posted May 29, 2007 06:30 AM         

The thing is, for some time now strange things have been happening; starting with dreams, but now kind of reaching into my waking life, and I`m completely confused.

The thing is, as I said, I started having strange dreams. Not the usual kind of dreams, but dreams or images, scenes that surface in the time between being asleep and slowly awake.
And what I see is nothing consistent, but only shreds, fragments of scenes. It feels like those scenes go very far back in time, but I do not really know into which time or into which country.

HOwever, at first I see a circle of people, and then - it`s like I kind of "zoom" in there- I can see what is in the middle of this circle. It varies, what I see there. Sometimes there are only stones like an altar, like a stonecircle, one of those you would probably find in Ireland (at least it reminds me of the one I had seen there), sometimes it`s more like a huge bed. But there are always two persons, a man and a woman, dressed in ritual robes. I can`t remember it very clearly, but I think the man was wearing a long white robe with golden lining; the woman also was dressed in a ritual robe. In that dream I kind of felt they were highpriest and highpriestess, and while I am trying to see them clearer, I “become” the woman.
And well, there are words spoken, that I can`t understand, but then the other people in the circle go a bit away, but still keep the circle intact, just in a certain distance, and the highpriest and the highpriestess, well, bluntly put, they have sexual intercourse. And when I awoke from that dream, I suddenly had the words "sacred marriage" in my mind.

What could that mean? And if the dream cannot be interpreted, what is a "sacred marriage"? And what does it have to do with me?

EDIT: Yesteerday, after I posted that dream here, I got an email from a friend. I never told her about that dream, but yesterday she wrote to me that she had a vision about me and this guy. She said the vision she saw, seemed to have taken place long time ago, in the age of the Druids, and she saw me and this guy dressed in long white robes standing outside, under an oak-tree. But I looked different than i do today (she said I was having long straight darkbrown hair, with leafs braided into). And I was giving a chalice to this man. Ah yes, and it was spring or summer.
She was actually describing the dream I had! I only think she was describing the beginning of that dream, whereas I remembered what happened afterwards.
That is rather scary, isn`t it?

So, Ra, I really need your help. What is going on? What is happening to me?

DD

posted May 31, 2007 04:53 AM         

First, let me apologize for letting your last dream post, from November, slip by. I actually read them again a couple of weeks ago when I re-discovered them in the papers I carry around every day. I certainly did not intend to skip them.

We are not going to let this one get by.

The partially awake-asleep state that you describe is called the hypnopompic (if you are waking up) or hypnogogic (if you are falling asleep) state, which is especially conducive to the fragments and shreds of dreams and memories that you have been experiencing.

The surface symbolism to what you have described could indicate transitional energies at work in your life, as well as a deepening connection with aspects of your unconscious mind and with natural/cosmic energies.

A "sacred marriage" seems to suggest a divinely ordained union of some kind, perhaps of opposing aspects of self, the merging or union of your masculine and feminine sides, or maybe a push by your higher self to bridge the gap between the unconscious (feminine) and conscious awareness (masculine). When this happens, all sorts of "strange things" can manifest.

Now, in my opinion, beneath this surface symbolism, and indeed entagled with it, lies another possibility. I feel like this scene is a past-life memory. How does that strike you?

What do you think? And, if you care to elaborate, I would be interested in how those "dreams" and "strange things" have been reaching into your waking life.

posted June 01, 2007 04:50 PM         

thank you for this video. It was very beautiful.

Hello Ra,

well, regarding the last dream I had, the one with the letter; I have the feeling it was supposed to be let slipped by. In a way it was a farewell-dream. After that dream I cut some emotional ties to the past. There was nothing to be DONE, but I`ve found some emotional closure, which feels very good btw.

"when I re-discovered them in the papers I carry around every day."
You carry our dreams around?
I feel very flattered now.

"could indicate transitional energies at work in your life, as well as a deepening connection with aspects of your unconscious mind and with natural/cosmic energies."
Yes, I think you`re right. Even though I haven`t had a relationship, well, I`ve never had a real relationship to be honest (and yes, that means I have been living in celibacy all my life ), I felt emotionally tied to a certain person.
And it was time to let him go. It`s not that I had never tried before, but I felt for the very first time that it really worked. Well, maybe I didn`t let go of the person so much, but of old dreams, ideas, feelings, memories. That has happened some time ago, several months ago, and then I felt like I was living in a spiritual void. Or no, that is not entirely right, I was just focused on myself, maybe for the very first time in my life. Alone with myself.

