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Author Topic:   PTS in dreams?
SunChild
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Posts: 1637
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 12, 2010 07:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So its been well over a year since I left my first partner who as I see it, abused me severely for a long time.

I sometimes have dreams that he is in my presence, drunk, threatening, abusing me, I woke up once gasping for air because in the dream he was holding my neck with a knife against it, another dream I woke up freaking out because he was in my garage threatening me with some kind of weapon, last night I woke up feeling emotionally low from him manipulating and abusing me.

I did have one dream where I fought back and and beat him up with punches and kicks, lol that was satisfying and I felt on top of the world when I woke up.... but in most cases he wins out in my dreams and I wake up feeling battered.

Are they cleansing me or haunting me? Most of the time I have no control in my dreams and I feel just as battered as I did in real life, and on a rare occasion I can gain my power back beat him down in my dream, should I aim in working on that?
These are the only dreams that bother me.


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If you want to know your Higher Self, look at the people you've met in the last year! ~Rudolf Steiner

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katatonic
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Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 12, 2010 07:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i think they are doing both, sunchild. as long as they haunt you you will also receive cleansing from them...if you see what i'm getting at....when the cleansing is done the haunting will be over. inasmuch as you have not processed the traumas, you are holding them in your experience, but each time you dream these dreams you have the opportunity, when you awake if not IN the dream, to let go of some more of the hurtful memories. i feel sure it is better to have these dreams than to suppress them. when you awake from them is there some kind of releasing process you can use to unravel the knots inside? i think this is what they are urging you to do...

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GypseeWind
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Posts: 4937
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 12, 2010 09:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with Kat.
I've surpressed many things from the past because I am really good at it, but in the end, you have to come to terms with it somehow, and if you push it away as fiercely as I did, the saggie way, it works itself through somehow.

Very often I relive childhood and terrible things I wonder if were real or not real.
Finally upon gathering with some siblings and cousins, we compared notes and found out that much of this did happen, although somewhat distorted in my dreams, through the eyes of a child.

But, as for you, you know it happened because you were grown.

There are some sites that give you great tips on how to preprogram your reactions to dreams. It takes some practice, but it can be done. And if you got satisfaction out of those times when you were victorious, then maybe this is something you might want to look into.
We have alot more control over dreams than what we think.

I'de be happy to search for some links on that topic should you be interested.

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Nephthys
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Posts: 941
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 13, 2010 12:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nephthys     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with Kat and Gypsee...........

I think you are still holding on emotionally to the pain.......I know, it's hard to let go completely. I think that's why he often wins in the dreams.

I think you're just going through a process. It's been only 1 year, correct? That's not very long at all. With a few more years, his existance will feel to you like from another lifetime.

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SunChild
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Posts: 1637
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 13, 2010 06:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks, you all are right

I see what you mean Kat, it does feel like a strong release, like you said, unravel the knots inside. I understand it now.

The last year has been a mental and emotional break from the torment, like a holiday and now I still have to process what is underneath, my hubby is great support and knows my ex well (they were friends for years), so he knows exactly what I mean when I talk about him. He's even received his share of abuse from him.

Thanks Gypsee, Nephthys, my mum has said a similar thing about feeling like they are from another lifetime. I'm looking forward to feeling that distance for sure. I'm still adjusting and accepting true happiness (like I don't deserve it or something), a new chapter in my life... learning to embrace it still.

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Randall
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From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 17, 2010 07:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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"Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on."--George Bernard Shaw

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blonderiverkat
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Posts: 458
From: Needles, California USA
Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 18, 2011 11:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blonderiverkat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It takes a very long time to heal from that type of relationship...the emotional the longest...I have finally regained much of my self-esteem after a 4 year abusive relationship, and an abusive marriage before that...I always had God in my life, but I now have the love of a wonderful man, he treats me like gold...I learned to love myself again, and I feel whole...

Many blessings to any living creature who has had to endure unnecessary, or unwarranted pain from anybody...

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