posted January 23, 2010 12:53 PM         

I had several dreams in a row... I wanted to wake up but as I couldn't, I have forgotten most details of the initial dreams...

1 - I was with two workmates (real people) in what appeared to be a busy office. The man, the one who is my friend (I don't like her) left the place with me and went somewhere else. We looked through the window within the 2nd building, we saw a banner across the street, something to do with ecology and environmental care... Then I combined 2 ideas, that and a previous concept that I don't remember now... and had a bright business idea... My friend and I decided to start up a business based on that...

I don't remember the connection but then there was a cute elephant-like female creature hugging and kissing her partner, a male elephant-like creature...

2 - I was trying to wake up from the previous dream, so full of interesting details (I still remembered by then) when I did... It seemed that way...

I woke up in my bedroom. I wanted to write it all down so I tried switching the light on but I couldn't: neither the lamp or the wall lighting weren't working... The sunlight was filtering through the closed blinds (My bedroom was as dark as it is in real life when I put the blinds down to sleep).
I got up and went to the living room and it was daylight as I expected... The light was dim and I tried to swicth the light on there to be able to see better so I could write down my dream... and it wasn't working!!! I started drawing the elephant-like creatures in a piece of paper and write down part of the dream.

By then I knew that there was something unusual... I was still dreaming too!!!

posted January 23, 2010 12:53 PM         

He ignored me from then on... Most girls wanted him too but he only wanted to feel desired... or making me feel just another one in the list... I sat down on his lap, trying to arouse him... he let me, I was clearly more important than any other girl in there... but he kept pretending to ignore me... I felt so frustrated, so ignored, so unimportant, so unwanted, so unloved... I went out to the street and started crying...

I carried on trying to wake up but I couldn't. Fought and fought against my exhaustion... and finally could.

posted January 24, 2010 10:10 AM         

Elephant like creatures hugging each other is a memory since telephants have excellent memory and nurturing as they are excellent nurturers. The second part of your dream sounds like it was lucid and you are trying to bring your idea into consciousness but it may still be pre-mature...that is why you can't turn the lights on. Sometimes when the light switch wont work it shows that either you are not ready to see what you have to see or that you refuse to see something that you should be seeing...maybe you are not ready to see it completely, yet....

In third dream I get the impression you are trying to break free and make it on your own...your shoes tearing the panties or the panties getting in the way of the shoes something is an obstacle for the new path (shoes) you want to walk on

4th dream you are yearning for a loving relationship with this guy yet he is not ready for you that way - the loving relationship way that you want so badly - that is why I think he wont touch your breasts (symbol of love and nurturing/cuddling). See the baby you are holding against your breasts is the "young/relationship you want to nurture into reality but he ignores you from that point on because he may not want the same thing as you, or at least not yet.

As a sidenote steelrose this part here I have to mention to you as its sticking out prominently to me ... "why would I put my hands on there (breasts) if I have never done before" and "I desperately wanted him to touch me".... is this maybe talking of your connection to the gay guy and not this new guy you like now...

What do you think?

Your desire for intimacy is showing in these dreams for sure

Does this new guy you like, like you the same way?

You're definitely making headway steelrose your dreams show you forging ahead

posted January 24, 2010 04:20 PM         

I'm so happy you replied... I'm a bit confused about the last dream, not understanding why he was doing that to me...

I do think this new guy may not be ready for the kind of relationship I would want... Not yet... He is very young, I don't even know if he can do it at all...
I think the whole thing scares him, I'm a woman not a silly girl his age... and my position at work is higher than his... If things go wrong, he fears it would be not only unpleasant...
He knows great sex is not enough, that I'm after something bigger and higher... I think that he's still hiding behind excuses such as "we work together so we can't get involved" because he's intimidated...
But he's magnetised by me... Attraction is so powerful...
He fights against the power I have over him... I'm special and he cannot resist... He probably would prefer to like somene else because the situation is not easy... he must not be confident...
He sometimes pretends that I'm not important to feel stronger and free from what he thinks is an impossible obsession...

But I think he is getting ready... He knows he needs to offer love and compromise... and he is willing... but not yet... he's slowly considering it... I don't know if will ever be ready.
At least now, being scared, he's toying with the posibility... I sense it...

He's a lovely guy, noble and tender, but I need to be sure that he loves me, not just desires me.
After what happened with the gay guy, I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to love someone with no intention of corresponding my love...

Is this dream about my own insecurity or about the real picture (him not being really interested)?

You are right about the potential connection with the gay man... It was clearly the new guy but I may be "connecting" him with the other guy... with his behaviour... because I'm scared of getting the same rejection??
Doubting about his real interest for me... Therefore projecting my insecurity generated by the gay man on this new guy...
It has been months since I don't feel sexually attracted by the gay man (since I discovered his real nature) and every day I feel him farther and farther, the bond I had with him is disolving, which instead of sadness and pain as I would have thought, is making me feel relieved...

Regarding the loving elephant-like creatures, is that symbolising the idea I'm trying to bring into consciousness???
Yes... I'm somehow frustrated... because I'm walking in the dark, not really knowing if in the right direction... Yes, I'm trying to break free, to reinvent my life... but I feel awkward...

It really struck me the fact that this new guy decided to text me minutes after I woke up... after dreaming with him... It's the first time he texts me on his own initiative... and it was 5am!! after having seen me ony three hours before...

posted January 24, 2010 06:12 PM         

"Is this dream about my own insecurity or about the real picture (him not being really interested)?"

I think a little of both...you being cautious is projecting out to him as well. He is sensing it as well as not being ready for a relationship.

"Regarding the loving elephant-like creatures, is that symbolising the idea I'm trying to bring into consciousness???"

Actually I associated the elephant like with memory because the elephants have such great memories as well as nurturing...maybe the memory of your previous relationship which was trickling into your current love interest.
The idea you haven't fully brought into consciousness shown by you trying to switch on the light and it wont turn on yet...

I am so happy you have this new love interest and I know its difficult to have a sexual relationship with someone at work because what happens if it doesnt work out. But if you feel you are ok with the outcome dont hold back...so what if he is not the one...maybe he is a pleasant diversion and you just have fun! That's good too, and you need the loving ...something to ponder on

Maybe with him you just need to go with the flow and have fun

Mystique

posted January 24, 2010 06:32 PM         

The thing is that I don't want just a sex relationship... I need some love, some caring... not just fun...
My heart is severely broken, my soul torn apart... Sex just won't do... No matter how much I desire him, I know I'm thirsty of something else... nurturing... It'd be worse for me because physical pleasure will leave me empty and even more hurt...

I need to believe in men again...

If he's only ready for sex... I don't think I'd go for it...

You are right, he knows I'm not ready... He knows I have issues trusting men, that I have been emotionally beaten badly... He knows that I'm working on that but I'm still bruised...
We both may be hesitating because of that energy I give out... I may be creating this...

posted January 26, 2010 08:09 PM         

You are doing fine I know you are trying

Sending you love