Maybe I must explain that even more.
I have always been a strange and very imaginative person, even as a child. Very strange actually. I am the eldest child of my parents and when I was a child, I would upset my mum greatly with my fits of anger and sadness; because I constantly would ask her where my twin was. I was so convinced I was only one part of a whole, even as a very little child; I even accused my mother of having given away my twin, and that I wanted to have him back. Crazy little child I was. The curious thing is that my mother even had expected of having twins, because her grandmother had twins, and it`s said that one generation after the next there would be another couple of twins. However, no twins in my near family. I don`t know why I was so obsessed with having a twin as a child. My parents were wonderful; they loved me, cared for me, protected me, played with me, there was ntohing I could miss. And yet I just could feel something was missing from my life, or not even life, but from my very being. Maybe I tried to fill that void inside by starting to eat uncontrollably or even filling it with dreams or ideas. I just thought I couldn`t bear it.
However, it has been just last year, that I really faced that feeling of "missing"; I faced this feeling that I am only "one" and kind of learned to live with it. I never really allowed myself to feel that emptiness before, because I just couldn`t take it. Or I thought I could not take it, I would go insane. But after a certain while, even while feeling a real "soulache", I started feeling very calm, and somehow, out of the nowwhere, I started to have faith again. I didn`t understand why I have to feel this way (others seem to be so content with their lives; and for me it`s never enough), but I kind of accepted that this is who I am and apparently this is a part of my way in life; but that feeling wasn`t so much depression or resignation, it actually brought me some kind of serenity and peace. It`s not easy to explain. But yes, I think, this is / was definitely a time of transition.

" feel like this scene is a past-life memory. How does that strike you?"
Yes. Simple as that. I think it really may be a past life memory.

"nd, if you care to elaborate, I would be interested in how those "dreams" and "strange things" have been reaching into your waking"
*Sighs* I feared you would ask that.
But, yes, I will elaborate, just not now. I donīt know how to put it into words right now. I hope you don`t mind.

DD

posted June 01, 2007 05:05 PM         

Sometimes, I feel like, Janet from
another planet, hehe

posted June 02, 2007 08:34 AM         

so, now I have collected my thoughts and feelings, even though they still make no sense to me.
But I`m gonna try to describe how these dreams reach into my waking life. It`s a long story, or well, it has been developing for many years at least.

For several years now and then I could feel that I wasn`t alone without anyone being around. Sometimes out of the blue I just felt like I was enveloped with warmth and light. It mostly caught me completely off guard, those good feelings. But it was a very general feeling of warmth and love.
However, to me everyone, every single person has a certain "soul-print", that is absolutely unique. You can call it aura or soul-energy, I`m not sure about the right names for this. And it`s not just about the outward appearance, the voice and other things. It`s all that and more than that. If I talk to people and am in their physical proximity this "imprint" is very clear to feel. I guess that is what makes you like a person or not.
And from a very young age on that was the key ingredient for me to remember people. I often noticed, that I could remember the way certain people look or move, but that this sort of memory was like a still picture, without life. But when something inside me got their "soulenergy" and that was awoken like an echo in my soul, then the memory would feel very strong to me. I`m sorry if that doesn`t make sense, but I can`t really explain it better.
However, there were times when I could actually feel someone`s soulenergy, their presence with me in the same room, even though we were far apart physically. I felt that with relatives and friends I have a very close connection to.

