posted June 21, 2006 03:12 PM
Last night I had a dream and wasn't quite sure where it took place. By that I mean- it didn't seem to be in this "plane".
In the dream I was walking towards a building - almost like a school building. I had to take a class to prepare for something, but I wasn't quite sure. Everyone seemed a bit confused, but it wasn't anything new - meaning it was like the first day of school - yet we were adults of different ages.
I don't know how old I was but I think it was in the far future. I sat at my desk with my supplies, said Hi to other people and watched at the room filled up. The room wasn't anything special with the exception that there was a low murmur around us.
There is a bit missing to the dream- the instruction didn't seem to really take places, but we were then excused to go work in groups.
A very handsome man came up to me. He smiled and seemed so familiar. Sparkling blue eyes, full lips, hair that seemed a bit gray.. he looked to be in his late 40's or so. I felt comfortable with him and I wondered why he was reaching out to me because I had the vague sense that I was married but he wasn't with me at the time.
He said 'You don't remember yet do you? It's okay, it will take some time getting used to it, but I'm here okay".
I laughed and said "You are pretty forward aren't you? For some reason I think you are flirting with me"
He chuckled and said "well, yes I am and you may just fall in love with me ya know?"
Time went on and I noticed that when I looked outside a dense fog started to roll in and I kept trying to see the trees, but it was too hard. The man came up to me again and said "That happens as well, come with me, it's time for the group break out activities, you'll be my partner - like before".
I was confused and starting to get a bit worried about where I was.. I said 'You don't know if you are going to be my partner I could be paired up with anyone'
He laughed... and handed me a slip with my name on it - my married name.
I said "Hey, I'm married and you are hitting on me"
He smiled, but he got a bit choked up and said "Yes, you were... it's different here, it's okay" I thought he meant that I was dreaming- because I realized at that point I was dreaming..
I dropped my books and he helped me pick them up - then he leaned in and kissed me. Passionately, tenderly and so very familiar. I looked at him and in an instant I saw flashes of my relationship - the first meeting, our wedding, our life together and incredible sadness...
I smiled, with tears in my eyes and said "Just like that first night you kissed me.. Do you remember that? You leaned in, cupped my face and planted one on me - then you said "Oh..did I just do that".
He was so happy... happy that I was remembering. He said "the process is different, but you'll remember" I asked him when his birthdate was because I thought I knew who he really was - my Bear, my soon-to-be-husband, and he said 'it was just within the last 3 days'. I said, then you're a Cancer or Gemini.. Not a Leo..
He laughed and said "No honey, it's not the 'real' date here... my birthday is the same as it always is.. August 15th."
Then we went to the activity table and I said "let's just you and I go off.. we can kiss like we did when we were young". Then the coordinator said "You only have a few mintues left to finish the puzzle"
I looked at mine.. It was a puzzle that formed a picture with 6 beautiful white tulips, violet little flowers - like babies breath - green leaves and two lemon halves.
I wanted to see the back.. but he said "no, not yet" We kissed again.. he smelled so good.. He started to sing a song to me- a country one from the CD he had made me after we first met. He sang so beautifully and I said " I don't remember you having such a beautiful voice- it's like velvet"...
Then I woke up.
As I wrote this... I started to get really choked up- because it seemed to make sense.. I was dreaming of the future or potential future with my Fiance / husband. But, I was in the "in between" area- in my dream he had passed before me but he waited for me- he was there to help me. He was so patient in letting me remember..
So this is the saddest part. In the dream I don't know how old I was- but I wasn't young. He was in his late 40's. I wonder...