posted August 16, 2004 06:08 AM         

First it started out in my hometown in the shopping center, there was going to be a race. There were a lot of people in the race, all wearing different pairs of strange sneakers. Some people were running but there was a person in front of me, my ex's best friend, in the back seat of a car. I saw his shoes, and he saw mine, and I knew I didn't have the ''special'' shoes, so I didn't have to run the race. There was a pair of shoes that were predetermined that who was wearing them would win. I ran up a hill, finding it surprising that I didn't feel out of breath, then kept running down the road until I got to a small bar. Inside was my bf's mate, (whom I rarely get along with), and he asked if I was going to keep running. I said no, and everyone seemed to think I had run far enough. The next part was me going to the movie theatre to change out of my racing clothes. I went in, changed in the foyer, then realized I didn't need to be there. I didin't have any way of leaving because I didn't have a ride. I walked out back to where there was a small trailer. The kind that would be used as an office on a constructions site. Inside, suddenly it went from me being able to see myself, to being from my point of view. There had been a murder, and there was a detective questioning the boss (who looked like Sigourney Weaver), and the vice president (who looked like Keifer Sutherland.) But I knew the vice president, I had gone to school with him, and I wanted to be with him, and didn't want him to get arrested. When the detective left the room, the boss came into the vice's room with a gun pointed at him. I was so scared she was going to shoot him, but she said ''The gun, it isn't loaded.'' then went over to a drawer and emptied it. She then took a bottle of pills out of her purse, and gave them to him. He stuck them in an opened mail envelope, and tried to conceal them when the detective came back. He saw them, and arrested the two on the spot. We were outside, and he was being handcuffed. I was so upset that he had something to do with the murder, but knew I had to take care of his daughter, so told him he should be out in about 5 years, so it was okay. Then I drove off to work in a restaurant. My sister was there, and she was working too. She was really mad at me about something, but wouldn't tell me what. So I started asking her what, annoying her with questions. She began yelling that I was irresponsible and took advantage of her and our mum, and it wasn't fair how much people did for me, when she has two children and so on. I got mad at her, and began running this program that Paras set up for us to install mIRC. I hadn't seen it until this morning, but it was in my dream last night, almost exactly as the program actually looks. Then I woke up.

Really strange.... I had a few thoughts, but I wanted to get it all down before I forget it. I'll be back in a bit to say what I think some bits may be related to.

posted August 16, 2004 09:58 AM         

interesting........

posted August 18, 2004 05:53 AM         

The part where I stop in the bar, and everyone around me seems to think I've ''run far enough'', seems slightly literal, as I've jumped all over the world for the past 5 years, escaping when things get too hard. Maybe I'm telling myself it's time to stop running?

I can't figure out the part about the ''special shoes'', or what my exes friend driving away just out of reach means, again, that could be literal.

Then going into the theatre to ''change'', out in the open, but realizing I don't need to be there, and not having any way to leave. Perhaps this ''change'' will leave me stuck, or restricted? As it then changes to me wanting to be with someone who is going to prison, and taking responsibility for his daughter... for 5 years. That's how long my studies will be once I start them. Maybe I feel ''stuck'' with what I'm doing? Even though I'm saying it's okay?

The part with my sister at the restaurant seems more like my fears, than what she actually feels in reality. One of the reasons I've decided to stay over here and study, is because I don't want to burden my mother, or anyone else. I want to do things on my own, and not rely on them. But then instead of paying attention to what she's saying, I start downloading a chat program... escapism? I'm not quite sure what the signifigance of me knowing what it looked like before seeing it is.... just a little ''psychic'' dream?

posted August 25, 2004 09:08 PM         

The race is life, or rather how you feel about life. At this time, or very recently, you feel like you are running and yet not quite able to grasp what you desire ... and you are not even sure what that is. For some reason you do not feel 'special' enough, like you were just not meant to do what you are, or were, doing (only special shoes destined to win) - a self esteem/confidence issue of some sort. This gives you reason to depart the "race", which your dream suggests is the right thing to do at the moment (running uphill with ease) - taking a new path.

At this point I notice that your interactions are with good friends of your ex and your boyfriend - why? Why their friends and not themselves? I think this suggests that you are not generally satisfied with your primary relationships, always looking ... the grass is always greener, you know?

Changing in the foyer of the movie theater suggests that you may be distancing or protecting yourself from experiencing certain aspects of your life, that you may be unsure about leaving the "race", that you are on your own (no ride). It seems as if your subconscious is telling you that you no longer need to run, to escape, to change in this way but this leaves you feeling stuck.

The trailer out back represents an area of your subconscious where the "constructing" energies for this situation reside. Your point of view changes to your own eyes because you are looking within yourself, focusing in on the energies at work. A part of you, of your life, has ended (murder) and you are examining the reasons (detective). The boss and vice-president represent the two most important aspects of your dilemma - issues involving self-confidence and dependency (boss), and issues involving school (vice-president). Your need for self-reliance is psychological, rooted in experiences from your childhood, and feels like a gun pointed at your head ... but your dream is telling you the threat of dependency exists only in your mind - the reality of it is qutie different ... "The gun, it isn't loaded". Your subconscious is imparting a message (mail envelope) about this, but I am not quite certain how to interpret the pills ... what kind of pills were they? Can you tell me more about his scene?

Out of time ... I'll try to finish in the morning.

posted August 26, 2004 05:17 AM         

You are right about the five years and your studies. You are conflicted about this issue. On the one hand you want to pursue your studies, but on the other you feel stuck in doing it, or you fear becoming stuck and dependent because of it. This is what the daughter is about - on the one hand she represents a new beginning, new growth ... but on the other she represents dependency issues and responsibility, the things you want to avoid.

You are right about the restaurant scene as well. These are your fears, just as spelled out in the previous portions of the dream - and you want to escape them. I have a feeling that the chat program and the mail envelope are connected symbolically as they both have to do with a message/communication, but I'll have to wait for your answer about the pills before I can determine what it is ... perhaps it is simply about 'escapism'.

This dream is really asking you to take a deep look at yourself - your inner self - to determine what the root of your confliction is really about, from where it originates, so that you can have peace of mind.

What do you think?

posted August 26, 2004 06:10 AM         

About the pills, they were what was used to commit the murder, they were syanide, or some other sort of poison. The boss seemed to be the murderer, but the vice-president was pulled into it and was a co-conspirator.

Does that help?

Thanks again! I'm looking forward to your reply!