posted February 25, 2008 08:41 AM         

I am at my wits end. I have always had trouble sleeping, since a child. I am prone to incredibly tormenting nightmares and this has gone on into adulthood. So much so that I am afraid to go to sleep. Aside from this I do suffer from insomnia which comes and goes. However when I do sleep, it is only for a couple hours and I usually wake up crying out in a sweat. I don't always remember the dreams either or what is making me so afraid. Anyway, this is the background...here is what this post is actually about.

For the past few months, ever since I have become more involved in the occult and have tried to connect to my Higher S-elf, strange things have been happening to me when I am asleep. A few days ago I woke up because I heard the soft calling of my name right in my ear, a soft female voice saying ''Tash''. My real name is Natasha and my friends and family call me Tash. I was in a deep sleep but I woke instantly. I could feel a chill around me - very subtle and this female voice was very soft and sweet.

Something else has been happening and this is not the first time. I am sleeping and am aware that I am asleep, yet there is this force that is pulling me. I can't see it or hear anything, all I am doing is trying to fight it. It happened to me last night - or rather the early hours this morning. I felt the covers being taken off me and I was trying to fight it. Then I felt droplets of water on my naked back (my top had come off - I do this in my sleep when I get too hot I suppose!) I kept on trying to fight this force and couldn't, trying to force out the word No!, but I feel powerless against this and saying No takes all the effort I can muster. I pulled the covers back up over me and hid under them - eyes shut. I am too afraid to look at anything and also I have incredibly poor eyesight so even if I did open my eyes everything is a blur, which in the dark is even scarier.

I am tired. I am tired of the insomnia and I am tired of the nightmares. I feel tormented by them. The energy when they happen is not good, or I wouldn't be feeling so afraid. What is happening to me and I why do I have to experience this. I have wished so hard for my teacher to appear and he hasn't and I am so sick of having to experience this alone - I have no answers, that is why I am here trying to find some. If you think I may get responses or help from another place on LL please say so. Please help me.

posted February 26, 2008 04:26 AM         

I think you need to discover what the root of this fear is. Suggestions for this are beyond what I can give you, as I am not a professional, but I would certainly encourage you to seek one. Have you ever seen a counselor of any kind about this enigmatic fear of yours?

posted February 27, 2008 04:06 AM         

Don't you think?

posted February 28, 2008 04:18 AM         

Anyway, I will consider it. I know I need to I just need to muster up the courage to do it. Thanks Ra.

posted February 28, 2008 11:56 PM         

You say that there were one or two incidences that could have deeply scarred you and you say that they haven't actually.

Well, I think you're dealing with the scars right now.

The behaviors you are describing as far as waking up from bad dreams, insomnia and the forceful feelings of being controlled are classic symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I'm not a doctor and I can't diagnose it, but I have many friends who have it and your symtoms are classic to the point of being "cliche".

You would really be taking a loving and healing action for yourself by contacting a professional counselor or psychologist or psychiatrist to speak with to find out what is going on. You should not have to "deal with" nightmares or insomnia, that is not normal.

Sometimes it's easier to speak to a stranger who is a professional than it is to speak to someone who knows you and has preconcieved notions of what and who they think you are. Someone new who doesn't know you and part of their job is to listen to you and take what you tell them seriously can be a great gift to oneself. I know, I've done it many times over the years for depression. As a matter of fact, my friends and I joke that we don't understand how anyone can survive in NYC without their own psychologist. Now it's like a fashion accessory and if you don't have one, your not in the "in" crowd.

I gently suggest that you consider it seriously, you really shouldn't have to suffer like this, that's not what life is supposed to be like. PTSD can be cured and/or managed well.

Bless you and be well. With healing thoughts,

Geocosmic Valentine

posted April 05, 2008 11:06 AM         

I have taken so long to respond to you - intentionally. You have given me so much to think about. I was annoyed at you for being so right. Nail on the head. I am such a coward though. I can't open up to a person face to face and actually talk about this and what has happened. So here where I am anon I feel less afraid I guess. Thank you so much. Sometimes you get so involved in something - you know, that you need an outside perspective and that is what you have given me. I took a look at PTS online and read about it and yep, I am a classic case. I just never figured stuff that happened to me when I was so young, 3-4 years old will be affecting me so much now as a grown up.

I need to speak to someone. I have always relied on myself to get me through tough times you know...when did I stop being enough? I am sorry if I am not making much sense. I just wanted to come here to apologise for not responding to your kind thoughful post and try to explain why. You have helped me open my mind to other possibilities and I am so grateful. Thank you.

Prayer and white light protection have made a massive difference and I haven't felt the force stuff in weeks...but I do need to address the underlying problem. When I do I will let you know.

Love,

posted April 05, 2008 11:16 AM         

Yep, the pulling of the covers and clothes is awful. Bloody terrifying. As you have read above I obviously have other issues - which has nothing to with metaphysics I think - not that I am ruling it out though...so our situations are probably not very similar. Someone on the other board I think I posted this under Universal Codes - anyway- they suggested White Light Protection - I searched around LL for the thread. I have been doing it every night religiously and praying before I go to sleep and things have improved so much for me. I sleep much better now - through the night even and haven't felt the force stuff in weeks. Please try it. I get such a sense of comfort after doing the WLP...and prayer - believing in a higher, holy, good force gives me lots of peace.

I will be thinking of you MAG. Let me know how you get on.

Much love and blessings,

posted April 05, 2008 03:19 PM         

Spirits work a lot with symbolism because it is easy and fast to get a message across. Because you've been working so much on connecting to your higherself it is likely you opened yourself up to messages from the Other Side. Please don't think I'm saying you don't have PTSD, I'm not. I think it's possible to go through both psychological issues and spiritual ones at the same time. As an example, they say scientifically it is likely to have delusions while in sleep paralyses. Psychics know that sleep paralyses happens when we've been astraling and enter the body too quickly before it wakes itself up. This makes us prone to seeing spirits while in that state. So although science may call something a delusion, and perhaps many times it IS such, we know that the spirit world works with our state of mind to come through as well.

I really think that if you seek a proffessional to discuss your past with and if you clear your emotions from your heart, mind, and body you will feel a lot better and will be able to connect with the higherself easier and more clearly.