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Author
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Topic: My subconcious is reliving the pain
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Stawr
Moderator Posts: 3110
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 12, 2015 01:41 PM
  
About the week before I got dumped. The suspense of knowing we will work things out or I'll get dumped, and the seeing that he didn't want it to work before he dumped me. This has happened twice so far. IP: Logged |
GeminiKarat
Knowflake Posts: 521
From: Austria
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted February 12, 2015 03:24 PM
The pain and knowing is never a good part in the coping processes, but they are step in the healing process that should not be skipped. At the end of this process there should be a “let go in peace”.IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 3110
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 12, 2015 07:21 PM
In real life yesterday,
I had a picture in my room of us, at the beach on my desk. Throwing it in the trash did not feel right.
Burning it did not feel right.
Ripping it did not feel right.
Hiding it somewhere in the house did not feel right. What felt right was to open up my window and let go of it outside, I watched it go down to the ground and land in the snow face up.
I felt at peace doing this.
Time to time, I would look out the window watching it get snowed on.
I even saw the mail lady walk by it and the garbage man pick up our trash and see it. The picture is covered in snow, but I can still see the photo outline. That was one of my letting go ceremonies.
IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 3110
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 12, 2015 07:24 PM
I was upset this morning, since I had to be at work early and I am so drained. Teared up a little at work but am doing better this evening. IP: Logged |
GeminiKarat
Knowflake Posts: 521
From: Austria
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted February 14, 2015 09:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Stawr:
Throwing it in the trash did not feel right.
Burning it did not feel right.
Ripping it did not feel right.
Hiding it somewhere in the house did not feel right.
You do have a very beautiful way to write about such a sad experience. Every other of these feelings has an allowance to be felt right in the healing process as well. Sometimes those experiences can stay hidden as a cold experience. I wish you a lot of love in your healing process! 
IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 3110
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 14, 2015 05:43 PM
Thanks GeminiKarat, I don't feel like faking how I feel, I don't see the point of acting like none of it meant anything to me. Dreams have been getting better though. I don't believe there is such a thing as ending things on good terms but ending things on respectful terms.
IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 3110
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 15, 2015 08:38 AM
He is still in my dreams. They aren't happy dreams, but they aren't nightmares. IP: Logged |
Ra
Moderator Posts: 1260
From: Kentucky
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 16, 2015 04:23 AM
 IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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