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Author Topic:   irony, must you be so cruel *sigh*
anafaery
Knowflake

Posts: 863
From: west coast, yummy rain forest, canada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 24, 2003 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anafaery     Edit/Delete Message
well... as i said in another thread...

as i had just explained here about how i have come to terms with my dreams and no longer have nightmares, i had two the last two nights.

i dont necessarily require interpretations of them, but im curious, has anyone experienced this? where you have had many vivid and unsettling/ weird dreams for years, then dealt with them and had none for years again, then all of a sudden out of the blue you have a couple of scary nightmares? ill copy what i posted in the other thread.

quote:
dreams used to affect me very deeply. more often than not they were so utterly bizarre that i had a hard time accepting them, they were riddles that seemed so complex that i couldnt interpret them for the life of me. other times they were nightmares so real and so terrifying that i would be affected for days, walking around very depressed and feeling a cloud of doom hanging over me let me stress- they were heavy and i feared sleep. nowadays i still dream but i have freed myself from them, i suppose i have a coping mechanism of sorts. when i wake up i push them out of my head, and get on with the day rather than dwell. i do not have any more nightmares really. i dont remember when i had one last. luckily i am free of that now. if there is something going on in my life i believe i will get that information elsewhere, without the distress. dreams take me really personally, and i them. dreams come when you are at your most vulnerable, and i prefer things like astrology charts/transits etc which kind of let me feel safer.

these two dreams i had happened after i participated in the eminem thread in the lexi forum.

the first one had eminem in it. i was with my husband i think, and the whole atmosphere of the dream was really dark. somehow eminem had contacted me, and wanted to tell me the 'truth' about him. i felt foreboding... but i had to go, because i need the truth, its an essential prerequisite to my wellbeing. he was sending a car to pick us up, who would then take us to eminem. i could see eminem in my minds eye, and it was definitely foreboding... he was standing under a single streetlight in a dark deserted alley, his arms were folded over his chest and he had an army behind him in agressive poses. his 'posse'. i knew that he wanted me there for no positive reason, i had the impression that he was going to ensure that i was 'shut up' because i was vocal in criticism of him. so the driver picks us up, and is actually a lovely chap. very down to earth, very jovial and caring. we drove and drove, and never got to the meeting. we had a couple of mishaps on the way (i vaguely recall an earthquake opening the road beside us which we narrowly averted). my kitty woke me at 4 am with persistant mews in my ear, i dont know what *that* was about... but i couldnt go back to sleep after that dream, although part of me wanted to reenter the dream scene i resisted as it was too scary. i felt like i was on my way to be murdered.

then last night again, only eminem wasnt part of the dream. i dont remember the details, all i remember was it was one of my terror dreams where i am at risk of grievous bodily harm. i dont know the source, but it was a human/oid. i really dont remember much, although i wish i did now, but back then i had to shake it from my mind so i could go back to sleep. kitty woke me again before anything untoward happened, but it was coming to 'get' me. i didnt go back into that state too, although i sometimes can and do if the dream is pleasurable, even after goin to the baffroom. i lay there listening and waiting... i felt this feeling that there might be someone in my house. i am on a second floor apt, and keep my door open at night as i like the fresh air too much, and cant breathe when im locked in here with no air. i usually feel very safe in my apt, even though its not the best building. i trust my instincts though. tonight though if i feel anything i will close and lock it.

it was just really weird, i dunno why id feel like there was someone in my apt. it was very scary but im a tough broad

oooh i just remembered part of that second dream. ok. someone was trying to get me yes, in my apt, and i was trying to call 911 but i couldnt say anything, cause i was frozen in fear. i dont remember any more of it but now i do remember that.

hmm... should i be sleeping with my door locked for awhile? or are these not prophecy or warning so much as my own psyche feeling unsafe?

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QueenofSheeba
Moderator

Posts: 738
From: California, USA
Registered: Feb 2003

posted July 24, 2003 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for QueenofSheeba     Edit/Delete Message
Well, personally I don't have much faith in prophetic dreams so I would say it was your psyche. But I wonder if maybe you've suffered from violence in the past? Or maybe in a previous incarnation? Or has a family member or friend?

Maybe you've seen scary movie recently. After I saw '28 Days Later', I was in a bad state for a while.

On the other hand, if you really do feel afraid and your intuition is going ALERTALERTALERT then you probably should lock your door and grab a baseball bat.

Question: have you suffered from these nightmares everywhere you've lived, or just in your current apartment?

I don't really know what I'm talking about, so don't let me scare you. I'm sure you know how to take care of yourself, and I'm just telling you what you already know.

------------------
Hello everybody! I used to be QueenofSheeba and then I was Apollo and now I am QueenofSheeba again (and I'm a guy in case you didn't know)!

