posted March 31, 2003 08:30 PM         

I was at work, but it was set up like a classroom, the old fashioned kind with rows upon rows of desks with holes in the front for books. I was talking to some guy Steven, who looked very sleazy, dressed all in black with a squinty smile. He needed to borrow one of my dolls, the black haired one with the violet eyes. I said, okay, as long as I get it back because I need it for an assignment I am doing this weekend (I’m a writer/teacher). So then a few days (hours?) later I go back to Steve and ask for the doll and he gives me this weird look like Hmmm,. what doll? and I said I told him to give it back and then he tells me that he needed to ship it overseas to some client, etc. And I am furious and I yell at him, I tell him Hey, I told you, that you could only use that doll if you gave it back. Now I am in trouble because I need it. He seemed (?) confused and searched his files and found the air slip/receipt that proves the doll was shipped overseas. Not sure which country but the doll was definitely gone. So then I try to reconstruct the doll in my mind’s eye, maybe I can still do the assignment. She looks the same as I remember, wearing the same light blue jumper, only one side of her hairline appears to be shaved. She is missing hair on one side of her head and on that same side there is a dark red bar across her cheek, sort of in the same place blush would be. The mark is on her left and my right side. Then all of a sudden I am with my Kindergarten class. We’re on a class trip (someplace outside) and one of my favorite students, Emily, shows me a pencil that is decorated, or made to look like, black lace. Then I am in my parents’s house. Only it is empty. Somebody is throwing a party in the backyard. I am walking to my parents house from the train station about a mile and a half from the house, it is all uphill, more uphill than usual, I can hardly make the hills. They seem to get steeper as I walk. When I get to the house, it is empty and windy. All the doors and closet doors are open. There are still clothes in some of the closets. I remember seeing a white skirt with red flowers in my old bedroom closet, blowing in the wind. There is a party in the backyard but the guests are not supposed to roam the house. I find two young girls of about four or five in my parent’s room, in their closet, and I tell them to get out, and not to touch or take anything. When I ask them if they took anything from the room, they nod yes, and one of them hands me a handful of white tissues.

posted April 03, 2003 01:14 AM         

Okay let me look at this tomorrow when I'm a bit more awake. I've had a busy day and I'm sooo pooped!

posted April 03, 2003 01:52 PM         

I think Stella hit on some good points.

posted April 04, 2003 12:30 AM         

As for why the doll's hair was shaved, Stella, I haven't a clue! The doll just appeared that way to me suddenly. I got the feeling that the red mark on the cheek was blood, but I'm not 100% sure. Either way, I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and those of WOA.

posted April 04, 2003 01:22 PM         

There is something dark there, something veiled ... lonliness and hurt. Your childhood was just as empty as your parent's house, at least emotionally.

And there is much said in the name STEVEN. Do you know this person? Or is this the dream name of this individual? I think he represents an energy that affected you in your younger years, now part of your unconscious (wearing black).

There are telling words within this name that fit in with the rest of the symbology that I am seeing in this dream.

STEVEN

EVENTS, perhaps near TEN or SEVEN, affecting your TEENS? EVENTS from the NEST (childhood)? SEE these EVENTS? VENT so you can become EVEN? EVENTS SENT, SEE EVEN.

See what I mean?

As soon as I get a chance, I will detail more of the symbology as I see it. There could be some very personal information involved here, so if you like, I will be rather general in my thoughts. If these generalities strike a chord with you, you can ask me to continue here, or you can e-mail me. Hopefully, I will be completely wrong and we will not need to dig any futher!

posted April 04, 2003 04:47 PM         

Thanks for your message. Yes, I think there is something in my childhood, but I'm not sure what...I have a very poor memory when it comes to my younger years; I'm not able to remember anything before the age of 12 or 13.

STEVEN could very well mean the events you mention...as for it being a person, I only have one cousin and one ex by that name, neither of which are very significant in my life. So it's probably events...and seven or ten sounds about right.

I know what you mean about it being personal; I'd be happy to email you personally but I don't know your email address.

posted April 04, 2003 06:57 PM         

My e-mail is ra@linda-goodman.com, there is a link at the top of this forum - "moderated by Ra".

