posted February 06, 2011 12:53 AM            

So, as the title says, my boyfriend keeps waking in terror..

Our relationship is pretty new and I almost jumped through the roof the first time we slept together and I woke up because he was clutching my shoulder, flailing and breathing like a freight train... I talked to him and when I got him really awake he seemed oblivious to the whole thing.

Now I just notice it when it happens (almost every night, at least once) and just say his name loudly enough to sort of snap him out of it, and he usually goes back to sleep again, if he even ever really woke up.

Now, I know there might be a couple of reasons for these episodes, one being the fact that he was systematically bullied for many years while growing up, judging by the obvious panic and things he says during, like "Stop!", "No!" and "Help!".

He hasn't really said much about what really goes on in his dreams when he's like this, and I doubt he even remembers a fraction of them, but he HAVE said that he sometimes dreams that he can't breathe, that he is suffocating.

Maybe this should be in the health forum, but doesn anyone know if it's common for sufferers of sleep apnea to actually dream they are suffocating when they're actually not breathing..?

I'm usually not awake to observe him the moments right before he has an episode, but on the few occasions it has happened I have not noticed any change in his breathing pattern before he is suddenly breathing like he just ran a marathon.

I mentioned the possibility of sleep apnea to him, but he is sure he doesn't stop breathing during the night. (How could he know? AFAIK it takes advanced medical equipment to determine that)

He is also fascinated by the fact that I dream ALOT and remember several dreams every night, but none of them are nightmares.
He found it REALLY strange that I don't have nightmares, and that just makes my heart break, thinking about how his nights must be...

posted February 06, 2011 02:28 PM            

I'm probably more consciously aware of this than he is, at least as it is happening, but I know he feels tired most of the day and I want him to feel better.

posted February 07, 2011 03:22 PM            

dare I ask?

I'm just going to go on and assume I know the answer. A lot of sugar in the diet will give it a sticky/gooey feeling and a lot of meat makes very bitter.

posted February 07, 2011 08:22 PM            

Add in the fact that he has cerebral palsy (the reason for the bullying, incidentally) there is a whole slew of health issues to consider.

posted February 13, 2011 01:06 AM            

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee, blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

He can break the prayer into pieces and learn it phrase by phrase until he can memorize it. That's how I did it. Also if he sleeps with a rosary that will make him feel safe too. Having a Motherly protectress beats everything else. Me and my sister have done this and it helps.

Another thing you can do which I have done is to find a small candle, not an open one but one in a glass that's small and light it away from the bed in a safe place. So the light in the room will make him feel safe too. When he sleeps with good thoughts it should help his thoughts during sleep.