posted January 07, 2015 12:12 PM            

I think my subconscious mind is baring its teeth again.Although I have been fine since I woke I do wonder if part of this dream should be taken as a literal attempt for something to make contact with me.

From What I remember I was in my old primary one class in my old primary school.There was an old classmate of mine who I never liked who was causing a disturbance.I was sitting in my chair he punched me in the face so I got up and punched him in the face and grabbed him and slammed him into a wall.I started screaming at him that I hated him and that I had always hated him.After that I just started to confess my negative feelings that I felt about other classmates.The words just poured out of my mouth and the class and my teacher who happened to be my form teacher from secondary school just looked at me and didn't say anything and we continued on till break time.

I remember standing around the bottom of the playground for the older children in my primary school.I was leaning against the fence. I was with this group of people who were acting as if we were some gang that was up to no good.We were giving off a really rebellious and almost feral vibe.The whistle blew and I went into my primary seven teachers class and she put on a video.We seemed to be having some sort of party.I think it must have almost time to leave primary school.I didn't recognise the animated video which she said we would all be familiar with.After that me and her went for a walk down this country lane.We walked until we got to a gate.Standing at the gate were at least three animals.I can't remember what two of them were they might have been sheep or two rams.I do remember there was at least one white ram which lowered its head and charged at me.I stood my ground and grabbed it by its horns and maneuvered it out of my way.Me and my teacher went through the gate.This farmer approached us and seemed to be angry at her apparently she had used some of his hay or crops without his permission.She just brushed him off.I was really surprised as this was something she would never have down in real life.I was starting to get a really funny feeling about this dream which added to the tension. I already felt on edge because of the beginning of the dream. It was starting to get dark and I had this thought running through head that this woman was not my teacher.We walked past this old building and I think I saw a shadow move inside.At this point I couldn't help myself and I knew it might have been a bad idea but I uttered the immortal words "You aren't my teacher are you?" and like that my correct suspicion was clarified.I saw the teachers eyes go completely black and her face became demonic looking and her voice became incredibly deep.I can't remember her exact words but she give an answer which was quite sarcastic.It was like I had amused her because I had only came to that conclusion now.I think she knew what I was going to say even before I asked her.I think she said something which seemed hard to make out or like it was in a different language.I think she did this after she asked me what her name was.I can't remember if she said what she did before I answered or after it .Before I answered I thought to myself I better get her name right as I had a feeling she might harm me if I got it wrong.I didn't know her name though but before I knew it I had screamed at her Rumplestiltskin.The words just poured out of my mouth I think it was just my nervousness that made me say that.I knew it was wrong but it was to late.Anyway her clawed hand reached out to me and she told me that she wanted the skin from my face. I'm not really sure if she just planned to dispose of me or if she was actually trying to make a deal with me. I'm not actually sure if I had a choice or not because it was all happening very fast.I didn't know what to do. I said no because I didn't know if giving her the skin from my face was a good idea or not.I didn't know if it would have any affect on my real life and also I wasn't sure if giving her the skin would mean I had made a deal with her.I think she disappeared after that.

After that in the dream I woke up in a dark room I didn't recognise.It was early in the morning and there wasn't a lot light but enough to see.I was still in the bed looking at my surroundings when I see lights on some machine which appeared to be turned off start to flicker on and off.Then I noticed there were tanks all around the the room which I think had piranha in them.I saw the piranha eating other fish in the tanks. There was blood in the water and bits of flesh floating in some of the tanks.Then I noticed this one tank which had this thing whatever it was which looked like a small bald person which had an oversized Moon shaped head.I think it spoke to me.I think it wanted to be fed.I got out of bed and walked out of the room.I was in this dark hallway.I looked down the stairs and I saw shadows and fish swimming around.They weren't in any tanks.It then occurred to me that I was walking around underwater.I didn't even need to worry about breathing.For a second I tried to think about what do.I almost went downstairs but then I thought god knows what is lurking around down there.So I tried to remain calm and I walked back into the room I had just came out of.

