posted June 06, 2004 03:08 PM         

I was being driven out of town in a pick-up truck to the woods. There were two men in the truck but I don't know their names. One was a friend and one wasn't. I'll call friend, Friend and the other one Creep. We come across a few buildings on both sides of the road. Both are old and sort of falling apart like something you'd find in a small town with not many people... or horror movies. I'm not sure of the use of the one on the right but that was the one I wanted to go to. Something bad had happened there to me and I was returning to try and get evidence to put the people in jail.

As it turned out Friend worked across the street at the other place and it was a bar that he owned. It was afternoon but he wanted to get there to set up the bar for that evening. He went over to do that and turned on his jukebox so I could hear music coming from over there, too.

As soon as he was out of sight, Creep attacked me. It turned out he worked for the people that tried to get me before. I don't know why I dream about creepy little cults trying to get me so often. So I started screaming for Friend but he couldn't hear me from across the street with the music blaring and Creep knew it. We struggled in the street and I managed to get away.

I ran over to the bar. Creep caught me just outside the gate on the little porch. It turned out there was no wall in the front but a fence and small gate along the front like a porch. The whole bar was open like they'll do sometimes in warmer climates. I was lucky that Friend was right there behind the bar setting up and he saw me struggling with Creep. Friend ran out and helped me in but along came Creep, too. The two of them started fighting and wrestling on the floor. I couldn't run away because I couldn't leave Friend there.

Creep somehow got a gun and although he liked Friend quite a bit and they knew each other from living across the street, he had to kill him because he'd caught him trying to abduct me. Creep had Friend oinned on his stomach on the floor. I managed to get a gun somehow and I was standing by the gate on the fence to the outside for a better shot. I aimed for Creep's head before he could shoot Friend but my gun was empty. I tried several times to no avail.

Creep put the gun behind Friend's head but couldn't shoot him. Instead he bashed him in the back of the skull with the butt of the gun and killed him that way instead. It was gruesome and Creep was upset about it. He got up to come after me because now he also considered it MY fault that Friend was dead.

I saw him coming and I jumped up off the fence into the air outside. I managed to float just befow the tops of the trees. Ahhh the good things we can do in dreams. I don't know why I couldn't get any higher, though. Creep ran outside and was jumping to get my feet. I flew along the road but couldn't go very fast at all... it was only about a walking pace.

Suddenly I hear a familiar voice and I look down to see the ghost of Friend walking on the road next to me. He's telling me to let Creep catch me.

"They have the site ready for you. Burning is painful but it'll be over by noon and you'll be dead. When your spirit comes back to look at your charred body and ashes on the stake you'll see it was all worth it to be on this side."

He's saying we can be together and talk and that death isn't and end, etc. The road opens up and there is the cult I'd been trying to escape and they have a stake set up for me with wood piled around it. I'm so tired of running I let Creep catch my legs and pull me down. I keep hearing Friend telling me it'll only hurt for a little while but I can't see him anymore as the cult is tying me up to the stake.

posted June 07, 2004 03:32 PM         

... until later

posted June 08, 2004 05:09 AM         

I am not sure if this is from the past or present, or if it is on the surface -aware- or more deeply seated -unaware-. I suspect that elements of both apply.

posted June 08, 2004 01:36 PM         

erm... I'm not consciously giving up in to or giving up anything. I read your post several hours and thought about it a few times and there's nothing at all I can think of!

posted June 09, 2004 05:42 PM         

I've still been thinking about it and thinking about it but I just don't know!! I believe you but if I'm avoiding something it must be buried. I don't know!

posted June 12, 2004 05:09 AM         

Okay, so this is how I see it ...

The fight between Friend and Creep is an internal fight with self, a conflict between you and a masculine aspect of self, and more than likely part of an old pattern or old way of life (old buildings). It is also possible - if not probable - that this internal conflict is rooted in an experience having to do with a man. This battle is between light and dark, good and bad, right and wrong, but the line between these two opposing energies is thin and sometimes difficult to discern, it is confused - at least on an emotional level (Creep and Friend are friends, Creep shows remorse, ghost is giving "iffy" advice).

It is suggested that you are either "on the fence" about some issue, or that the material driving this dream is sitting just between subconsciousness and conscious awareness (on the fence, inside-outside). It could have something to do with misplaced accussations or feelings of guilt. Whatever it is, you do not want to face it, you wish to escape it (floating, being chased), but this is material/a situation/an issue that you cannot avoid much longer (allow yourself to be caught, wood and stake prepared.

The bright side of the story is just what ghost Friend was telling you. Burning is destructive but it is also symbolic of purification. So, whatever is behind this dream may be very difficult to face, because "buring is painful", but it doesn't last long and something within you will be healed, or as ghost Friend put it, "you'll see it was all worth it".

So ...

What are you avoiding/running from?

What is making you feel powerless at times?

Is someone, or something (perhaps a group), "pulling you down"?

What are you "wrestling" with?

posted June 14, 2004 03:26 PM         

When I changed my screen name to this I should have instead picked "TheIDontKnowGirl".

I think maybe that is why the lyrics to this one song called "Caroline" always remind my friends of me when they hear it.

caroline says
are you really sure that you know me
inever met you before, can i trust you
but she's never cautious, no, never, will she ever learn
wil she always send her dreams and poems to imaginary people
and she's tough, yes, real tough
standing right in front of the revelation
all of the big city lights may shine on her eternally
and caroline's eyes show feelings not from this world
and if some one asks her, where do you come from
she thinks for a while before she answers
i don't know, i really don't know
and she says, there's no destination on this spiral highway
i don't know, i really don't know
and she says, i can give you names but i can never give you answers

Hello, that's me.

And I've been thinking about this dream for days and your answer for days... looking and searching for something that it fits. The only thing I can really think of doesn't involve a man.

A 3 or 4 year unhealthy friendship ended recently and I DID struggle with that for quite a few months before it ended.

Actually I had a dream about her that same night that was REALLY creepy. I dreamed she was outside my apartment across the street staring at my windows with just the most evil glare. I looked out and saw her and she nodded and I knew she meant to kill me in a most unpleasant way.