posted December 02, 2006 11:30 AM         

I have a -maybe- srange question.
What does it mean, if someone writes a letter to you in a dream?
I dreamed of someone last night, and the whole content of that dream was the letter he wrote and read to me. A very long letter actually; and I`m quite a bit shaken by its content.

Also, Ra, in another thread you said that losing weight somehow emotionally transports a person back to the time, she gained that weight. That makes absolutely sense. I think this is what is happening right now. Going back in time and at the same time moving forwards, which is very exhausting at times.

posted December 02, 2006 01:54 PM         

The dream could suggest unacknowledged feelings about this person or situation, or something about this person/situation and his relationsip with you that you do not yet realize. Basically, the letter is a message from your subconscious, or a message from the shared unconscious between the two of you. It is difficult for me to say whether he is actually involved, or if he is a reflection/characteristic of something completely internal and personal.

What do you think?

posted December 03, 2006 05:00 AM         

You`re really good at this.

"The dream could suggest unacknowledged feelings about this person or situation, or something about this person/situation and his relationsip with you that you do not yet realize."
*deep sigh* I`ve been afraid you`d say this. Unacknowledged feelings, hm?
Well, actually there is no relationship.
It`s this gay musical-singer I`ve been writing about earlier this year. He`s been "falling" into my life 14 years ago, and somehow didn`t really disappear again. Just from a distance of course. But the complicated thing is, that we always "almost" meet. It almost seems like we`re connected on a level I don`t understand. But I`ve always had my feelings and thoughts under control, trying to not let him get "under my skin". *sighs* and yes, shortly after I saw him for the first time and I realized, that he was gay, I started gaining all this weight.
I`ve seen him on wednesday in a concert. And this was more complicated than all concerts before, because I somehow ended up in 1st row (didn`t want to sit there, but there was a mistake with the booking, so they offered me a different place, first row, of course, where else?) and there were no dazzling lights, since it was a small concerthall in a small village. Almost the usual light in a room, so not so easy to hide away.
And I don`t know why, maybe I`ve been more open on that day than ever before, but he clearly "got under my skin", unreasonable, stupid, I know, but it was that way. And of course I know that he didn`t "notice" me, but there were those moments, and one of those moments unsettled me greatly, I think. It was during a song, he was sitting on stage, looking into the audience. I actually had been looking to another singer on stage (I can bear only so much intensity, and he is much too intense for me), but suddenly felt uneasy. And when I turned my head I saw, that he was looking at me. He really was. I don`t know how to explain this, but if someone looks at you and sees you, you can feel that look inside (I`m talking about every kind of look, in the ordinary life; when a stranger looks at you on the street and he really notices you, you can feel it deep down in your entrails; at least that`s how I feel it). So, I knew that he was really looking at me. But the scary thing was, once he had caught my gaze, I couldn`t look away. I simply couldn`t. I was embarassed to stare at him like this, but on the other hand, I was audience, I was supposed to stare. He wasn`t.
It was just a minor incident, but the cause of much inner turmoil for me. Add the feeling of vibrating inwardly all the time and you know what i was feeling. These vibrations, I only feel them, when I see him. It`s very strange, almost feels like he infuses me with energy. I don`t really know how to explain this or how to deal with this.
But I guess I react quite strongly to him.
All those coincidences that make us always "almost" meet, don`t help to stay down to earth either. I feel so strongly connected to him, but this can`t be, can it?

So, I guess, that was the reason I dreamed about that letter. But I was surprised, that HE wrote me a letter. Shouldn`t I have done the writing?
Basically the letter said that seeing me had confused him, that he had felt something and that this is the reason that he can never see me again.

It`s all too strange. And believe me I tried to stay away from him; I even turned my back on my beloved musicals, so I wouldn`t encounter him.
But coincidences happen all the time, like he coming into my town producing his cd here (well, we didn`t meet, but he almost run me over with his car. lol). My brother considers moving to the city where he is living (my brother doesn`t know anything about him or my complicated feelings).
My friends persuading me to visit a certain concert (during the time I didn`t like musicals) and he has been there, as a substitute for another singer that had become sick.
I could go on with those coincidences.
And slowly I wonder, does God hate me? Or is it such a fun to see me struggling for inner balance?

Sorry, for the ranting. But I had to get this from my chest. I`m really confused about it all.

posted December 05, 2006 02:13 PM         

I do not know exactly what is going on, but I do know that you are not crazy, and there is a reason for these things. I am very much inclined to believe there is past-life influence at work, don't you think? And there may be childhood issues to contend with as well.

I'll get back to you just as soon as I can.