Then still in the dream I woke up again and the sun was up I and walked downstairs.As it turned out my house mates who I must have lived with in the dream were having breakfast I thought this is weird.Although things get weirder because amongst the group of guys I was living with was the guy who punched me earlier in the dream. I thought to myself this whole situation is totally messed up.I thought I may as well get to the bottom of this. I told them all about what had happened in the dream I had.I thought this would get me some answers.Eventually it was just me and my arch nemesis sitting talking.I felt more uncomfortable as I know he knew what was going on but he was playing a good game and wasn't letting anything slip out.He knew what I was doing and I think he knew I knew it.I was on the stairs and I got a bad feeling.I turned around and looked up the stairs and hissed like a cat and let it see my teeth.From the angle I was at I didn't get to see what was up the stairs although I imagine whatever it was was probably like the other beautiful creatures I had encountered earlier in my dream.

posted January 07, 2015 04:36 PM            

Have you or do you have sleep paralysis?

Were they the only words actually spoken out loud in the dream 'you're not my teacher?' And have you heard that phrase or seen some similar mannerism in a film or real life, does it remind you of anything?

I really find it true that spoken words and numbers are less easily digest by the unconscious like Freud said so often give a clue to the real life meaning that helps unlock the dream.

posted January 07, 2015 05:46 PM            

Fortunately I didn't experience any sleep paralysis and don't experience it which probably meant that it wasn't any sort of entity trying to get to me.

I don't think they where the only words spoken out loud.I do find that a lot of the time I can't remember everything that was said in dreams.

It doesn't really remind me of any particular phrase or film.I feel like I said in the dream because I some how just knew it wasn't my teacher.

Usually I watch a lot of horror movies everything from slasher movies ,monsters witches,demons pretty much everything and I am usually unaffected by most of the things I watch. I Could easily just go to sleep after watching something like I have described in my dreams and sleep like a baby.

I usually only have crazier dreams when events of real life are stressing me out which are usually unrelated to what happens in the dream.For example if I am dreading going to a party the day Its not unusual for me to get attacked by a wild animal like a tiger or a bull or something like that in my dreams.

I was a little bit tired and I had a small amount of alcohol which I rarely do because I'm not much of a drinker.So perhaps that helped things along.I understand that what happened could just be a dream and what I am about to say next could have put things into my mind.

The last few days I had taken an Interest in the Babylonian Goddess Tiamat who who supposedly birthed the world and was eventually slain by Marduk. http://www.gatewaystobabylon.com/gods/ladies/ladytiamat.html

posted January 08, 2015 02:12 PM            

Please read it as an opinion:
This is a dream of a leader: defend people (=primary school), handle an obstacle (=ram), see the true face (=Rumpelstiltskin), make decisions (=piranha), forgive (=guy from primary school)

quote:

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Originally posted by Panthera Leo:
I also must say that think it might be interesting to see if that shape shifting woman whatever she was makes any more appearances.

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posted January 08, 2015 07:08 PM            

I want to say that I did like your answer Ayelet and also Florence and GeminKarats answers.You have all been very helpful.

I do see why you mentioned childhood being a vulnerable phase of life and why you said what you did say about the teacher.I would 100% agree with you when you talked about being underwater being to emotions.
I agree my emotions can be incredibly dark and Murky at times.In life I'm not actually top of the food chain although I would say that I may have a little bit more bite at the present moment in time than I did when I was younger.
I also agree I do have a lot of unfinished business with a lot people in my life and even with some who I haven't seen in years who I have let go of the hateful feelings I had towards.I also feel as I am always new business which will like have the same outcome.I imagine are aware of how I feel about but there may be a few who are in the dark about my feelings.I am not the best at playing mind games or hiding my real feelings at least I don't think so.I say this because I have my poker face I imagine that I have that just seeps out so even if I'm being two faced I'm very obvious.Perhaps sometimes I feel as I'll do what I need to get by.Sometimes I hAave to play possum,sometimes I have to use stall tactics ,sometimes I openly attack,sometimes I'm friendly it just depends on what's happening.I have always felt out of place and that I should watch my back.I still have a lot of things to learn and my enemies pick up on that.Although I know there is going to be a great chance I'll be devoured I try to find a way to get through it and find some way to fight back or escape or changes things.As a child people seemed to treat me like I was dumb or worthless like they were so smug it was as if they thought they were always going to have the upper hand over me.I might have been dumb and a hopless backwards child but I did try to learn from my mistakes and some of them I didn't repeat.In my mind even if I'm at the bottom of the food chain I'm determined to still remain standing.If I'm lucky I may learn to play some peoples games better than they do.I watch and learn and try to improve myself.I may even I may even surprise them if I get a chance to repay them and turn the tables.I think people seem to forget sometimes things can go wrong and no matter how great they are even they can be cut down.Although I realise that applies to me to.I do realise I can be cut down I'm not that arrogant that I don't realise I can be sliced down.I think people assume that I think I'm god's gift the whole planet.I just try to keep moving through life living and learning and making mistakes and succeeding whenever I can.

