posted May 27, 2003 12:54 PM         

I sometimes have these dreams of my lover, Jff, wherein we are lying next eachother in bed having something of a conversation.
Sometimes I can remember snippets of what was said but most often all I can remember is that I got to hear the melodious sound of his voice in my dream.

Last night this is what I dreamed. (These dreams verge on being lucid I think. Whenever I encounter Jff I am aware in the dream that he is, in 'actuality', dead. But I don't really have control over the circumstances of the dreaming like I've heard one does when dreaming lucidly.)

Jff and I are lying in bed and he is not speaking. I have something I'm trying to ask him but my voice doesn't seem to work properly. It's as if I'm hoarse or have a speech impediment and I can't even get my mouth to form any sort of coherent speech. I *think* (though this detail is fuzzy) I was trying to ask Jff WHY he died. I think I know the reasons that his higher sELF decided it was time to depart but I desperately want to hear the reason directly from him. After awhile of my stumbling over words, he looks at me in that intense sort of way with his big watery Piscean eyes and says, "We can't go to sleep with all these lights on." Suddenly I can speak and I say, "I'll turn them off." I wander through the house, which is my house from childhood that I haven't set foot in for about 11 years, and turn off all the lights except the dining room light. Try as I might, none of the switches seem to work for that one and I get extremely frustrated and eventually give up. Eventhough I think, 'Jff is going to be angry that I couldn't turn that one off.' I notice that it's already daylight outside, so the light being on is particularly pointless. I try going back to the bed but that's when I woke up.

posted May 27, 2003 01:05 PM         

Do you think we actually encounter their spirits somehow on the astral realm or are they just manifestations of our own yearning to communicate with the deceased?

Both, among other possibilities.

I will try to feel this dream out as soon as I can. There is certainly some symbolism involved.

How do you feel about this dream? Did it feel like a communication/contact, or did it feel like a manifestation of your yearning?

posted May 27, 2003 01:39 PM         

Alittle bit of both actually. As if it was my yearning for answers drew him to me with some reluctance on his part. Holding himself at a distance from me for whatever reason. There have been other dreams where it felt MUCH more like a contact was actually made. I don't know if that helps much.

posted May 28, 2003 01:36 PM         

This is what I wrote in my notes last night:

This dream IS trying to tell you something, but I cannot say if the message is coming from Jff or from your own subconscious - could be both.

The dream seems to be indicating that there is some difficulty communicating to, or expressing yourself about, Jff (trouble speaking) - and of course communication/understanding is something you want very much. The short dialogue gives both the problem and a solution.

Problem - "We can't go to sleep with all these lights on. -- There cannot be communication through these subconscious means (sleep) with the interference of TOO much conscious mental activity (lights).

Solution - "I'll turn them off." -- Immediately you are able to speak (communicate) because of this suggestion. Relaxing the mind, lessening the mental activity (turning lights off) are your "first steps" (childhood home) towards better communication. Only a need and desire to incorporate the energies you want (answer from Jff) is required - all other thoughts and efforts should be minimized. It is then that a growing awareness of the answers you seek will manifest (daylight outside).

In essence, the message is suggesting that you put the question into your mind, and then let it go, do not dwell upon it too much. Creating a clear channel for the answer to manifest is the goal, and too much thought about it creates interference.

I might suggest altering your question somewhat. Instead of asking "why", try asking "what caused". There does not seem to be much of a difference on the surface, but to the subconscious mind, there is much.

I hope this helps. Does any of this ring true for you?