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Author Topic:   Long, weird... Kinda get it, but want to share
ghanima81
Knowflake

Posts: 1352
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted February 14, 2008 12:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
It took me absolute ages to get to sleep last night as the overworked Cancer in my room was snorrrrinnnng like a jakchammer. Anyways... odd, strange, bewildering dream last night/this morning that seemed to go on for hours.

The first part is kind of hazy, but I know I was in a relationship with someone who I wanted to tell that I was falling in love with. The part of my brain that realized it was a dream was quite shocked to discover this person was a woman. A blonde woman who looked about 20ish and kinda angelic. The 'dream' me was very happy and content, but the 'real' me knew that it was the wrong person, that I was really supposed to be kissing a man. Odd.

Next part, I am walking through a mall-airport type place. I am with a girl I went to gradeschool with (whom I haven't seen in about 10 years) but we were as we are today, professional women out for the day. We walked around this food court area and decided to go upstairs so we could see the whole place from above. It was all open, like a two story mall. I had this feeling that I was glad we were out, but I knew I had no money and didn't really want to eat because I had to lose some weight. (I felt fat in my dream) We decided on a place, sat at the bar and talked to the bartender for a bit. Next thing I know, we're talking about signing a lease and moving into a new apartment in Florida. (where I moved from in September) He was also trying to talk us into maybe upgrading after six months to buying a condo. I knew it was too much, so I suggested we go sit at a table and order some pizza. There was an odd feeling during this part. As if I was content with what was happening on the outside, but inside I knew something was off, there was an underlying sense of paranoia.

This dream/dreams seemed to go on for a long time, and I was awoken out of the dream. That is, I was still in the middle of it happening when I was woken up for the day.

I have some ideas, what do you think?

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Ra
Moderator

Posts: 2038
From: Atlanta
Registered: Jun 2005

posted February 20, 2008 01:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message
Hello Ghanima

The main thing I see, within both parts, is precisely what you stated, that you are content with what is happening on the outside, in your outer life, but you feel on the inside that something is off. It is as if you are becoming aware that your inner/outer, higher/lower natures are not in line with each other, which could translate into any number of life situations, such as relationships, job/career, where you live, etc.

Are you fooling yourself in some way? A difficult question which would require a fair amount of introspection and self-honesty.

Are you allowing someone else to fool you in some way?

I would love to hear your ideas on this, as they are no doubt far superior to mine.

What do you think?

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ghanima81
Knowflake

Posts: 1352
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted February 20, 2008 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
I think I love you!!

Long time, no see, dearest!

There are quite a few imbalances in my life right now that pertain to this matter. I have moved into my own place (just me, for the first time, I've always had roommates/significant others living with me), and am glad in one way, but also scared and unsure that I will be happy in the long run. I love people, taking care of people is just who I am... now I have to take care of just myself, it's a little scary. I have expressed nothing but excitment about this to my family and friends, however. So there's one way I'm fooling myself...

The other is my job. I went to school for massage therapy and did extremely well with that. I loved it, I thought I found what I had been looking for. But when I moved back up to Maine, the job market for that profession is slim to none, so I got a job at a law office. It is pretty cool, I do like it, it's a steady paycheck and I get to do different things every day... but I am also sad that I'm not getting to do what I so thoroughly enjoyed and thought I would be doing.

I am currently tentatively in a relationship that is quite different than any other has been. I don't really know how I feel about it... kinda different each day. As I just got out of a 2 1/2 yr. relationship, I'm taking this very slowly, something I almost never do. I have fun with this new person, he is amazingly sweet, kind, loyal and understanding. But, I don't know... there's something... not sure what yet... that keeps me from getting any closer.

Anyways... do those sound about right??

Thanks again, for the clarification.

Your light is always appreciated!!

Ghani

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