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Author
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Topic: Excerpts from Stephen Covey's books
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raj_105_2001
Knowflake Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 11, 2009 08:30 AM
 
Stephen Covey's writings though very pragmatic have deep spiritual meaning. I therefore intend to produce excerpts from his books here.Are we basically a product of nature(our genes) or of nurture(our upbringing and environmental conditions)? The very question is based on a false dichotomy. It is based on a false paradigm or map of human nature, that of determinism. We are a product of neither nature nor nurture; we are a product of choice, because there is always a space between stimulus and response. As we wisely exercise our power to choose based on principles, the space will become larger. Little children and people who are mentally handicapped may not have that space, but the overwhelming majority of adults do. Determinism is deeply embedded into present day culture and is reinforced by the terrifying sense that if I do have choice, then I am also responsible for my present situation. Until a person can honestly say "I am what I am." and "I am where I am because I so choose to be there." that person cannot say with conviction "I choose otherwise." (From Stephen Covey's 8th habit. Pg 62) IP: Logged |
raj_105_2001
Knowflake Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 12, 2009 11:14 AM
(From Stephen Covey's 8th Habit Page 175)
I remember heading up a meeting in a large organization where the formal leaders where discussing various personnel issues. They seemed to be in complete agreement regarding the weaknesses of a particular individual. They even began to tell jokes and funny stories about this individual in ways they would never do to the person's face. Later the same day one of the executives came to me and said that for the first time he could now trust my expressions of appreciation and affection for him. "Why so?" I asked. "Because when we were cutting that person in our earlier meeting, you were against the current and showed genuine concern, care and regard for them." I asked why that had impacted him. He said "Because I have similar weaknesses, only they are worse. No one knows about them, not even you. So every time you have expressed your appreciation and regard for me, inwardly I've said 'But you don't understand.' Today I feel you would. I feel you would be true and loyal to me even in my absence and that I can trust you and believe your kind expressions."
The key to the many is often the one; it is how you regard and talk about the one in that one's absence or presence that communicates to the many how you would regard and talk about them in their presence or absence.IP: Logged |
starr33
Moderator Posts: 11
From: Does it matter?
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2009 01:53 AM
[The key to the many is often the one; it is how you regard and talk about the one in that one's absence or presence that communicates to the many how you would regard and talk about them in their presence or absence.]
Wow! I'm impressed with Mr. Covey's words. This is my kind of book, raj-books that discuss the fact that we do have choices to make and must take responsibility for the outcome. To me, that's what life is all about. The key is realizing that we possess the ability to do this. I'll check him out on Amazon later this week. Better yet, I'll have the library borrow it from another if they do not have it themselves.
Thanks IP: Logged |
starr33
Moderator Posts: 11
From: Does it matter?
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 15, 2009 02:09 AM
Okay, I just took a look at the library's catalog, and they do not have this particular title, but many surounding information centers do. While searching I came across some of his other works that caught my eye:*Everyday greatness : inspiration for a meaningful life
*The 7 habits of highly effective families : building a beautiful family culture in a turbulent world
*The 7 habits of highly effective people IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 172
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 04, 2009 04:47 PM
*bump*------------------
"Fortune favors the bold." Erasmus IP: Logged |
raj_105_2001
Knowflake Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 08, 2009 11:19 AM
(Excerpt from Stephen Covey's 8th habit Page 151)
As my son in law Matt was being interviewed for medical school, he was asked whom he would prefer: a honest surgeon who was incompetent or a competent surgeon who was dishonest. He reflected and gave a very good answer. He said "It all depends on the issue. If I needed the surgery I'd go for the competent one. If it was a question of whether to have the surgery or not, I'd go for the honest one."
Both character and competence are necessary. But they are also individually insufficient. General H. Norman Scwarzkopf put it this way:
I'd met a lot of leaders in the army who were very, very competent. But they didn't have character. For every job they did well in the army, they sought reward in the form of promotions, in the form of awards and decorations, in the form of getting ahead at the expense of someone else, in the form of another piece of paper that awarded them another degree... a sure road to the top. You see, these were competent people, but they lacked character. I've also met a lot of leaders who had superb character but who lacked competence. They weren't willing to pay the price of leadership, to go the extra mile because that's what it took to be a great leader. To lead in the twenty-first cenury...you will be required to have both character and competence.
You will clearly discover, if it's not already obvious to you, why there is no way you can make significant progress in relationships with other people if your own life is a mess or if you're basically untrustworthy. That's why in the last analysis, to improve any relationship, you must start with yourself, you must improve yourself.
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raj_105_2001
Knowflake Posts: 3
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 08, 2009 11:20 AM
The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of - PASCAL.
Suppose you've been having trouble with your eyes and you decide to go to an optometrist for help. After briefly listening to your complaint, he takes off his glasses and hands them to you.
"Put these on." he says. "I've worn this pair of glasses for ten years now and they've really helped me. I have an extra pair at home. You can wear these."
So you put them on, but it only makes the problem worse.
"This is terrible!" you exclaim. "I can't see a thing!"
"Well, what's wrong?" he asks. "They work great for me. Try harder."
"I am trying." you insist. "Everything is a blur."
"Well, what's the matter with you? Think positively."
"Okay. I positively can't see a thing."
"Boy you are ungrateful!" he chides. "And after all I've done to help you!"
What are the chances you'd go back to that optometrist the next time you needed help? Not very good, I would imagine. You don't have much confidence in someone who doesn't diagnose before he or she prescribes.
But how often do we diagnose before we prescribe in communication?
"Come on honey, tell me how you feel. I know it is hard, but I will try to understand."
"Oh, I don't know Mom. You'd think it was stupid."
"Of course I wouldn't! You can tell me. Honey, no one cares for you as much as I do. I am only interested in your welfare. What's making you so unhappy?"
"Oh, I don't know."
"Come on honey. What is it?"
"Well, to tell the truth, I just don't like school anymore."
"What?" you respond incredulously. "What do you mean you don't like school? And after all the sacrifices we have made for your education! Education is the foundation of your future. If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school. Time and time again, we've told you to settle down. You've got the ability, but you just don't apply yourself. Try harder. Get a positive attitude about it."
Pause.
"Now go ahead. Tell me how you feel."
We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really deeply understand the problem first.
If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.
(From Stephen Covey's 7 habits of Highly Effective People Page 236)
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