posted December 08, 2006 01:12 PM         

It’s been a long time, ha? The last few months haven’t been very productive dreamwise… You remember those dreams about chases I used to have? (http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum15/HTML/001508.html) They stopped all together… Until last night… It wasn’t exactly a chase but there was an evil creature disturbing me…

The theme has changed but is still connected… I hope you can see something meaningful behind it…

This time I went to sleep… I don’t remember much of it… It was a dark silent place, somehow old and decadent… There was someone with me, a friend or a lover I felt safe with… So I felt asleep.

Then something started to poke and poke in my back… Gently but persistently… I slowly went back to conscience… Cold small feet rubbing against me… That strange gargling… My friend was sleeping unaware in front of me while that creature stole my warmth… I held on to him… I tried to ignore it, still half conscious, hoping it’d go away…

Cold small feet, cold small feet, each time more daring… That disgusting old creature, a consumed dry and freezing cold bag of bones was coming closer and closer, sucking my life force, making me tremble of fear and physical cold… My friend was not there anymore…

I could not face her… I just kept my back to her curling up seized by that silent terror, pretending not to notice, to be asleep… Telling myself “Wake up, wake up!! Don’t worry, darling… This is not real… Wake up! It’s just a dream… Just concentrate, open your eyes and she’ll be gone…”.

And I woke up… I was very rigid, my muscles were in tension. I was cold. In the same posture I had in my dream. The room was dark and silent, like in my dream. One of my pillows was stuck against my back…

posted December 13, 2006 12:47 PM         

A dream, this was not. I get the feeling you are contending with an astral vampire, for lack of a better term. Some entity is, as you said yourself, "sucking my life force", "stealing my warmth". What, or who, this entity is, I do not know. You refer to it as "she" ... is there a female in your life that is doing this? Is someone draining you? (unconsciously, more than likely)

If this does not seem to represent anyone you know, then you could be dealing with an aspect of self. You describe it as "That disgusting old creature, a consumed dry and freezing cold bag of bones was coming closer and closer ... " This could symbolize an unacknowledged and/or suppressed issue/situation/aspect from your past which is beginning to become more conscious, something which has been emotionally "frozen" for some time, but haunts you still.

So, is this a "demon" from the present, or from your past?

What do you think?

posted February 03, 2007 03:33 PM         

Sorry for taking soooooooooooo long in replying... I've been thinking about what you asked me unable to find a clear answer.
I'm confused about it.

A female vampire... My mother? Any of my aunties? Maybe... I'm trying hard to set my new rules, to invent my world, to define my life and my reality as I want them to be, not as they want them.
I suppose all my female roles are wrong. I don't want to be anything like they are or have been. But I still belive the creepy creature must be some kind of stagnant energy I have trapped inside...

It's still happening. I tell you a new dream I had just last night (see http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum15/HTML/001676.html ).

I'm starting to get worried because I don't know what else to do to get rid of those nightmares. Cromotherapy sessions are doing wonders to my bashed selfseem. I feel as if I'm winning the battle, becoming a new woman, the one I always wanted to be. Happier, fuller, sweeter, more secure and beautiful... But the nightmares still come back...

Do you think this is something to do with my family? My family is always in them... Usually in the past, when I was younger, 10 to 15 years ago... I believe it is a demon from the past... When I felt unprotected, insecure, unloved, inappropriate and vulnerable...