posted November 26, 2012 10:00 AM            

I keep having dreams of my ex-husband. I lived with him in Canada and I keep dreaming of that place too. We divorced in late 2009 and I thought by now I would be over him and moved on with someone new and not to mention moved on to a new life. Whenever I dream of him, the feelings stay with me all day, almost paralyzing me with anxiety, fear, sadness and loneliness. I even hear his voice in my dreams and I wake up thinking he is actually in my apartment somewhere. I drive myself into utter seclusion at times because I feel I cannot express my feelings to my family because I feel they don't understand why I feel the way I do, so I hide it. I go through spurts where I am happy to be on my own and then I regret ever leaving him. We were together a total of ten years and it makes me sad we could not make it work, we were practically best friends. The memories, the good times, and the way were come back to haunt me and because they remind me of who and what I lost. I know he is never coming back, I know we will never see each other again, and I know we will never speak again, and I know he has already moved on...but why can't I? I feel like I've paid my dues, I've had my karma, and I have been lonely enough to have understood why we did not work out.

I don't want to suffer anymore, I just want to move on, I don't want to live my life like this anymore.

I deserve love.

posted November 28, 2012 04:42 AM            

You keep dreaming of your ex because you do not express your feelings. You obviously have a great deal to work through, and if you don't deal with it in your waking life, your subconscious mind will work on it through your dreams. This energy needs an outlet, and your dreams are the only one available.

In order to change your dreams you have to change your mind. In order to change your mind you have to forgive yourself and release all of this stuff that is binding you up and bogging you down.

I can feel your anguish through the words you have written, but it is not healthy to keep it bottled up. You must release it. Have you thought about seeing a counselor or therapist? I strongly suggest that you see someone who can help you release this stuff, who can help you move on.

posted November 28, 2012 11:08 AM            

Thank you for your reply. I am trying to get through this, but I've lost my way, again. I want to see someone about my struggles, but I can't afford it.