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Author Topic:   My husband had a nightmare...need help...
JustAmanda
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From:
Registered: Jan 2003

posted January 13, 2004 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda     Edit/Delete Message
Last night Richard dreamt that I was with our daughter, Sarah who is 6 years old, and she and I were skydiving. The first time we did it, our parachutes opened. The second time we did it, mine worked but her's didn't...but she fell on the ground and bounced back up and was ok. The rescue squad came and checked her out and said she was fine....then, we did it a third time...again, my parachute opened but her's did not...

This time though she bounced, but was not ok...I was with her and was saying that she was not ok. The rescue squad was not coming and he was getting really aggravated. Then, we were in a room, waiting on the rescue people and our family was coming in...he said that Sarah could not move one of her arms and told us she coudln't feel her legs.

Then, I we were at home, and he was in bed asleep. I came out of the bathroom fully dressed except my hair was wet, and he asked me what I was doing and I informed him that they told us that Sarah would never walk again. He got all upset and was wanting to know what we were doing at home, why hadn't we gone to her and we got in the car and half way there he burst into tears...and he woke up crying and was pretty hysterical.

Now, my husband NEVER remembers his dreams..and oddly, last night I dreamt about HIM. I dreamed that he was making sexual advances towards me but I was pushing him away and refusing.

I don't know if this is tied together or not...coincedence or no?

But, I reassured him that I don't feel like his dream was a prediction...it could be, since is was powerful enough for him to remember...but it bothers me that he would dream something so horrible about our daughter, yet it was ME who put her in harms way, something I would NEVER EVER do.

Please please tell me what you think about this. I even told him I was going to post this, and for once he didn't tease or taunt me about doing it. Normally he teases me about this kind of stuff..but not this time.

Thanks

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Ra
Moderator

Posts: 2641
From:
Registered: Apr 2001

posted January 14, 2004 04:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message
Wow, there seems to be some strong emotional stuff being worked out here. I will have a good look at this tomorrow, maybe we can make some sense out of it.

A couple of quick thoughts ...

The parachute probably represents risk, or something risky. Or perhaps at times he feels that you and your daughter are "at risk", perhaps even "bailing out" on him, and that your daughter would be the one suffering the greatest harm(?).

Then there are also indications of guilt, of feeling guilty about a situation. The tears are a release of tensions, at least for his subconscious.

... back later.

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Ra
Moderator

Posts: 2641
From:
Registered: Apr 2001

posted January 16, 2004 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message
I will try to put this as simply and directly as possible, and we will see what fits and what does not.

The skydiving could represent both freedom and risk. It could be a reflection of those times in which you (Amanda) have left, or threatened to leave the marriage ... how many times? This would have "freed" you, which would have put his relationship with Sarah at risk, and would have put Sarah's own mind, her thoughts, her development, at risk. The younger she is, the more able she is to "bounce back" with relatively little damage (skydiving attempts # 1 & 2). But now she is old enough to retain damage done by such actions, her protective parachute may not open.

If this were to happen, he would feel much guilt, because he loves her so much. He would feel helpless (rescuers not coming) and his emotions paralyzed (Sarah's arm not moving/cannot feel legs).

At this point in the dream I think the meaning of Sarah changes or becomes two-fold. She still represents herself, but at the same time she also represents emotions that are created in him because of her. I mean, because she is his daughter, there is that love, that caring, that emotional connection that only a child can bring out in a parent. So, what she symbolizes are those emotions, and those emotions are not fully developed, or are being developed (as a child is undeveloped, or being developed) in him. With many men, those feelings, those emotions, are uncomfortable ... they are not "manly" ... so they become somewhat repressed or buried within - they are not fully acknowledged.

This is what the dream is indicating. He is asleep in bed - he is unaware, the emotions have been pushed into the subconscious. But there comes a point, some breaking point, when he realizes that his emotions have been paralyzed, they cannot move (Sarah cannot walk), they have been building up in his subconscious to such a point that guilt enters, and this feeling of guilt is the straw that breaks the emotional wall. The emotions are then released (burst into tears).

So basically, this dream is acting like a safety valve, or pressure release valve, if only on a subconscious level. And perhaps it is also something of a wake-up call.

Keep in mind that most of this activity is playing out on the subconscious level, so I am not sure how much of this he will be aware of. But, if I am at all correct, he will at least feel like I may be onto something.

What do you guys think?

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted January 17, 2004 12:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
I think you're unbelievable! How do you do it?

------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Ra
Moderator

Posts: 2641
From:
Registered: Apr 2001

posted January 17, 2004 04:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message
I have not done anything yet. I could be completely wrong.

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JustAmanda
Knowflake

Posts: 261
From:
Registered: Jan 2003

posted January 29, 2004 08:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda     Edit/Delete Message
I have been very sick for a week now, but as soon as I can I will put some effort forth into reading your response closer...

just didn't want you to think that your response was done in vain...

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