posted November 24, 2011 06:15 AM            

---

my guy and I went to some kind of an outdoor gig, where a band played one of the songs he wrote for them (he's a musician in real life). A few people we used to know (before our crisis) in the "circle" were there too, including the people who "kicked us off the road" for their own benefit (i used to have nightmares about them but this time it wasn't a nightmare). and in a way i felt superior to them, because they got to see my guy was better than them, and I was dressed very cool and people thought I was cool.

my guy was very natural, and he appeared very himself and normal, unlike neurotic and crazy like how he is now in reality because of all the problems in life. I felt so proud that his music was being played, and he was very natural and humble about it although just a few people knew it was composed by him. But there was a sense of recognition and respect from a certain few people who knew "who he was". He was sitting on one of the logs used as a bench, calmly amused and content.

Then we had to take the leap.

He said I had to run down to get the the level below, and to do so, I had to run through a small area towards the left where it looked like a sculptor's atelier, and there were small and large Roman statues, in pieces and one or two complete (i have a phobia for statues in real life). Then immediately after this little area, I had to jump onto the top of a dry fountain-like place against a wall, and climb down the statues!

he was on his bike, and we both started at the same time at his "go". I started running towards the statues, through them and jumped onto the fountain statues, running and descending, really terrified because of my phobia. It was really scary, I was touching, and ON the statues!

But then it was very quickly over and there I stood, in front of a murky pool of water (pond,part of the fountain?). I looked around, and the others from the gig were there too, and we immediately realised my guy was nowhere to be found. We all thought he leapt and plunged into the water, so a few of us got into the dark, slimy green water, and tried to look in the bottom but it was completely muddy and nothing was seen. It was just a little deeper than our height, so when we tried to reach the bottom we could feel all sorts of grimey, unknown, disgusting things there, they could have been dead bodies, garbage, anything, just something we didn't want to know.

We tried for a few moments but it was just not possible to continue. I was in despair, thinking that he had died.

In a grim mood, they started disassembling the "set". This dream world was made of a stage set of some sort. They moved the top roof level out of the way, and I realised that my guy was lying on that higher level hidden by the structures which was part of the "set". I ran up to him, and I saw his bike was broken. But he was alive and he woke up in my arms, unharmed.

I don't know how to explain, it was such an overwhelming sense of miracle. I felt thank god, we made it and it's all good now. I held him in my arms and it was ok, everything was back to normal and better. He had made it, and in a smaller way I had made it too by passing through the statues. He not only leapt, he went to the higher level.

---

i looked up the dream dictionary and the "left side" where the statues were means the past and my intuition, etc. i get it that i have to confront my deepest fears to overcome my current problems in life. my real life statue phobia is likely related to the experience with my Borderline mother (detached unsympathetic figure), which i'm trying to overcome... because i would like to travel to places where there are lots of statues...

posted December 05, 2011 06:34 AM            

i want to believe the above dream is a sign we will overcome this.