posted November 17, 2005 09:02 AM         

I was driving somewhere with May. Actually - someone else was driving but I didn't see his face - just that he had dark hair - May was in the passenger seat and I was in the back seat just chilling out. Now, in this dream I was really really attractive. I had this perfect killer body and damn... why was I only dreaming?! *shakes fist*

this guy drove up next to us in a crap car but it was written all over that he was selling it for $100,000. I said "Look May that guy is on crack!"

We stopped at a light and he looked over and got out of his car and was hovering by my window. I rolled it down to see what he wanted. He seemed like he really was on drugs but he was just insane. He was talking really fast and saying something about he wanted me to throw up on him and then go down on him at the same time.

I smiled politely and closed the window - told the driver to keep going - quick.

We found a part of town that was like New Orleans (at Mardi Gras) meets Las Vegas. There were so many people partying and so many clubs to go to. May and I got out. My hair was blue and I was wearing shiny pvc platform boots with matching hotshorts, fishnets and a matching tube top like thing. I was half naked really but my body was rockin'. *shakes fist at dream*

So we go into one place and we're mingling and having a good time. We sit at a table with some drinks and May says "Hey isn't the guy behind you from the car outside?"

I looked and sure enough, it was, he was following us. May freaked all out and took me upstairs but there wasn't anything going on up there so finally I was like "May, **** that guy! I don't care if he's downstairs. I'll kick his ass if he bothers us."

So we walked downstairs, admiring each other's outfits. May was in perfect shape too and she was happy because she got to buy new vinyl outfits.

Once downstairs the guy did leave us alone and at one point we went in the bathroom to do our makeup. Some goth chick came in when I was doing mine and started yelling at me. Apparently she had hated me for a long time. She had a cigarette and tried to mush it into my back to burn me but I turned around, grabbed it from her, and put it in her hair - setting most of her hair on fire before i was nice enough to put it out.

"Don't try that again, ***** !" I said, "Or next time I'll kick your ASS! Fair warning."

May and I went back out into the club which had mostly changed into a bookshop. I was all excited because Alphaville's new book "Forever Young II" was coming out and they were selling a big section of them! It was $70 for even the softcover one. I picked it up and went to the counter. There were two guys there at the register and when I handed the book over I had to tell them my name because they were asking for everyone's but I didn't know why.

I gave mine to them (but it wasn't my waking name, btw) and the man near the register looked at the otherone. "That's her -that's her."

I was all confused but the man at the register checked a notepad or something and said "Well yes it is. Wow."

The other man said "He's been waiting for you since last time you met."

I said "What? WHO?"

And he pointed up to a loft in the bookstore where there was a massive stage. Marian was there practicing with the live band and I hadn't seen them up there before. Just then they started to do "All In the Golden Afternoon."

"All in the golden afternoon full leisurely we glide
For both our oars, with little skill
By little arms are plied
While little hands make vain pretence
Our wanderings to guide
Ah, cruel three!
In such an hour beneath such dreamy wheather
To beg a tale of breath too weak
To stir the tiniest feather
And what can one poor voice avail
Against three tongues together

Anon, to sudden silence won, in fancy they persue
The dream child moving through a land of wonders
Wild and new
In friendly chat with bird or beast
And half believe it true
And ever as the story drained
The walls of fancy dry and faintly strove
That weary one to put the subject by the next time
It is next time the happy voices cry
Thus grew the tale of wonderland
Thus slowly one by one
It's quaint events were hammered out
And now the tale is done and home we steer
A merry crew
Beneath the setting sun"

I asked the guy "Why was he looking for me?"

and he said "So you can sing with him."

and I said "pffft yeah right i can't sing anywhere near like that. He's confused."

The guy seemed amused that I'd think that Marian was confused and he shook his head, "No, he's not confused. He knows."

I watched the song going on onstage and it got louder and louder until it wasn't just coming from the stage but from everywhere and all around and in my own head! Then Marian looked down off the stage and smiled at me because somehow he knew it was in my head and approved. And when he smiled my little heart went "AHHHHHHHHHHH LUFF HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!"

posted December 02, 2005 01:58 PM         

Someone around you, someone with "dark hair", is more in control of where your life is going than you are (someone else driving).

Someone is rather delusional about the value he puts upon his way of life or the quality of himself/his life. This person is clueless about, or oblivious to, the thoughts of others or yourself. This is not something you care to be a part of (close window) ... but I think there is more to that simple sentence. "I smiled politely and closed the window - told the driver to keep going - quick."

I think the crazy guy and the driver are representations of the same person which could mean that, in waking life, you want no part of the guy, and yet you still allow him to "drive" your life to some extent.

Even when you find a reprieve, a break from the everyday concerns of life (clubs/partying), he is there, at least in your mind, lurking. Part of him you accept, part of him you do not.

And this is true of yourself as well, which is the meaning behind the gothic chick in the bathroom. She is that aspect of yourself that you do not like, that you are in confliction with. She represents the internalized confliction, the frustration, you are experiencing concerning concerning your relationship with the guy, and your life path.

Enter Marian, the symbolic (?) saviour. The last part of the dream shifts into a "higher" gear, with "higher" ideals (Marian in loft), rising above the mental and emotional murkiness of your "lower" world. It's no coincidence that the book costs $70, as 7 is the number of perfection, of completion, and of spiritual energies. You long for that feeling, to "sing" freely, to be desired.

How does this sound? Make any sense?

posted December 02, 2005 11:55 PM         

Yes, naturally it makes sense.

And funny (or maybe funny isn't the right word because it's not funny but maybe interesting instead) that as of Tuesday I find myself at a crossroads. I think that in the next couple weeks or month if this person isn't kicked out of things for good then it might never happen. I very nearly have my chance.

Which is exciting and very frightening and a mix of boiling emotions I didn't even know where there. We'll see what happens.

posted December 03, 2005 02:36 AM         

Another song ... how do you feel about that?

posted December 03, 2005 09:38 PM         

Another song - I don't know. Too much for me. I need to straighten out everything else first before even considering anything else.

posted December 05, 2005 09:21 PM         

I find dreams very interesting. Many of our songs tell about my relationship
with dreams and what they can do.

Just to name a few:

there's a song about a little girl that got somehow lost on a boat trip on
July the 4th

another one is about the death of a beloved hero of mine

then there's one about a lady who only by her dreams gouverns you like a
puppet on a string

then there's one, which deals (amongst other things) with the fact that you
shouldn't always believe in of what you're dreaming of

then one about a multitalented ***** with a musical device in her soul

one about a song that was heaven-sent

one about a sunrise at night and the tears of a clown

one about the time when we have dreamt for much too long and the phoenix
really should fly at last

one about the painful difficulties to find some sleep in the company of
ghosts

one about fairytale-characters, the worries of a parent and the return of an
enigmatic singer

one about that fulfillments of a dreams are not always eligible

one about an entity that is a relativly reliable companion in a no man's
land

one about a strange voyage across the rooftops of one's mind

one about a murderer who preferably kills people on interesting missions in
his dreams

one about the three colours of the moon

I rarely dream of people I know which means that I get many new
acquaintances while I am sleeping.
And my favourite dreams are always the ones where I am flying.