posted July 01, 2016 09:09 PM            

What's the meaning of this dream? I've talked with a friend about the dream and he thinks going down is going into my subconsciousness, and the gay rapist is my dark side. Am I repressing things? What am I repressing? It really made me upset that I got involved in such a dark ugly matter right after singing carelessly "Que sera sera...".. Why did it have to happen? I know I'm not being reasonable, I mean, hey, it's just a dream, nothing really happened... but this is not the way I feel... I feel something unpleasant has happened and I want to understand it.

posted July 04, 2016 03:32 AM            

quote:

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Going to the toilet: Expressing yourself; releasing feelings, often creative; letting go of tightly held attitudes, the past, or sexuality; acceptance of ones own natural drives and needs.

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posted July 06, 2016 05:46 PM            

(music) Que Sera Sera (Doris Day, lyrics) [2:32] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcWbZUgymkw

lyrics

When I was just a 'little girl'
I asked my mother, what will I be---
Will I be pretty{female}, will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me.

When I grew up, and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead---
Will we have rainbows, day after day?
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be---
Will I be handsome{male}, will I be rich?
I tell them tenderly.

refrain
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

What a wonderful Dreaming Mind you have, Ayelet!! {{ }} (And GK's suggestions on point.)

You're sooooo 'musical'!!! LOL. Why NOT 'music therapy'...? You even utilize the modality of song WITHIN your dreams, singing out its wisdoms! *Love*

PLEASE note--- That song Que Sera, is overall POSITIVE, and Uplifting-- It does NOT predict pain and demise?

posted July 07, 2016 07:20 PM            

If you mean self-doubts about whether to 'become' a counselor yourself??? then I do understand what you're saying there. In fact, that's one of the reasons I hadn't became a counselor myself, even though I'd had (briefly) that kind of training before. (Including shadow work.) I've experienced a lot of emotional abuse in my life time. I make an awesome friend, but I'd hesitate about thinking about becoming an actual counselor (in traditional office-setting type thing). I think I could probably be a strong co-pilot in helping to run group therapies, but I'm not the solo-type person here (at least, I didn't think so... but all things are subject to change, with experience, is what I'd guess).

When you're 'sensitive' to energies (like, if you're an empath) there can be wounds you already have had, that create a vulnerable spot for potential negative-thoughtforms to attach themselves?

I guess having training to become ninjas at building STRONG protective force-shields for our auras and energetic fields could help that? LOL

Like an immune system works in a healthy body, one needs to be able to surround the negative-stories, negative-comments, and discard/flush out all that crap (~~your toilet! haha).

Doesn't help when we accept and hold on to everything negative that (important and esteemed) people in your past spoke over your life (in grievous error most times *forgive them for they know not what they began, with their care-lessness*). You must "Break" the Power of their words, and any bonding effect it had to things inside you... As children (whether devotee type of children, or natural ones), the words people use can make or break... for a lifetime's effect.

Words spoken about or into your life (whether aware or not) can toxify your present, and builds walls between you and having and obtaining a future you want to Build...

You're a Blessing, Ayelet. And you're here to experience that profoundly through your life.

You are Valuable. And you can OWN that and Trust that you are ~WORTH being cared about. Even, to having the kind of Love you had dreamed of before.

You have permission to Forgive yourself for anything you even imagined you had ever ever ever done wrong in your life. You have permission to LET GO of baggage... let that strip off you. God, is Good........ Doesn't matter what your religion is, God paid for EVERYBODY's transgressions. So, why not forgive your own self, and BE like God, in that way.

You are Loved.... Receive that. Be Healed, in every way possible. Talk nice to yourself-- YOU deserve that the most of all! Let the other process itself out, like snap-static. It stings, it sparks, but it's not the REAL you. ...

The real you, is fully Human-- and Humans Deserve Love.

Enjoy! And Talk NICE to your Innerself! Nurture with Positive talk, and just 'hold' gently, when you can't find the words. Hold-space, harmlessly as possible.

posted July 08, 2016 10:38 PM            

And thank you for your positive suggestions, to talk nicely to my inner-self...

I thought about becoming a counselor, but I don't know if I can... I have internal setbacks. I thought about it because there is nothing I enjoy more than being around people and close relationships, and I love to help and be needed. But I don't know whether I can do it. As for a solo-act, I'm definitely for it.

I don't know how to shield my aura. I guess there are imagination techniques for it, but I am not gonna use them. When I see auras, I may engage in such excercises. Don't get me wrong, I am sure they exist... I just don't see much point operating in the darkness.

The power of words is indeed immense... and the song you posted echo this truth so beautifully and wisely...

posted July 09, 2016 03:59 PM            

:yourstar:

Ayelet ... From other threads we've been on, I understand what you are saying about 'internal setbacks'.

But if that's your dream, it wouldn't hurt to pursue it, or something very close to it.

There's the kind of learning that people go to school and get degrees to learn about. And, there's the Experiential School of hard-knocks in life. One is head-knowledge, the other involves MUCH more maturing and breadth of knowledge through DIRECT experience. (This is what You have!! {hug})

The things that happen to us in life can create great gouges and troughs and craters and caves inside our soul. .... Darkness and dark nights can seem soooooo cruel, so filled with pain.

But as the healing starts, and tears flow, the Waters of Life and Healing can fill your cisterns, and become life-giving Springs for others to heal themselves from. 'As I heal, I heal you'....

I think of the myth of the goddess Castalia-- who is the symbol for Poetry. She fled the advances of Apollo, and perished in the stream; the gods turned her into a Fountain... and those who drink from her depths, become imbued with lyrical talents and poetic prose. (asteroid 4769).

Sometimes, the best counselors are people who have 'been there, got the T-shirt'. (Transits-shirt, is what I like to add....)