But some times I had also felt another presence, very weakly over many years, but in the last year that feeling grew stronger, so strong that I couldn`t ignore it anylonger. And it drove me insane that I didn`t know who it was. I mean, I felt that I knew that man, but somehow I couldn`t break through the veil. Well, I then decided that either I had gone completely crazy or that I maybe wasn`t ready to know who he was.
And then over the last months that feeling of a presence had become really really strong. And there were some moments when I could almost grasp, who it was. And everytime when that realization was about to break through to me, I panicked and told my Higher SElf that I really didn`t feel ready for that. Well, and then the dreams began. *deep sigh* So you could say it actually started in my waking life and reached into my dreams and back into the waking life.
I know, how crazy this must sound, but the thing is, several times during the day, I can feel his presence with me. It`s like there`s electricity all round, and even my body reacts to that feeling of him standing next to me. It`s like someone stroke me with an electric cord; I don`t know if you`ve experienced this before, but if two people stand next to each other, without touching, it`s like there are sparks between their skins and the nerves are absolutely sensitized, the hair on their skin is erected and there`s some kind of electric vibration between them, like two magnets drawn to each other, which want to fill the void, the air between them, by drawing closer. I have experienced something like this with people I really liked and felt drawn to (literally) and who were phyiscally close.
And now I feel that without anyone around, just the feeling of his presence.

So, I guess I am a VERY imaginative person, or totally crazy.
What I described is what I feel, but of course I know this can`t be real. But what is this? And why do I feel this? And what on earth is that blue-white-light-thing all about?

DD

posted June 02, 2007 02:52 PM         

What you feel is what you feel, and therefore, it must be real. How can it be otherwise? If it was not real, then you would not feel.

Imaginative? I-magi-native. Yes, that is what I see in you. Wisdom, and magic. You have it, and by the Laws that govern, you attract it. It is coming.

I understand these feelings that you feel, it makes perfect sense to me, and you needn't explain it any better. You are not alone, even when you are. There is power in the aloneness and separation that you feel, that you are experiencing. Absorb it.

I believe that you are transforming, inside and out, physically and spiritually. I think that is why you perceive the blue-white light, which is healing spiritual energy. Someone is helping you along.

You are ready, or this would not be happening.

I don't know if this is just a reflection of my own wishes for you, but I feel a lot of joy in your future. You deserve this joy, you are worthy of it, you have suffered for it, and I truly feel that you will own it.

When? I do not know. That is up to you.

I hope I have not spread my thoughts too thickly upon you, they just kind of spilled out.

posted June 03, 2007 12:01 PM         

you almost made me cry. You said so many beautiful things; I`m not sure I deserve those, but still it was wonderful to read them.

It was a huge step for me to confess those feelings and "visions" I have, because they are so far out of the normal world. And it is just awesome to not be criticised or ridiculed for that. No, I didn`t think you would laugh about me (if I had thought that for even a tiny moment, I would never have opened up ), but I actually expected some more sceptisism (no, I didn`t want that, but I am used to get that reaction, if I become slightly spiritual).
But it feels very encouraging, that you didn`t react that way. I loved what you said about if it was not real, then I would not feel it. Yes, I think you`re right with that.

You also said, that you see wisdom and magic in me. Even though that is very much, how I want to be and to be seen by others, I`m not sure I truely have this. I wish I had, but I don`t think of me as a very wise person. But somehow the magic is coming into my life, you`re right.
And it feels as if I am undergoing a massive transformation and healing. I can feel that. But noone told me before that healing can even feel a little bit painful.
It`s like when you have frozen your fingers and then you approach a fire to warm your fingers up, and when the warmth spreads on your skin, it hurts a bit, when your skin starts getting warm again.
That is how I feel right now.

Thank you for your wishes for me. I would like to experience some joy in my future. And I now feel that it is possible to feel it one day.
That`s actually the most amazing thing that is happening to me during these times now. I am regaining my faith; I had lost it for so many years, but I can feel it coming back to me, and that in itself makes my life a joy nowadays.

Lotus,

thank you, too, for your words. They really warm my heart.

DD

posted June 05, 2007 05:30 AM         

None of us are perfect.

You deserve it. You are a beautiful person, whether you believe that or not. I can feel it, and you deserve to hear this. You need to hear it because on some level you know that it is true, but you can't believe it because ... ??? Of what others have done, said, told you? Some thing you have done that you can't forgive yourself for? Which is it?

You are a beautiful person, you are magical, and you are gaining much wisdom. You are a deeply spiritual person, and that part of you wants to express itself so badly. I can just really feel it, and I would not say so if I didn't mean it. You can search this forum and find that I don't really say these kinds of things too often. I'm not going on some ego trip here, I'm just saying that I truly feel something special about you, and I feel like you really need to hear that, and I really feel like telling you!

I love your "visions", and I love the way you describe things. Maybe we, here in Lindaland, can provide you with a vent, and with an ear, and a heart!

