posted April 14, 2008 02:38 PM         

every once a year, or at times once in a few years, this girl from my childhood appears in my dreams. she lived around the corner from my old house, and i went to school with her. as a child i thought she was pretty. she played the piano and was rather quiet, and had nice long hair. but also she was not very active and and to me, who was the leader of the pack among the boys in the neighborhood, she appeared rather boring and neurotic as well. i have no idea what may have happened to her, last time i saw her must be like 16-17 years ago...

and her mother sort of considered my family as a rival or something. we had moved from a very big city to this small town, so perhaps to their eyes we must have looked rich and sophisticated (it was the opposite of that in reality!)... i remember there was some strange power struggle going on in the community.

this morning i had a dream with her again. we were in a house, and she opened a nice box and gave me a roll of white ribbon, and said "my mom made a dress for me with this ribbon, and she doesn't need the rest so she wants to give it to you". and although it was just a white ribbon and nothing fancy, i thanked her over and over, blissfully.

i woke up and made a note about it immediately.

what concerns me is that i have recently found out about my mother's severe illness. and i live in germany, but i was born in asia and grew up there for a while, and there, the color white can represent the color of funeral, on contrary to the black in the west.

beside this, i'm really puzzled about her appearances in my dreams, and they always seem to have some significance. but i never understand what she represents. i had much closer friends back then, she was sort of a friend, but i wonder, why her?

posted April 15, 2008 09:04 AM         

i feel dumbfound by what you said, now that you say it it seems most obvious!

I did think she was pretty, and i sort of "admired" her for what she could do (play the piano). but it was all confusing to me, because there was the weird rivalry thing going on among adults, so i also thought that i should not "admire" her. i do have her qualities inside me, and as i got older it has become more prominent. i'm hyper friendly on the outside but i'm actually very shy and introverted.

actually this is already the second time she appeared in my dream this year. a couple of months ago, in the dream i was on a metro platform. and without thinking i went down to another platform where "no one ever goes down to". but as soon as i was at the bottom of the stairs i was facing this half rotten hanged body. i saw a man standing alone in the distance, but turned right back in fear. upstairs on the normal platform, this girl from childhood took out cheese packed in plastic. and a rotten dead baby was hanging from the packaging and she was trying to get it off of it. it was really disgusting. then she made salad with the cheese, and somehow i felt obliged to eat it, but thinking that i will become ill from eating this "contaminated food". then suddenly my stepfather who i have no seen for over 15 years appeared and took my hand to get me away from the place...

a couple of years ago she appeared in a dream, where i was walking in a stream in a small town. she stopped me in the middle of the stream and gave me a lot of tangled clothes-hangers...