posted July 30, 2010 08:30 AM         

i guess i was at my grandma's house... obviously some sort of natural disaster, a storm, had passed the area. my mother, who in real life has disowned me and not in contact with, came and told me that everyone had evacuated except for me, who actually miraculously slept through the whole ordeal in the house, unharmed.

my mother, my aunt and my grandma (who, in real life, all hate each other) had created a comfortable shelter under the house. it looked like a log house with a very low ceiling. they lined everything with plastic so the water would not get in. i was informed that grandpa passed, unfortunately, but from natural causes (in reality he's been dead for some years). i saw him laying on the bed or pedestal, and he turned into a young beautiful man, who looked a little goth. when i touched him he moved a little although he was dead, because he was happy i was there.

i don't remember the rest… if this dream sheds any light into what i'm dealing with… my BF is the person i was going to live the rest of my life with. but he is just being intolerable, for valid reasons, but i am afraid i am not equipped to go through it with him. it's tearing me apart.

posted July 31, 2010 08:47 AM         

it was a "3-stringed guitar". my BF tried to figure out how to play it. it was more complicated than a normal guitar. it was a beautiful simple instrument. he figured out a bit and played a few basic tunes.

posted August 06, 2010 06:43 PM         

The coming together of your family members can simply be a metaphor for different aspects of yourself, which have come together or come to an argreement in your decision to break up with your BF.

The death part seems like a renewal, which is also tied in with your BF.
As a part of you dies, another part will be born, hence the man being old and then young. He is emo because, understandably you grieve the loss of a love, even though you know that it's the best thing for you.

posted August 08, 2010 09:36 AM         

i can especially empathize with my having have to protect myself from emotions, it's been very very trying. also the fact that it's UNDER the house, i now see it's a clear indication of my situation having have to keep a low profile and "hide" away while i took care of matters at hand…

"self-preservation" was the main reason i felt the need to breakup with him, because his life problems were destroying him, and as a destroyed person, he was destroying me.

i think on the day i had the second dream above, we had a serious talk. well, it was very charged and violent emotionally, but he expressed that he really believes in us and basically he wanted me to wait for him while he recovers from his problem-ridden life. it was really difficult, given i really felt that i had more than enough, but i thought of the dream where he was trying to play the "3-stringed guitar". he's trying too.

it's been pretty much like the nice side of the relationship has become non-existent. but i see that i am "doing what is best" in my own life as you say. i guess i'll go on keeping my best as much as i can for myself then, while he tries to make the best out of what's he got. it may not be necessary to completely walk away, although it'll be lonely a while. it'll be a break and not a breakup…