You were definitely right about things you said Ayelet.That dream did remind of my childhood although the thing is in the dream me and the people where our adult selves.The negative images like the ram,the witch or the piranha did worry me a little but I guess in my dream like in real life my mind was all ready scheming trying to find solution a way out.I guess at the same time I felt a little bit crazed and animalistic.I felt as if I was understanding the dangers in the symbolism of the ram,the piranha,the blood in the water and being in dark murky water.It felt like I knew what was happening in the dream when I saw them.I knew I had to stand up to the ram.I knew that the piranha where dangerous and indicated danger and shouldn't be overlooked but at the same time part of me thought they weren't the major problem in this dream as I had bigger problems.I guess I felt like something was messing with me and used piranha and that thing in the tank to try and frighten me that's why I think I just thought I'm just going to walk out of this room as if I hadn't saw what I had just saw.With the witch I think I just had feeling that she wasn't my teacher.Also I guess I had also been reading a lot about shape shifters and tricksters and entities who changed shaped so perhaps that helped me a little bit.Part of me wonders if her looking the skin off my face was her looking to steal my identity.Another thought was that perhaps she would transform me or give me a new face,a new form perhaps a new life.I also thought about types of spirits which could be bargained with.It could be like a pact.I sometimes think of blood pacts so I wondered if the skin off my face would hold a similar meaning.

I also wasn't sure about the whole situation it could have just been a bad dream.It could have been a negative entity.A thought also occurred this could have something to do with an enemy who is a powerful witch or psychic or someone who can influence my dreams.Perhaps the witch wanting the skin off my face was implying I was two faced or a bit of a snake.Maybe they wanted the world to see what's underneath.

I also thought this could also just be a dream brought on by fear,guilt,stress,hatred or worries about my life or real life enemies.

I did like some of your theories and I can see how some of them could be very plausible explanations Geminkarat.
I can see how you could interpret the ram,Rumpelestiltskin,the piranha and my old enemy the way you do.

I would disagree with the part about the part about me being a leader.Sometimes I do lend a helping hand at times but the majority of the time my mind is thinking about helping number one if some good for other people also comes out of it then that's more of an added bonus.When I attacked my old classmate I was itching for a fight and he just gave me the opportunity to let him really know I felt about him .I hit back because I was angry and unapologetic about it.I didn't even spare the rest of my classmates as they got a tongue lashing from me. I'm used to feeling disowned and out of place.As more time goes on I care less about if people actually like me or not.I have have gotten so cold and spiteful that when I sense that people are trying to tear me down or shame me or make feel as If I'm supposed to want or to crave to be loved and adored by them so they can then use that against me I turn into this inhumane thing.They like having the power over me.They want me to want them to validate them and then they throw me shade thinking I care about them or want to be them.If they really knew they would know they were dead to me a long time ago and I have absolutely no love,forgiveness or anything for them. Its like I know how the Snow Queen felt.All I can think of saying to them is that how dare you really think you know me.How dare you put words in my mouth.How dare you think this is about you.No matter what we say or do to each or how we react to each other its all just one big *** for tat game.Sometimes I feel so cold I just feel like its beyond good or evil.

I understand I sound like a monster and I have been way to negative and honest.I started feeling these feelings and I had to write about.I will understand if know one replies back.I am sleepy so I'm going to bed Goodnight.

posted January 09, 2015 12:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ayelet:
My suggestion: Don't bargain with a witch!

