posted January 04, 2011 01:33 AM            

The last dream I remember was horrible. I think I wanted to show him to someone. Maybe my grandmother (whom I cherish and is no longer here. I have the same problem about her. I barely dream of her and never see her in my dreams, even this one. I just had a feeling it was her presence). So in this dream, I am trying to show him to my grandmother so she can see him, how he looks like, and for some reason we never manage to see his face. He is always turning his face away or something, but he doesn't even know we are trying to see him. And then I go after him and he turns around and his face looks so ugly and scary. And he starts coughing or making noise with his nose like someone whose nose is running but is not using a tissue. That was horrible.

The man I am talking about is absolutely gorgeous. He has that kind of otherworldly beauty, but not the kind that could make him shallow or arrogant because of it. To me, it's more like his soul is so beautiful that it is shining forth. But now I am scared that the dream meant he is actually ugly inside and that I am just projecting my longing of being united with a beautiful soul/heart/ who would love me and build an amazing life with me against all odds.

So my first question is : what does it mean when you barely manage to dream of your beloved? Does it mean he never thinks of you or that he is not connected with you, that the connection I feel is just sort of fantasy like?

My second question is about the dream I had about his face.

some details about us : we are away from eachother, thousands of kilometers away. We had a brief 2 months together when I felt a super strong connection developping from the very first day our eyes made contact. I felt something totally unusual in my heart and I felt it was reciprocated. But there are lots of social, cultural and religious differences that are scaring the both of us. More him than me. So he has always kept some polite distance despite letting me know he likes me a lot. The day I left his country I received a message from him saying he started to realize he is feeling something for me but doesn't know how to explain. The message was very gentle and shy. I kept calling him every week until now (3 months). It was great in the beginning. I felt he believed we could try something together and now I feel the fears about the cultural obstacles are coming back and he is more like friendship oriented now. So the situation is very complex.. I forgot to mention a big age difference as things were not complicated enough. I am older. But it is not visible, as I look in my late twenties and so does he.

posted January 04, 2011 09:20 PM            

But like I said, I hardly ever dream of her. Now the Scorpio I've known since I was 9 whom I believe to be my Soulmate, I dream of her all the time. Matter of fact, the strongest dreams I've ever had were of her.

Maybe your dreams are trying to get you to see beyond your guys physical and focus more on his personality or what makes him, him. I'm not saying you aren't doing this already, just a suggestion.

------------------
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Gemini Mercury
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars
Virgo Asc

posted January 05, 2011 04:55 AM            

I think lately I was worried about not being able to make a difference between my longings (the life and partnership I would like to have) and the connection I actually feel.

It's true I am fearing that his beauty could be distracting me from seeing things as they really are. Writing on the dream about the ugly face made me realize this. I think the ugly face showed that I started to have doubts not only about him but about my own ability to see things clearly. Of course this is due to the fact that recently he seemed to have doubts and started to say that maybe it's better if we just stay friends because things are really too complicated for us.

But then I really feel this strong connection between me and him. Feelings of being home when around him, feelings of safety, feelings of being understood, feelings that we can accomplish everything together, feelings of wanting to share everything, feelings that we are wonderfully complementary, feelings that this man can read my mind and heart as if he was doing telepathy. And this really have nothing to do with his beauty. I met other beautiful men who didn't make me feel that way. It is really something I feel from my heart to his heart.

The first day I talked to him, it was really like an invisible and strong current between the both of us. It was like having an electric cable connecting us. It was happening at a time when my heart was so cold that I thought I will never be able to love again. It's like all men were invisible to me. I felt a total indifference. And then, there he was.

But then again, I am doubting everything, even my own feelings. What if I am just being a fool living in fantasy land? I've been hurt very badly in the past. And I might be scared right now. Overwhelmed by these feelings.

Besides, I don't quite understand why I barely dream of him and that is also something I worry about maybe. Do we always dream about our soulmates? Maybe he has this telepathic skills (he is a cancer and he is so sensitive and intuitive). Maybe he is pushing me away from him even in the astral realm. That's actually what I feel inside. He is too scared to disappoint his family and I think that is something unbearable for him. He seems certain that his family will never accept me because of the religious background. So he'd rather dismiss his own feelings and just keep me as a friend.

posted January 09, 2011 01:32 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Negreta:

when my heart was so cold that I thought I will never be able to love again.

---

Maybe that's why you met him.