You are welcome, and thank you.

posted June 07, 2007 04:21 PM         

maybe you wonder why I didn`t reply to your last post earlier.
I didn`t forget about it, no, but I needed to ponder some of the things you said.
I`m sometimes rather blown away by what you write; are you seeing through me like glass?
It sometimes feels like you have better insights into my soul than most of my friends. How do you do this? Are you a "soul-reader"?

"You deserve it. You are a beautiful person, whether you believe that or not."
That is so wonderful to read. Really. Yes, I needed to hear that, no matter if I can believe it or not.

"t because on some level you know that it is true, but you can't believe it because ... ???"
You`re so right with this, you have no idea. Yes, I think deep down inside I believe that I have the potential to be beautiful. But somewhere along the way I must have subconsciously decided to not be beautiful. You asked for the reasons why I am not beautiful. WEll, for once there is my weight. I has served a purpose for quite some time, and maybe part of its purpose was to not be beautiful, to not draw attention to myself, to become invisible. But it also separated me from the outer world, from people, and maybe it did even separate me from myself. You know it has been my protection-wall. No wall of roses, and sleeping beauty built this wall with her own hands (and mouth in my case), so noone would see her.
Why was it necessary? I donīt really know. Maybe because of all those little, tiny incidents, where people tried to take posession of me, mostly only through words. Well, from a very young age on I had little boys running after me telling me I had to marry them or they would lock me up until I do. One even tried this once, locking me up in his room, until I promised him to marry him, which I of course didn`t do. He was just a little boy, as I was just a little girl, about 8 or 9 years old. Or later in school I know one or two boys fancied me, and I hated it. I couldn`t return their affection, all I felt for those two boys was compassion. There have been a lot of situation, where I had been literally chased. And no they didnīt lead to really bad situations. But they kind of left their mark on me. I realized that I couldn`t defend myself, I couldn`t draw the line, saying: "No step further." Maybe it was just easier to built this wall around me, so noone would even want to get closer to me.
And then again, I remember that as a young girl I thought often: "Why should I have the right to be beautiful, if others are not? Why should I be loved for who I am, when others are neglected and mistreated?"
Strange thoughts for a child, are they not?
But whatever it was that made me eat so much (and honestly, I did enjoy eating. ), it made it difficult for me too to reach out to others.

"Of what others have done, said, told you? "
You know, yes, it`s because of what others have told me in a long gone age. It might surprise you, but actually it were the exact words: "You are beautiful."
Or the words, my mother likes to use even till today: "You could be so beautiful, if only ..... you lost 30 pounds, didn`t wear jeans all the time, used a little make up" (Choose your condition).
On top of that, when I was a kid, I had many difficulties with other girls. They just hated me, and I never understood the reason for that, until one of them shouted at me (it was in elementary school, and I still remember): "You think you`re beautiful? You think you`re better than me? You`re not the queen of China!"
I was very startled by this outburst, because I didn`t understand what I had done wrong.
But yes, the idea of beauty is a subject, connected with much tension for me.

"ou are a deeply spiritual person, and that part of you wants to express itself so badly."
Yes, you`re right. I am deeply spiritual, and I cannot ignore that anylonger, and I don`t want to.

"I can just really feel it, and I would not say so if I didn't mean it."
I believe you. I don`t think I am all that, but I believe you. And it`s always a wonderful feeling if someone sees you the way you want to be seen, isn`t it?

"I'm not going on some ego trip here, I'm just saying that I truly feel something special about you, and I feel like you really need to hear that, and I really feel like telling you!"
Thank you. I don`t know what to say. I really don`t have the words. But thank you. You have no idea how good it feels to hear those words. It really does.

"and thank you."
Why are you thanking me? You are the one who helped me such a lot and listened to me and kind of pushed me to look into myself.

DD

posted July 05, 2007 02:14 AM         

No, I'm not a "soul-reader" and I cannot see through you like glass. But I can feel, and sometimes someone comes along that I can really feel, and there are times when a strong feeling turns into something empathic, and a connection is created, and sometimes this connection goes beyond empathic impulses and general feelings and manifests as something even more beautiful, some kind of entwining and knowing. Know what I mean? I felt that entwining and knowing with you.

That is why I thanked you. It is always a learning experience.

I hope all is well with you.