You're about to have a birthday in the next few weeks. ... If you're finding yourself pondering life, that's part of the process of birthday times. (And there are some strong transits in water right now too. I know that you and I have a Sun-Jupiter Connection, and there are some WONDERFUL WONDERFUL Healings possible right now. I hope you're catching these. It's happening on some of the deepest layers... whether you're conscious of this or not. tChiron in Pisces is trining your Sun, and will be for another year and more.... Chiron is a Healing Energy for people who are spiritually based. Christ/Chiron healing wounds. And that can mean looking into the caves, and trusting that every tear, every emotion that is contained in these, WILL work for The Good in you. Allow it. But BE KIND to yourself... allow the River to cleanse you... all you gotta do is hold hands. The water will do its work, and leave you with Chambers of Treasure, Ayelet. ... You see what's happening with LFDX at YW? There's a gifting happening for YOU, too. Write, Cry, Listen, Cry, Write, Rage, Cry, Write..... and GROW. Stronger than Before (which can feel really really weak'ish and vulnerable in the process of that happening).

You'll be coming on to some long-range transits which can also make you doubt your sanity... It's Kundalini-based energy (40-44). Trust that God has your back. (Read Barbra Hand Clow's book on Chiron, Liquid Light of Sex .. hehe, pretty racy title? ... She explains some of the midlife transits, and what happens during those years.) Can lead to your enlightenment, Ayelet..... GOD is a God of Second-Chances. What happened before?, opened up a horrendous wound in you.... That was their purpose. NOW, you will have the REAL experience that they in figment could never fulfill for you. Still MUCH work ahead, but you will have EVERYTHING you need, to have what it is you most-desired. God wouldn't have put that in you, if it wasn't for you to ultimately have. You will be adequately prepared... sometimes that doesn't seem like fun, but when you 'capture', you'll know what this whole thing was about for you.

You have the Heart, Ayelet... "there is nothing I enjoy more than being around people and close relationships, and I love to help and be needed. But I don't know whether I can do it.
As for a solo-act, I'm definitely for it."

You may go through terrible dis-illusion-ments, and pain and processings.... I know that you have felt like things are not going to work for you, and that you'd want to give it all up.

YES, get Grounded, and learn how to be just human. You have to do the human things, and perfect those, in order to be able to handle your own life, so that you can help others with theirs? .... Just know that God Holds your Dream, if you need to lay it aside a while. Grounding is Good. Necessary.

He'll remind you again, when the Due Times come.

Auras....
I'd been interested in supernatural things since a teen. I'd heard that term for maybe 5 years or more before I 'actually' understood what one was. ...I had gone to an esp-class that was advertised (when I was in college). The very first night there, the woman talked about auras. She said she was going to send a color up in her aura and we were to tell her what that was. ... Well omg, I had no idea that something so every-day to me (looks like soft background lighting, like on portraits) was something there that other people couldn't see. She 'showed' me what an aura was through sending the color! ... so cool. Now, MANY many people can see these.

I mention it because I've been in group therapies before, where 'it happened' that some of the people were up against the right-setting for me to notice their aura. There was this one really super-stubborn woman that everyone tried EVERYTHING to help her with. She'd basically attack people, as her response. Towards the end of our time, I 'saw' the color again (for when people are in denial and lying to themselves-- ..and I'm glad when I see that in my OWN aura, coz it gives me clues). And (without her knowing I saw this), I said she felt like she was lying to herself...... and her acknowledgment (to herself) broke the ice, she admitted it, and a beautiful healing happened for her. (and ~oy, she had been quite brutal to me---- some people will fight you hard!!! LOL).

So, if you ever get the chance to learn this skill, do it (when you're ready). It will help you in counseling others. (and even for your self)

But you need more than just-imagination to build-up your aura or force-shields. It's not just done saying white-light. There's an "application" to it. (I've been through a few exercises of that, but I NEED to REALLY REALLY learn it, too. So, you're not alone there, Ayelet. There's a technique, and SOME people ARE adepts at teaching this. Thing is, to know 'who' they are?? LOL ...)

Oh yes..... And Prayer, and (for me Worshipping God), "adds" that palpability. I really need to relocate to a new place, and I hope that I can get BACK into spiritual practice I used to do, as far as studying, prayers, writing... I used to devote minimum of 2 hours a day to that, intensively, long ago, then another ~1 to 2 hours later. (I was in my 30s, then 'married the wrong person' LOL!! ... Solo-act??? sometimes can be better for your spiritual life! ~depends on who you attract, I guess. *grin*

Oh gosh, I got a bit gabby there??? LOL

Power of words IS immense.... especially when it's imbued with Love, Ayelet.

:mountain1: :heart: ....

posted July 11, 2016 06:09 PM            

I am not yet 40. I will look for the midlife aspects, though, to prepare myself. After all, I am still alive, and my chart is ticking. I just think that at the year 2008 I have created for myself a whole new karma which cannot be traced in my natal chart.
So you say I should prepare to feeling like I go nuts? Gee I hope not!

I am also interested in the supernatural from an early age, and thought I could see a hint to the aura, but have decided it was an illusion (One may see the complementary colour of the colour of an object around it, or, in case of a human, see the complementary colour of his\her shirt's colour, for example). But in 2008, for a brief moment my third eye has opened and I actually thought I saw, one time, rainbow auras around people!
And it was lovely.

I AM very human. I just aspire to be super-human. Or angelic. I think it's good to aspire, but not to lie to myself saying I'm already there. And I know what you think about all this, that human frailty is an important component of our nature, and should be respected. Agreed.

I think it's cool you can see auras. Can you see them from a distance as well?

Good night

posted July 13, 2016 11:36 PM            

eahhh, I'm just going through something right now. It's kinda heavy on me. Lots of things tumbling around.