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Author
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Topic: Rage at mother? repeating dream
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SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 379
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 01, 2011 07:19 AM
  
Hi allSo this dream does not take much analysis. My mother and I this summer had some serious emotional disconnect and fights about things that happened more than 10 years ago (divorce etc). I have been seeing a therapist to deal with all family stuff. Lately for the past month or so I have had a dream a week where I am in a rage/fighting with my mum and saying all the things I cannot say in reality. This morning, the dream was slightly different. We were in a white house and sunshine outside, we were arguing but with less rage that I have felt previously. My mum interrupted the fight to call her husband and say she loved him which made me really angry (he is my step dad). The dream ended with her storming out. I woke up with the familair feeling of, "great" here we go again. I KNOW on a subconscious level that perhaps I need to tell my mother how I feel , but to do that is to create an even bigger chasm but having recurring dreams is not helping either. Any thoughts? Sparkling IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1164
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 02, 2011 01:17 PM
Do you know why you resent your step-dad so much? Is it just the obvious feeling that he replaced your dad or is there something else in addition?
I am not even sure the dream's message is about you needing to talk to your mom in real life. Dreams are for YOU to figure out something. Looking for external validation sometimes is not the way to go. Your mom may well have her own issues that might not allow her to see what you need her to see.
Have you talked to your therapist about this recurring dream? Some of them, depending on their training, can help you with dreams too. About the dream itself, some traumatic event occurred that you/your subconscious is trying to make sense. You needed the love and safety of the mother figure (nurturing, etc.) which apparently was not there for you either literally or metaphorically. Figure out what exactly makes you angry when your mom calls your step-dad and tells him she loves him in your dream. Do you feel like competition for your mom's love? Neglect? Lack of consideration? Unfairness? What is it that you feel and why?
(No need for you to tell me here, lol, these are q's for you to ponder).
Last time I had a recurrent dream, I was seeing a gestalt therapist and to my amazement he let me bring it up in every detail and re-enact it, everything the scene, the feelings... After that session, I never had that dream again in my life. Its message was (intuitively) comprehended (and by re-enactment, it was put out in the open which is often all you need for it to cease to return in your dreams) and so there was no reason for it to come back again. It's a great feeling. 
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 12660
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 06, 2011 10:35 AM
How close was she?------------------
"Nurture great thoughts, for you will never go higher than you think."--DISRAELI IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 379
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 07, 2011 04:25 AM
Hi Randall and anongrl10I had seen this and wasn't ignoring it, I promise!  But I wanted some time to think it through some more. It is interesting, because I haven't had this recurring dream since so feel I am working something through. This was spot on, "About the dream itself, some traumatic event occurred that you/your subconscious is trying to make sense. You needed the love and safety of the mother figure (nurturing, etc.) which apparently was not there for you either literally or metaphorically". Without going into detail, this is the reality of my relationship with my mum. There is inevitable dissapointment. My mum called last night for the first time in ages, and she doesn't actually "listen" to what I say, just like in the dreams. Sparkling IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 1164
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 07, 2011 10:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by SparklingSag:
Hi Randall and anongrl10I had seen this and wasn't ignoring it, I promise! But I wanted some time to think it through some more. It is interesting, because I haven't had this recurring dream since so feel I am working something through. This was spot on, "About the dream itself, some traumatic event occurred that you/your subconscious is trying to make sense. You needed the love and safety of the mother figure (nurturing, etc.) which apparently was not there for you either literally or metaphorically". Without going into detail, this is the reality of my relationship with my mum. There is inevitable dissapointment. My mum called last night for the first time in ages, and she doesn't actually "listen" to what I say, just like in the dreams. Sparkling
Thank you for the feedback, Sparkling.
I have a similar relationship with my mom and I know how that stinks. It's good that you took time for the dream to "sink" and also that you haven't had it since. It happens when you pay attention to a recurring dream; it's like you're sending the message to your subconscious that "you 're hearing it loud and clear". The dream will only return if you didn't really pay attention to its message. But many people try to reason about their dreams vs. "feel" them, accept them, even meditate on them. You did the right thing by taking time off and staying with it.
Best of luck; you're on the path of some personal healing regarding the situation with your mom. IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 379
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 07, 2011 11:04 AM
Thank you so much. Your understanding made me feel better so thanks. 2011 has been a critical year for me concerning relationships and reality of them all. My sister and I healed our relationship and that's strong.Re: Had a dream with my ex, seems I am wanting to address all issues right now. I have this feeling of wanting the familiar and running to a safe place... Sparkling IP: Logged | |
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