Posts: 82
From: orlando,florida,usa
Registered: Feb 2004

posted April 24, 2005 03:11 PM         

---

Before I went to sleep I heard a man call my name. He sounded older. Then right when I went to sleep
I saw myself in a school portable in a classroom all alone talking to an old soldier from war. I think I
knew him from somewhere. He had a grey and white beard and was in his late 40s or 50s early.He was listening to me,
and asking about my father and I. I told him my plans for my future about I will go back to school when
i can afford it instead of running up more bills. He said wize decision. I think I some how know this
man. And i told him my dad wasout of the navy and around alot he has been for years. the carpet was
brown and he was in an old soldier looking uniform kind of he was itting on the desk. At first he startled
me then after that we spoke freely.His out fit was dark blue pants and a shirt. he wasnt a soldier in the marines or army I think he was from way back. he had kept mentioning the navy

------------------

IP: Logged

Posts: 3995
From:
Registered: Apr 2001

posted April 29, 2005 04:10 AM         

---

Hello AAG

This dream is steeped in several layers of symbolism, and I feel like I could go on writing about it all night as it tells so much, but I'm going to try and keep it relatively simple for now, for time's sake.

This dream is about testing and learning (school), and suggests that you are working with energies that you have brought with you from your past (portable), energies which are at the root of your internal conflict (soldier of war). You grew up with a lack of male guidance, or perhaps the wrong type of male guidance ... and it could be suggested that this lack of proper male guidance is a generational pattern (old soldier/"he was from way back").

The heart of this dream revolves around the old soldier. He is familiar because he represents your father, in part ... but he is much more than that. He is the Wise Old Man archetype, representing the wisdom and strength you have been searching for, that you need. He is a guide, he is kind, he listens ... he is what your own father was not. In addition, he also represents that which you are looking for in a mate.

And even more than that, he represents the barrier, the psychological block which you are courageously attempting to overcome ("first he startled me then after that we spoke freely). And this internal confliction, the psychological block, has everything to do with your childhood and your father.

This dream reflects the connection you have made with your inner self and the healing you are ready to undertake.

IP: Logged

Posts: 82
From: orlando,florida,usa
Registered: Feb 2004

posted April 29, 2005 12:00 PM         

---

its true all of it see two nights ago I had enough of my mother attacking me blaming me for everything wrong inmy life. Her family and my fathers were abusive to them I had enough and was so stresed from all of it i broke downn and told her she never loved me sshe told my father to beat me i felt unloved. And my father and her after all thatexpected me to forget that i depended on them as my safety and i couldnt even trust them.To defend or not attack me. I am trying so hard to over come the abuse from them and from others'even now i have to hear how im too fat or uglly from my mother
who i know loves me but acts so horribly to wards me.

IP: Logged

Posts: 82
From: orlando,florida,usa
Registered: Feb 2004

posted April 29, 2005 12:04 PM         

---

for years i thought it was my faullt my mother threatening my father divorce and my father blaming me i raised my sister and brother at 9 and went to schoool making honor roll but that was never good enough for my father. He wanted straight as i was asked from making relationship mistakes with bad men why do i hate myself i did yes
but i woke up its so easy to blame th kids its not the kids fault they never asked to be brought into that situation im trying hard to be close tom y mom and sis she says she loves me som uch i even defended her from my father when he attackede her i had to atttack my own father see ever since this ive had problems with men or trusting them.

IP: Logged

Posts: 8006
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted April 29, 2005 12:23 PM         

---

"its so easy to blame the kids"

I am sad that this statement is true.
But it is only illusion.*when you strip the emotion away.. hard to do*
The adult should take the blame, they are the learned ones.. if there indeed is any blame to take.
There really isn't.
Situations and childhood circumstances really do set you up for your lifetime... the way you love and want to be loved.. the eternal searching. Your sense of worth and desire.
Your emotional skills are a direct reflection.... but.....
Emotion is something that is changeable... The base is there to expand on.
I think it comes down to forgiveness. Not to your parents.. but to yourself. It extends afterwards... the forgiveness touches bits of it all.. and still there are those parts who are too damaged to heal completely.. and that makes your character warmer.. it makes you feel empathy and feel love and it in turn helps others heal.
So good comes from it.
The world is so very imperfect. But the fact that you can identify the parts that hurt, means it is a platform you can catapault from.. and that means good things in the future.
to you and a huge whispering hug to your inner child.
*and some for your parents too. I'm sorry they just didn't know how to separate themselves from the blame game. It is never YOUR fault. The fault can't be owned because it doesn't truly exist.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3995
From:
Registered: Apr 2001

posted April 29, 2005 01:43 PM         

---

IP: Logged

Posts: 484
From: ohio
Registered: Mar 2005

posted April 29, 2005 02:56 PM         

---

I totally understand! I too have been through much of the same. Abuse is not easy to move past, especially if it started when we were young and as adults those people still want to keep on hurting us. Keep talking ok? It does help!

IP: Logged