posted May 24, 2013 06:49 AM            

I've had an ongoing infatuation with someone now for a full year -- it's definitely the biggest crush on someone in my entire adult life.

Without going into a huge longwinded explanation of the situation, we were both very taken with one another when we first met, however I was going overseas within a month... for 3 months.

We're in a situation where we are constantly in each others orbit, so when I got back, the feelings were stronger than ever, but... long story short... I guess he was on a separation and they reconciled while I was away. He's MARRIED

I am not trying to will him to be with me. I just honestly can't keep thoughts of him out of my head. I've tried and tried to shake myself of these feelings for him, but I can't seem to do it.

Thoughts of him and fantasies creep into my head ALL THE TIME. I feel crazy. My one consolation is that I act normal IRL, lol. I am not interfering in anything, I'm not trying to win him over. I have no intention of breaking up his marriage.

I'm certain he's still attracted to me too. But we both have closed body language and cautious communication when we're around one another. But our eyes dart whenever we are in each others presence, he'll tend to inhale deeply when I'm around, like he's holding his breath and/or puffing out his chest, and he'll have an expectant look on his face until we acknowledge one another. We have a hard time staying outside of each others personal space if we are alone and talking. We get too close. But nothing ever happens. I would not allow it. I will NOT be with a married man.

I guess my question is about these thoughts and fantasies that I can't escape. I do believe in the law of attraction and I feel guilty, I feel like I'm just being self-indulgent and putting my will out there, but I'm honestly halfway into the fantasy most of the time before I realize I'm doing it. And when I know I'm doing it, it just feels so good and so enticing, it's hard to say "no" to myself, so I just go with it...

Other things I read say you can't force someone to be with you in this way anyhow... I don't want to force him or anyone to be with me. I really dont! Others say that when we fantasise, we are sending out energy to that person and I've experienced that in other ways recently (not him), where this was confirmed... with friends getting into contact, etc. So I'm confused about what to think with this stuff.

If I could make myself stop feeling this way, I would have done it months ago

I am going overseas again in 7 weeks, and I'll be gone for 10 weeks this time. I'm hoping that being out of his orbit for that time will lessen or even deaden these feelings. So I'm just sort of counting down. I hope I meet someone lovely who I feel just as strongly about and that he's totally AVAILABLE...

What do you think? Should I actively STOP fantasising about this man? Is what I'm doing bad? How do you think this psychic energy is affecting him?

posted June 04, 2013 04:35 AM            

I apologize for leaving your post hanging out there for so long. True, this is not the typical topic for this forum, but I can see the 'astral' connection.

Well, to me it seems as if it is just as you have said, a strong mutual attraction. I don't think there is anything "bad" about what you are doing or thinking or fantasizing. Sure, there can sometimes be a psychic effect, but I wouldn't put too much emphasis on that. You are not "forcing" anything on him.

Sounds like you are doing the right thing, so just try to keep it up.

I hope this all works out for you. I know this kind of situation can use a lot of energy.

posted June 11, 2013 01:02 AM            

Thanks for your response, I appreciate it.

I kind of go back and forth on letting this thing go. There have been one or two occaisons where I feel like "WOW! I AM FREE! TOTALLY OVER IT! DON'T FEEL A THING IN REGARDS TO HIM ANYMORE!"...

But somehow, it always comes back. Usually after an extended interaction with him. Then I'm just a pile of jelly again.