
---------------------------------------------

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.

---------------------------------------------

He said - Two inches more and I would be king
She said - Two inches less, and you'd be queen

---------------------------------------------

On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere..."
Written just below it "I do not"

---------------------------------------------

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart

---------------------------------------------

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror you big fatty.