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I do not want to be the witch in her dream.

posted January 09, 2015 08:53 PM            

Ayelet and everyone I am really sorry if I do come across as very haughty and if I'm a total know it all.I do want you to know though that I really am glad that everyone here takes the the time to help me even though sometimes it appears I am so jaded that I no longer notice that there is still good things in this world.

I am just stressed out and can't stop the horrible things from running through my mind.I think its hard to
relax and feel loving and be good and true even if I know that's the way to be when you feel like your number is almost up and are beyond being redeemed.All the highs and lows and swings from one extreme to another and the apathy in between are making feel like I'm going to short circuit soon.Sometimes I feel like I don't have a real form like I stay neutral or shift between good and evil ,love and hate depending on my surroundings or who I'm with or the circumstances.I do feel connected to all the parts of my self even the the most horrible parts.I feel tired dealing with both sides in my reality.The duality is hard to maintain one messes up the other .The wicked web I have woven is unravelling fast.Ayelet You are correct when you say that its like I am in an internal and eternal battlefield.It is obvious the wicked web I have woven for myself is unravelling and that's why I'm giving off lots of mixed signals.I feel happy and ready to talk and be sociable the next I feel drained and even small things unimportant things make my darkside come out.Sometimes it is hard to think what to type or to keep maintain my ability to connect with people or at least be able to be the parts of me that are fit for public consumption.To be honest sometimes I wish I could just be a recluse and shut everything out.I find even when I'm not looking for chaos it always finds me. Usually I find I get dragged into everyone else's crappy drama.Then rip each other to shreds and even if I actually to try and genuinely do the right thing and try and put things right things what will happen is they will then decide to kiss and make up and turn on me and scapegoat me.I will admit if I have felt attacked by someone or a group I don't a have problem stirring the pot and pitting them against each other and a lot of the times I haven't felt bad because although I'm very aware of my own flaws some people seem to gang up on other people and start a witch and forget about their own flaws and forget that a lot of the people are just like them and would tear each other apart without a thought if they had the right reason to.I may be bad because I did it and may deserve to be punished but at the same time they should also stop and think what sort of people were they if they were willing to tear each other apart over one small thing what sort of people does that make them. Most of them would think that I was the only bad guy in this scenario.A lot of the time they are the ones who give me the rope to hang themselves with and a lot of the time they hang themselves.

Your probably right about bargaining with witches Ayelet
Dammit I hate my my mania and compulsion to play with fire !

I may have to say a billion hail Mary's while flogging myself in order to Repent

GeminiKarat I appreciate what you said.
Do you think that dream was a lucid dream ? Some of the techniques sound interesting and you haven't even really mentioned specific ones.I really am terrible .I love learning new things its like seeing a big juicy forbidden apple that you know you shouldn't bite but you have to bite it.

You or Ayelet would be witches I would welcome in my dream .It would also be fantastic if you both gave me a good deal as I love a good bargain

posted January 10, 2015 01:53 PM            

I do not enter any dreams. I always found dogs in there.

posted January 10, 2015 06:31 PM            

I can't count on the majority of my family so I will have to make do with the few I can and myself.

I must have caused you some confusion with the way I write GeminKarat since I'm actually not a woman but a gay man.

posted January 10, 2015 09:01 PM            

1.To find the right guy and be able to have a happy life together.

2 To be able to stand on my own to feet and become successful,happy and healthy .

posted January 11, 2015 11:50 AM            

If the only part of the deal is to patient then I could make a deal.

I'm a little curious as to why you would be willing to help me though.You don't really know me that well and you must have surely picked up on my negative vibes and realised I've been a really horrible person lately.

I suppose you also did say you shouldn't bargain with a witch.I suppose that even applies to white witches.That quote "A witch that cannot curse,cannot heal" comes to mind.

I suppose part of me wonders if the universe would punish me for being opportunistic and making a deal and taking the easy way out of things.

I hope I haven't offended you Ayelet .Its just at the present moment I feel like in life I'm skating on thin Ice and have to be very careful about what I say or do.I have to be careful not to get tricked or scammed.