posted August 04, 2009 11:23 AM         

we were sitting at a beach somewhere, and there was a TV crew. Someone steals their camera and runs away, and as he does, the guy hits me in the back of the head. my head has a huge hole at the back and it is bleeding terribly, and my friend yells to call an ambulance. But as he looks again, i had turned into an old bald guy with a hole in the head. and he is already dead.

he woke up in his bed and we go out to the street. it is a strange town in the south or east of Europe, a city he has never been before, but apparently we live here now. i say to him that i need to go to a factory. i have something to do there. i disappear into the factory building and he walks around alone, then around the corner a dog comes, and he sees that its teeth are rotten, with grotesque slime dripping down, and it jumps onto him and bites him in the leg. his leg is bleeding and covered in the terrible disgusting slime, and he has to go to a doctor. He finds a clinic and the doctor is sitting at his desk in the middle of the room. there is a long queue of people in front of it. when it is finally his turn, he realises that he only has a few cents with him. he tells the doctor that he needs a bandage but it cannot be too big because i cannot pay for it. the doctor is very kind and has completely white hair, with his white doctor's coat. he sends some assistants to the other room to look for a bandage. in the meantime he brings an IV and gives him an injection.

when he is done and about to leave, a very beautiful girl with platinum blond hair approaches him and tells him that she wants to come home with him. she is not sexualised or his type, just a very pretty girl. he politely declines her offer, telling her that she is kind but he wants to go alone.

when he comes home, i am in the kitchen and he can see me doing something behind the door with a milk glass window. as i pass in front of the window, he sees that at the back of my head there was a shadow, like a hole, but it is not very clear through the milk glass. as i pass another time, i look like i have something strange hanging around my mouth. he enters the kitchen and sees me standing at the table, doing something, and there is a big hole at the back of my head, still bleeding badly. he is shocked, because he thought it was all a dream. he approaches closer to me, then i turn around, and to his utter terror my mouth is completely shredded, the flesh of the lips dangling around, and teeth exposed. and my eyes were not quite aligned normally, they were pointing to different directions.

Then he wakes up. he is in his room. and he turns to see, because he thinks i am sleeping next to him. but instead of my black hair, he sees platinum blond. and the person turns around and it is the girl who wanted to come with him at the medical clinic. he is completely confused and gets up to leave, and the girl invites him to stay in bed longer and play. but he says he has to go somewhere, and she says she'll accompany him.

so he arrives at a square with a big church in the middle, and a lot of punk kids hanging out (he used to be a punk himself). then he sees a girl entering the door, someone he knows from a few years back. relieved to see a familiar face in this strange town, he calls out her name, over and over, but she does not react. when he catches up with her, she turns around finally, but with a very angry look. then she yells at him, "what the **** do you want from me, leave me alone!" and this embarrasses him so much, because everyone stairs at him. he walks back to where the blond girl is standing, and realises that the girl at the door is now crying. a couple of punks passes him, with the look of disdain, and one of them pulls out a knife and stabs him in the stomach. he falls onto the ground and sees the blond girl looking down on him, with a strange smile. others are also looking at him with a snicker, they all are spiteful and mockingly laughing at him. then a little old dwarfish punk guy comes with a piece of pointy wood, and tries to poke his eye. he tries to evade, but he cannot move as he wants. he gets stabbed in the eyelids.

then he woke up, this time for real.

posted August 04, 2009 04:38 PM         

the platinum blond girl, although he does not seem to associate at all with this, the first thing that comes to my mind is his ex-girlfriend. he fell in love hard with this woman and he has not got over her for 5 years, and it was not just that but it has destroyed him completely. he is having nightmares, he aged 10 years in appearance since they parted, his life has changed forever. since then he is incapable of loving anyone. he said in the beginning he found her rather plain looking, not his type at all. she is platinum blond, and she has become THE woman of his life. i have a feeling the girl from the dream somehow represents her.

also it shows his past as a punk and how he feels like he has fallen out. also his constant nervousness and fear of being criticised...

posted August 25, 2009 08:17 PM         

and wow, i think you're onto something here, too... I'm really interested in dream symbols for I often dream myself. but when it comes to interpreting i suck. so any insight would have helped me, but i think your interpretation is pretty uncanny. i'm sorry the explanation of the dream was so long... but the reason i wanted to detail was exactly because this person has problems and i sensed it had to do with his inner struggle, and i seem to take part in his inner processing. i want to be his help in waking life too...

i can explain a bit if you want to see how reality correlates with your interpretation (but if not skip it). he is a very broken person, i live with him and we have a strange relationship. first of all, he watches TV all the time to forget reality. he is insomniac and has a pretty messed up sleeping schedule. he has refused to work all his life and living off welfare. he is one of those people who are so talented in many creative things that he gets nothing done. he has inner struggles being brought up by a bipolar mother. he avoids responsibilities at all cost. and lastly, he fell in love with a woman with platinum blond (so the girl in the dream may not represent her but it makes sense if it represents "perfection", since she is the perfect person) about 5 years ago and it destroyed him and he has become an empty shell since then. he cannot see anything more meaningful than the life with her. he has tried to date other women and tried to fall in love again without success. now he has pretty much given up and he is cynical, pessimistic, self-critical and dismissive of most things in his life. but he is suffering every moment of his life... his physical appearance aged practically 15 years since then.

ok, so that was the rough background. now i can kind of see where i fit in, because of your interpretation. i believe i am the closest person to him at the moment, both emotionally and physically (we have been sexually involved on and off in the past). i feel that he is struggling with being pulled toward me and his own resistance (that is why we become sexually involved on and off. when he feels emotionally too close to me, he quits being sexual). he is strangely detached to me but on the other hand he wants to introduce me to his mother, who has never met any of his friends/girlfriends.

i always wondered if it was just my egoistic point of view that i felt this person no one could help so far was turning to me for help somehow, because of what our friendship has come through. somehow i can't just ignore and leave him and i ended up sticking around... i just don't know how i can help him anyway, so i'm taking up a sort of neutral position in his life. i still don't know what he might "need" from me, but your interpretation did clear it up that i AM sort of the window in his damaged inner world into the outer world. although i don't know what would be the right thing to do, i hope my existence in his life is leading him out of the suffering.

posted August 26, 2009 06:28 AM         

also his drastic physical ageing in a short period is making him weary of his getting old. he used to look like he was in his 20s when he was 40. now he looks even older than his real age. this has planted him the sense of insecurity and he seems to be shocked of how he has come to look, he is not used to himself looking old. also he finds his life meaningless and empty. old man with a hole in the head may be showing his self image around this?

posted August 26, 2009 08:13 PM         

you say you're amateur, but then people tend to be great at what they are interested in as hobby or self-help. i think your interpretation was really good!

what i have with this friend is pretty eccentric. i'm not like moonstruck in love with him or anything, but feel some strange connection, like siblings (although we seem to be compatible sexually too. ), and it seems mutual, and we always seem to come back to each other. you're right, being there for him is all i can and should do, and i think he is already starting to give me the sign that he needs help, and that he needs it from me. when he started talking about bringing me to his home town to meet his family, which he has never ever done (to let others meet them, even his ex-gf of 7 years), i was quite surprised. and i even feel that the fact he had this dream may probably mean that he is unconsciously starting to realise that there is a way out of his hell, and it is through me. he was too sceptical to trust anyone before. a few months ago he also told me that he had a dream, where i stuck my tongue out to him and left him behind. he acts as if he doesn't want and need anyone, but it's not true... i will watch it, because i should not let it destroy me as well. i hope for the best for both of us of course.