posted March 12, 2013 04:46 PM            

It was dark (as it usually is in my dreams) and I saw my ex's mother in a parking lot, getting out of a car about to meet her son (my ex) at a restaurant. She looked over at me and I felt the need to get my phone out and call her at that point, since she had seen me.

We had a really awkward conversation and I asked her how she was doing. She then asked me how I was doing and I said "great!" but when she responded, there was doubt and amusement in her voice.

The last thing I saw before I shot straight out of bed, was a set of stairs going down in to the ground and I either saw or heard the words 'Secrets and Lies'. Not long after I woke up, I looked down at my phone (my real life phone) and it said 4:11 which is my ex's birthday. Also could mean information...

I get part of the overall message/feeling of the dream - my discomfort and sadness about not having been accepted by that part of his family. It obviously still bugs me and I suppose it hurts too. We've been broken up now for a year and a half but lived together for 3 years and I thought he was "the guy". Our plan was permanent, let's put it that way.

The Secrets and Lies part at the end makes me wonder about my own subconscious and what's down there.

Any interpretation of this dream would be helpful. I'm usually pretty good at figuring out my own dreams but for some reason this one (because it involves her) is harder for me to see/feel clearly.

The overwhelming feeling I was left with was discomfort and a bit of shame...and maybe some frustration too.

posted March 13, 2013 03:26 PM            

But in terms of just thinking about it or analyzing/speculating about the reasons, you're right. When I do consider it, I just end up feeling bad about myself, like I was never going to be good enough for her. And at the end of the day, dreams are really just a reflection of ourselves so maybe she's there representing my inner critic.

posted March 19, 2013 04:25 AM            

quote:

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The Secrets and Lies part at the end makes me wonder about my own subconscious and what's down there.

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That's precisely what this dream is about, as that is exactly where the stairs lead, to your subconscious.

The dream reflects your perception that your ex's mother influenced/interfered with the relationship and suggests that you have unresolved emotional issues concerning the situation. You said you felt "a bit of shame" … why? It is likely that "secrets and lies" is associated with the "shame" and refers to what resides within your own subconscious, things about yourself and/or your role in the failed relationship that you do not wish to acknowledge or recognize. Perhaps you have done some lying to yourself.

How do you feel about this?

posted March 20, 2013 04:09 PM            

Thanks for your reply I have done a ton of reflecting about my part in our relationship over the past year and a half. I have forced myself to be honest and real about my participation in how things went down and I think I have done a fairly good job of it. Of course there might always be more in there, and if that's the case, I feel confident that I will eventually figure it out (or it will rise to the surface).

The other thing that makes me wonder is an issue that I know about from my ex's past which could have to do with the dream. I can't mention it here as it is very personal to him but since his mother has a connection to it, I wonder if perhaps the Secrets and Lies might be in part about that.

As for the shame I felt in the dream, I think that's partially related to the fact that it's the only relationship in which I feel as though I didn't do my best. I'm not actually saying that I didn't do my best, but I feel as if I didn't. I was going through severe PTSD for a good part of it and so my 'best' would not be seen as such by most people (even myself maybe) and so perhaps it has to do with that too. I know that she judged me for what she perceived as weakness and I think my ex did as well.

posted March 21, 2013 04:29 AM            

As for the shame, there is probably also guilt and self image/confidence issues wrapped up with it, but it looks like you are making progress getting to the bones of it.

Sounds like you are dealing with some difficult stuff, and I applaud you for your openness and willingness to take it on, as well as your wilingness to look inside of yourself for possible answers. Thank you for sharing your dream.

posted April 03, 2013 04:43 AM            

Thank you for sharing your dream.