The figure is a projection of self. The big book is knowledge/information. This image describes an aspect of you, that part which feels upside-down or "dangling"/incomplete because of the knowledge/information that you lack which is contained in this "book", your past.

It seems that your sub/unconscious is tempting you with bits of veiled information about your younger years.

posted April 05, 2003 09:25 AM         

Wow, a lot of what you are saying is making sense...it's also starting to sound a lot like my therapist! I do have trouble with my past, I did have some things happen but I'm not sure what they are exactly or if they are related to what's going on with me now. Without getting into detail, a lot of what you have suggested rings true for me. Especially the references to the doll, and the scalping (I thought of that myself; she did look scalped). But what do you mean about being deprived of my feminine side? Not sure about that.

I have never had a dream interpreted, but everything you and Ra are saying makes so much sense, even the train reference, the uphill climb, etc. And the house, and the clothes, and the closet. BTW, do you think that the two girls in the closet signify anything, e.g. the number two? Or the age of the girls (4 or 5)?

I just re-read my original post about the dream and got a creepy feeling...after hearing what you and Ra have had to say, it's starting to seem really different to me now. It's amazing how everyday images, when put in certain combinations, can have such different meanings. I think I will pay a lot more attention to my dreams from now on...

posted April 09, 2003 02:41 PM         

Thank you for your trust.

posted April 10, 2003 01:23 PM         

My thoughts mirror Stella's to a great degree, so much so that it would be redundant to post them. But perhaps it would help to hear the same message from more than one source - so here it goes ...

There is an unconscious energy/experience (Steven in black) of a rather dark or negative nature which originated in your childhood (doll/old fashioned school) upon which your subconscious is working (work) so that there may be an ending to some cycle resulting from the experience (weekend=end of cycle) which will aid in your growth (school).

The doll is a projection of self - this part of you is "missing" and disfigured. You have reached a point in your life where this missing part needs to be found/understood so that you may continue in your growth (complete assignment).

It is the feminine side of self which has been disfigured/scarred (left) in some childhood event (doll). The projection of the unconscious energies (hair) that involve this past situation have been "cut off" (shaved) or blocked, so you must use your intuition (light blue) coupled with your imagination (mind's eye) to connect with that unconscious/dark/veiled information (black lace pencil) which is emanating from your child self (Emily), awaiting conscious realization (outside).

The last scene reiterates the same theme, but I have run out of time so I will post my remaining thoughts tomorrow!

posted April 11, 2003 09:23 PM         

As your mind approaches the source of this energy/material from your past (parent's house) the task grows increasingly difficult and resistant (difficulty up hill). At the source there are repressed emotions and emotional unfulfillment (empty house), but there is the beginning of awareness (open doors and closets), change (wind), and signs of balance in the making (two girls/red and white skirt - red=masculine white=feminine). Those aspects of self which are hidden in the past are being opened up to you (clothes in open closets).

However difficult it may be to face this past, I feel that your childhood, and whatever happened in it, represents the completion of some karmic cycle/lesson, a cause for celebration (party) on the soul level, and a secret kept, so far, in your unconsciousness (backyard). But elements of this secret are beginning to sneak into your life, your awareness (two girls in the house) - they are beginning to come out of the closet.

These two young girls seem to carry a many-layered symbology. As mentioned before, they can symbolize balance as well as awareness of this past, but they can also symbolize the separation, the division that occured within self at their apparent age of four or five. They also symbolize unconscious to conscious movement of energy/material. Their most positive expression is one of healing and balance, the unification of yourself as you become aware of (white) and cleanse yourself of (tissues) the emotional forces that have been hiding within for so long.

posted April 12, 2003 06:59 AM         

yep, wakeupmaggie, i got a distinctively positive feeling from the last part of your dream.

posted April 13, 2003 11:08 AM         

I think that the "incident" or "incidents" represented in the dream, while not remembered, continue to affect my everyday life, namely in relationships. I seem to keep making the same mistakes in men...

Do you think there's anything I can do to prompt my brain to remember these missing childhood memories? Would either of you recommend regression therapy or hypnosis?

posted April 13, 2003 12:34 PM         

Do what you feel you need to do.