posted March 31, 2016 03:30 PM            

So.... Sounds like you've got some 'indirect' communications going on with you and your ex-spouse?

If you are still on speaking terms....
Why don't you in a round-about way approach your exspouse directly and gently 'ask' if anything is going on that you should know about? ....

Is there some kind of guilt in your mind that you still deal with and are trying to process? Maybe you were 'told' that you usurped maybe a little 'too much' from your internal male-energy/authority while in your relationship with (ex)spouse?

If you had had to lay down some boundaries with him THEN, maybe it could be a warning that you'll need to gently re-assert those inside yourself, NOW, perhaps?

Time to examine family dynamics with your family of origin? Is the power-balance a little off? Where do you need to apply more of the one energy for another?

How about your brother?... Have you spoken to him recently? ... Maybe he has something to tell you?

I see your 'alien' face.... Did this cause you to feel anger that he did this (in the dream)? Sense of betrayal, perhaps? Do you feel that any action you've taken recently in some other relationship you have, left you with a sense of betrayal of self (or the other)? How can you reckon that inside yourself? .... Might have to stand up and firm, or stand-down and de-escalate energies somewhere?

Instead of "skirting" around your issues, time to 'get your pants on, gurl' *snap* -- LOL

posted March 31, 2016 04:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Hi Bella! ..... Reminds me of that old male adage of I'll be wearing the pants around here!!!

So.... Sounds like you've got some 'indirect' communications going on with you and your ex-spouse?

If you are still on speaking terms....
Why don't you in a round-about way approach your exspouse directly and gently 'ask' if anything is going on that you should know about? ....

Is there some kind of guilt in your mind that you still deal with and are trying to process? Maybe you were 'told' that you usurped maybe a little 'too much' from your internal male-energy/authority while in your relationship with (ex)spouse?

If you had had to lay down some boundaries with him THEN, maybe it could be a warning that you'll need to gently re-assert those inside yourself, NOW, perhaps?

Time to examine family dynamics with your family of origin? Is the power-balance a little off? Where do you need to apply more of the one energy for another?

How about your brother?... Have you spoken to him recently? ... Maybe he has something to tell you?

I see your 'alien' face.... Did this cause you to feel anger that he did this (in the dream)? Sense of betrayal, perhaps? Do you feel that any action you've taken recently in some other relationship you have, left you with a sense of betrayal of self (or the other)? How can you reckon that inside yourself? .... Might have to stand up and firm, or stand-down and de-escalate energies somewhere?

Instead of "skirting" around your issues, time to 'get your pants on, gurl' *snap* -- LOL

You have the Right to Clear Communications. Step forward.

---

Thank you for your reply! We have not spoken since 2011. I think about him here and there. But I have no desire to speak to him at this time. I feel like I am not ready to have a conversation with him. The wounds are healed, but I am not ready for communicating. He probably doesn't even know I'm alive! LOL that's how much distance its been since 2011. What is he trying to tell me? Oh gosh, I do not know, its all a mystery to me, to be quite honest with you. And if he does have something to tell me, I hope it's good for christ sakes.

posted March 31, 2016 07:43 PM            

I hope that was just 'the pepperoni on that pizza' that gave you a bad dream!

I hope you feel better soon!

posted April 01, 2016 10:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Or - perhaps you took responsibility for something he was the actual responsible for.

---

Ayelet...{{ }} I lived in an abusive situation with my last husband. There's a difference between getting along together with someone whom you basically get along with in a more-equal way. We all have personality traits, ego-things, to temper in our lives. But living under the roof with someone abusive is a whole other matter.

Sometimes it is sooo difficult for the 'female' part of the energy to assert herself in the 'male'-abusive-dominant home environment. My ex used psychological tactics a lot. One of those is called Gaslighting... really really destructive to a person who was raised with emotionally (and physically) abusive dominant (sometimes violent) male-energies. Whether in a female or male body, it's the overall energetic pattern of expression in the environment you are subjected to, which makes the 'imprint' on the psyche. When this is not resolved, more of same is drawn to self who still battles to establish 'the balance' inward and out.

So,.... yes, we all need to be mindful of how we assert ourselves in others lives. And, we need to 'know' that other, and the things that they might have been traumatized with. It's not always 'how' it looks.

posted April 01, 2016 01:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
I appreciate your insights, Ayelet.

---

I will second that!

posted April 02, 2016 01:20 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by GeminiKarat:
I have my difficulties to make up my mind. mirage29 and Ayelet had some good points. Please read mine as an additional input.

Please choose an opinion:
#1: This dream indicates to bring back(=wants trousers) the male energies(=trousers) to man in a relationship(=ex).
#2: This dream indicates a possible insecurity(=ex) with regards to male protection(=trousers).

---

posted April 02, 2016 01:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Hi Bella Taurus!
I think Mirage was right on insinuating you may have been the one wearing the pants.. you might be feeling he is trying to claim back some masculine element. Or - perhaps you took responsibility for something he was the actual responsible for

Does any of these resonates?

---

posted April 02, 2016 01:23 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ayelet:
Thank you Mirage and GeminiKarat!

---

posted April 02, 2016 02:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by bella_taurus:
Yes, it does...I took full responsibility for the demise if the marriage. It was such a dark time. I ****** up.

But I'm still trying to find my way back to happiness...years later.

---

posted April 03, 2016 12:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Bella?!... YOU Absolutely are my Hero and my much-needed Inspiration today. Thank you for sharing. {{ }}

---

posted April 03, 2016 12:07 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by GeminiKarat:
I wish you all the best to find your connection!

---