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anafaery
Knowflake

Posts: 863
From: west coast, yummy rain forest, canada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 26, 2003 03:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anafaery     Edit/Delete Message
hi queen nice to meet you.

id have to agree with you, i think something was bothering me a LOT and it came through in my dreams. ive felt nothing but peace here for the most part, even though its in a REALLY bad neighbourhood. i am just quite assured of my safety.

i burst out laughing when you asked if id been a victim of violence, cause well, i have. it doesnt bother me anymore, so please dont feel bad! but yes, ive been victimized a few times in my life. when i was a kid i was sexually assaulted over a period of at least a couple years, then when i was 19 i was followed home and raped by a stranger. honestly DONT feel bad, those are just mere facts in my life at this point, ive gotten over it. doesnt hurt me at all to relate that to you, its just stating a fact.

scary movies dont bother me. im a pretty grounded person.

to answer your question, most of my nightmares were in other places. since ive been here they have subsided a lot. ive taken certain stressors out of my life too, such as my mother. i had to stop having contact with her. many of my dreams stopped shortly after i did that.

i think the eminem dream was more of my picking up negativity from him. we were discussing him at length in the lexi forum.

thank you for responding

~faery

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 27, 2003 02:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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anafaery
Knowflake

Posts: 863
From: west coast, yummy rain forest, canada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 27, 2003 11:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anafaery     Edit/Delete Message
everyones got a story, randall

im a survivor thankfully. what else could i be, with an aries moon and an earth grand trine in arguably the strongest planets?

(venus virgo mars capricorn saturn taurus)

wheeee! suffering, but the strength to get through it.

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Ra
Moderator

Posts: 2641
From:
Registered: Apr 2001

posted July 28, 2003 01:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message
Wow, anafaery - you are quite an individual.

Do you sleep in darkness? Try a night-light. Seems too simple, but it eliminates many types of night-terrors.

Walk in Peace

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anafaery
Knowflake

Posts: 863
From: west coast, yummy rain forest, canada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 28, 2003 03:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anafaery     Edit/Delete Message
hi Ra hope you are enjoying your vacation!

im just really pragmatic i think.

do i sleep in darkness... hmm. i like to, i find that lights irritate me a bit, i just cant relax if something is illuminated. its funny you ask that though because i have had problems with insomnia for YEARS... perhaps it might be that i cant sleep because of feeling unsafe in the darkness, and my subconscious doesnt want to lose its alertness so it 'makes' me sleep when there is light out. most of my posting is done in the wee hours, i do like the stillness and calm of night. until i get my wish and live in the mountains or boonies, i guess im stuck with noisy days.

perhaps i should try having a light on, perhaps i will be able to sleep at night. sometimes i can, sometimes i cant. i need to though, cause i need to get certain things accomplished in my life so i can make some money. i wont do that if im sleeping all day. its been bothering me a little bit lately actually.

maybe part of the need for darkness relates to the migraines, ive had em for years and when i get them its absolutely necessary because im awfully audio and photo sensitive. motion makes me hurt more too so i just lay there as still as i can.

ill try sleeping with a little light tonight and see what happens. i really do need a good rest, i havent slept very well since my husband went back to wa state and i need a good rest so desperately. im like a zombie right now. tried to work on tevas chart tonight, and i just had to give up even though i have to get that done like NOW. its bugging me.

thanks for your input

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anafaery
Knowflake

Posts: 863
From: west coast, yummy rain forest, canada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 31, 2003 02:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anafaery     Edit/Delete Message
just to let anyone thats curious know...

last night i had one of the best sleeps ive had in days. i fell asleep at around 11pm, was only woken once when a telemarketer called to offer me a service i already HAVE from the SAME company this was at 10 am but i managed to even be polite to him and go back to sleep i slept until noon and then dragged my sorry ass out of bed but it was really needed... i needed that rest badly.

i think i know what those dreams were about now. this might be interesting for anyone who is interested in dream interpretation.

i think that it was my psyche feeling misunderstood. the eminem dream, well i took a stance in the thread that was contrary to most. indeed i see him in a different light than most of my peer group irl. i also was having issues about feeling like i just had nowhere that i belonged, and i couldnt express that, i didnt feel comfortable. the driver in the car was telling me that even if i didnt believe in something, it was ok. i mean he *worked* for this dream eminem and he was jolly nice to me and we got along great. the pitfalls along the ride seem to suggest to me that there may be times where friends disagree, but that doesnt mean that friends will bring each other down, but that together you can reach understanding and move on, and actually help each other from falling into these pitfalls. it did have to do with lindaland though, lol! how bizarre i dream about this place, i guess its become pretty special to me. i do know who the driver represents in lindaland terms too heh. it was a little bit prophetic but not in the way i had thought. it was good that the dream didnt end though, as actually getting to 'eminem' was not the important part, the important part was the journey and meeting the driver, and i remember in my dream actually that the driver had decided with us near the end that we should just go off somewhere and have fun, not go meet 'eminem'. we pretty much said screw him, lets go have our own fun! i dont know how i managed to forget that part but i suppose i was just focussed on and scared by the nasty stuff. i did remember that yesterday though and have been thinking about it since.

as to the other i still dont remember much of it but its pretty supportive to how i was feeling a few days ago. i cant put into terms how i felt, its pretty oblique, but i understand it myself, just dont have the words. im sorry i cant explain that one better but there wasnt much to go on anyway, i had already forgotten much of it when i posted.

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