posted December 08, 2004 04:02 AM         

I could be way off here, but to me the scene where you are jumping into bed and find "things underneath the covers" seems to suggest that there may be issues you are not aware of or are not acknowledging about your boyfriend and/or the relationship. Again, I could be wrong about that ... how do you feel about it?

posted December 08, 2004 04:28 AM         

The black woman represents secrets and problems that are not yet resolved as related to your mother. She is a reflection of the hidden side of the situation, or the hidden side of the relationship with mom, and also a voice of hidden guilt within self (she says, "it really isn't appropriate").

The shower/bathroom is about cleansing. It is about cleansing yourself of the secrets and guilty feelings surrounding the situation. You do not feel good about sneaking around behind mom's back, but see no other way at the moment, which is why you have difficulty "getting permission" to use the bathroom in the dream ... it is an inner conflict.

The pillars are both barriers and a safe haven. They represent the structure of the relationship. Like you said ..."It takes some struggling but finally I'm at where I want to be". While you find comfort within the pillar structure, maneuvering within it and around it can be precarious ... you have to be careful ... just like the relationship.

Make sense?

posted January 02, 2005 12:46 PM         

Thank you!

posted January 02, 2005 12:50 PM         

I was sitting in the driver seat of my (technically my parents’) car, a light blue 1988 Oldsmobile. It was parked where it usually is in our driveway.

My older brother, Travis, was to the left of me right outside the car, helping me put my contacts in. This is weird because normally one puts one’s own contacts in themselves. But this time he was trying to put ten contacts into each of my eyes, and apparently this would help me see. He got up to seven, but then he just got up and left without saying anything to me.

My mom came over and I think I asked her why he left, especially since he wasn’t done putting my contacts in (although my vision was not blurry, and I remember at one point checking that, but when I saw that my vision wasn’t blurry it wasn’t this huge thing. I was just like, “Okay.” But I’m pretty sure Travis was supposed to put 10 contacts in total.)

My mom answered me and said that he had to leave for work, but then she doesn’t understand why he couldn’t have waited a few more minutes since he works right down the road and it was about 20-25 minutes until he had to be there. I decided to go with him, and my dad decided to go with me because he said he needed to pick some things up.

So then we’re both in the car driving down Depot Road, which is a road near my house that would lead me to a specific intersection at Rte. 163 and Rte. 32. Normally there is a barber shop and kick boxing or karate lessons place there, but this time it was like a Hard Rock café, except there were no signs saying that’s what it was. I remember something about “Foxwoods” but it wasn’t the casino, even though I live near the casino.

Also, in the car, it wasn’t clear who was driving; my dad or I, but when we get there he leads me into the place. He complains about something and is walking much faster than he usually does in real life, and with more ease (less medical setbacks, I imagine).

As you walk into the place it looks like an arcade and there is a desk in a booth that is slightly elevated off the ground to the left which you have to pass and apparently give money to before entering the arcade-type area.

My dad complains about something, again, then he and I (against my own wanting) rush past the booth without paying. He grabs something and takes it with him without paying first, though. I was like, “Dad!” I couldn’t believe he did that. It wasn’t that big of a deal for him to just not pay for it. I don’t remember what it was, but it seems like French fries or a big cookie.

Then he and I rushed around the arcade, turning right gradually as we form a circle and make our way back to the desk booth area. A guard stops us and says that he has to pay for the item he is carrying, so he reluctantly goes to wait in line.

But now there is no line and we’re right in front of the person at the desk. They are wearing one of those hats that accountants or people at horse racing tracks wear.

I look to my left and there is an open doorway into what seems to be a bar/generic restaurant area, and I assume this is where Travis was working.

My dad and the man at the desk have a conversation about how Travis was staying at Foxwoods the casino and didn’t see where he was supposed to work, and someone else says, “Well, yeah, that’s the wrong Foxwoods. He’s supposed to be here.”

I was fairly apathetic about that whole conversation as I was more interested in what was going on to the left of me, inside this Hard Rock café type place.

It’s not a huge place but it looks like it gets a lot of business. The lights are dimmed, but they don’t seem to be dimmed more so than where my dad and I are standing outside the place.

There are many tables about and people are sitting at them, and while it seems that the place is packed there are still many empty chairs. I don’t see any waitresses around, or maybe one, but they’re not near me or the entrance. On the back wall I vaguely sense a bar area.

Now I notice a stage, which is facing the door, as I can see everything that is going on with that from a perfect angle. The curtain rises, which I believe was a burgundy color, and the stage is lit to be like a night out on the city.

Several women are on the stage dressed in what should be stripper clothes, but it is more gothic-black and dark red-bodice and I think a couple of them had a short frilly skirt on, like a tutu, black of course. They look like dance costumes that they won’t be stripping off during the night.

I can’t help but watch them as they begin to dance, not erotically but definitely not in a way that would seem appropriate, at least for me to be watching as I’m a minor. I look away and think, “I’m straight; I’m not attracted to these women,” but at the same time my glance makes its way over to the stage again. There are a total of four women, or possibly three.

The one in the middle has the outfit which I described: mostly black but with some dark red and she is wearing a bodice and has a skirt like a tutu, and black fish net tights; like a dance costume. She has red frizzy hair, and is wearing fairly heavy make-up such as with her eyeliner and mascara, but it looks good and not overdone, as she’s on stage.

I look into her eyes and she looks back into my own. I felt like I made a connection with her, although I can’t describe how or why or what was really going on. I was captivated by the performance of the women, though, but I think I mainly averted my eyes occasionally because my dad was there with me. Otherwise I would’ve watched fully, as I wanted to.

posted January 16, 2005 03:03 PM         

This dream begins by suggesting that you are close to walking your own path, that you are gaining more control over your life's course (sitting in driver's seat in driveway), but that you are still beneath your parent's wings (parent's car/driveway). This is suggested again when you are not clear whether you or your dad is driving.

I am not sure about your brother's presence in the dream. It feels as if you look up to him to some degree, perhaps because he is older and has gained a bit more independence, more of his own life, but there is something about him or his life that is confused and incomplete (from your perspective). It is as if you wish to mature, grow a bit older as he has, but that he may not be on the right path somehow. Does that make any sense?

Whatever the case, the first part of the dream is about you growing up, looking for guidance, and finding your own way.

The second part of the dream, beginning with the women appearing on stage, is also about growing up.

This part of the dream reflects your developing sexuality and the division (psychological) which is occurring with your parents as you mature. Both three and four (number of women) are numbers which can indicate the process of individuation (self-development), and your father's presence indicates that this development is pushing you to explore your boundaries, psychological boundaries instilled in you by your parents. So, the dream is not necessarily suggesting that you are attracted to women, but that you are curious about this aspect of femininity within yourself ... and you are not feeling guilty about looking at the women, it is your father's witnessing, his presence, which brings the guilt because he represents the sexual barriers/boundaries that you are growing out of. Very natural, to be sure.

If the overtones are truly homosexual, as you said, this usually indicates that there is some feminine aspect that you need to incorporate. In other words, that which you are attracted to in the women is something you need in yourself. Make sense?

What do you think?

posted January 16, 2005 03:12 PM         

As for the second part, I didn't think to look at it that way. Not that I was worried I was gay because of the dreams, but needless to say I was a little confused. So - Thank you!