posted January 18, 2019 06:48 AM            

I also looked at myself in a mirror for the first time in this dream, and was fairly aware that it was all dream world storyline.

But when I looked at my reflection, I looked a but like a future self (my hair was longer than it currently is, specifically), and my left eye was fogged over- like when an animal has cataracts or something. I remember noticing in my dream but didn't have much time to focus on it before I woke up. (Usually as I gain awareness Im dreaming, I start waking up).

I've always had waking world issue with my eyes- I was born with poor vision, and my left eye has always veen weak and prone to turning inward. What I've always understood about myself/spirituality is that the left side represents the spirit/inner self.. and I have been pondering over this for many years now.

I wasn't just falling asleep tonight when I was struck with the urge to post this here and seek help on this matter .. If anyone has any idea, I would greatly appreciate it. I fear I have lost part of myself and that part has decayed or is ill... I've never posted here before, but thank you in advance even for just reading this.

posted January 19, 2019 03:02 PM            

This, I think, is a healthy dream.

haha, I feel I have a little bit of 'insider' information from recent posts you've made on "Ceres and Loss" --
Asteroid Forum and
Interrelationships Forum

You introduced it speaking about 'family', and a relationship you recently had that hurt your feelings.

In another post, you mentioned --
Ceres square Uranus.
Uranus square Moon.
.. therefore, T-Square
with Ceres opp Moon.

{If I'm wrong, please let me know.
ALSO!, is either Ceres or Uranus in retrograde in your chart?}

I'm going to be adding MORE to the Asteroid Forum thread you started on 'Ceres and Loss'.

Back to Dream.... LOL

Instead of just being 'the observer' of your life, you are looking in earnest at what's going on.

You feel self-conscious of your flaws, and mention things that you think make you less-acceptable {less than perfect, self-image}.

Owning yourself, and looking at your self-perceptions, shows that you have a Willingness to change.

Possibly shows that you are considering the way that {you perceive-- true or false} that others look at you. Maybe you feel sort of stuck in the 'now' while trying to imagine and really trying to see 'who you are' and will be, in the future.

Start to look at your 'thoughts'.. the way you 'see' yourself.

Your 'hair' hasn't changed yet..
One source I've read said that Hair can represent Spirituality, the ways we 'control' life; our identity, and, can also represent male sexuality.

haha, Look in that mirror and tell yourself how Suave and Debonair you ARE!!!! ..
You extra-ordinary "good-lookin' guy!!" you. haha

Seeing cataract eye in the dream??
(and you don't have this condition in the natural?)
Could be your desire to have clearer insight.
You see something as a block in your perception?

Since you had mentioned Ceres, and your family?

The stressful aspects described??--
quote/paraphrase

"These can point to conflicts between yourself and what you wanted, and what those of your family were/are.

Moon-- your emotional fulfillment.
Uranus-- unreliable erratic nurturing experiences that might lead to difficulty in forming emotional bonds...
difficulties in listening to and "trusting" one's own thoughts and intuitions.

{REF Demetra George, Douglas Block.
Asteroid Goddesses.}

(music) Reflection (Two versions-- Disney's Mulan with Lee Salonga; then the original version sung by pop-singer
Christina Aguilera lyrics) [6:04] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0lG8YorBsU

posted January 19, 2019 03:12 PM            

You seem to be interested in spirituality and self-improvement..

It's OKAY to just be a regular human sometimes.

Some things DO come up that you have to really LOOK at, from a straight stripped down perspective.

If you're a spirituality person, and have placed a high-bar of expectation on self, this can make you feel weak and inadequate to be seeing self with an earthly 'as-is' mundane perception?

You are Both!! Divinely Human, walking amongst us in the profane world.

Be Very Blessed!

BTW.. What you are experiencing (being IN THAT BODY) is VERY much what this Eclipse at 0-Leo is about. We are IN its energies right now.
Even will happen tomorrow night (1/20) Sunday to Monday Morning (based on EST, LL time.)

Let it FLOW... 'own' your feelings.
The universe is helping to expose and strip away things that get in our way.

LEO.. "Play!" ..

posted January 19, 2019 07:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
No.... You're not 'losing' a part of your self.
You're "owning" something you're trying to "reflect on" and examine-- regarding your self-perception, and, your relationships.

This, I think, is a healthy dream.

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Interesting! I would have to agree though, as usually I can tell from my emotional state whether it was distressing or not. I was more ... curious? When I woke up from this one, rather than distressed. I'm surprised I didn't click this initially!

quote:

---

You introduced it speaking about 'family', and a relationship you recently had that hurt your feelings.

In another post, you mentioned --
Ceres square Uranus.
Uranus square Moon.
.. therefore, T-Square
with Ceres opp Moon.

---

Close! I have Uranus loosely opposite my Moon, and Ceres squares both of them. (Cap Uranus, Gem Moon, Libra Ceres).

quote:

---

You feel self-conscious of your flaws, and mention things that you think make you less-acceptable {less than perfect, self-image}.

Owning yourself, and looking at your self-perceptions, shows that you have a Willingness to change.

Possibly shows that you are considering the way that {you perceive-- true or false} that others look at you. Maybe you feel sort of stuck in the 'now' while trying to imagine and really trying to see 'who you are' and will be, in the future. Start to look at your 'thoughts'.. the way you 'see' yourself.

---

I think I have a fairly good relationship with my flaws (except when I'm really caught in my emotional feelings; then everything sucks!! for a moment, until the rational side of me adds 'okay but not really, but still' to any negative thought that comes to mind). I do have a few things I'm a little self conscious of- and I think my eyes would be the biggest struggle I'm still kind of hanging onto. I even have someone I follow on social media who has a turned in eye and they are just wonderful and mentally helpful for accepting any 'issues' I might have there.

That being said, I have always had a sort of 'stuck in the now' feeling. I find it difficult to think or imagine too far into my future for some reason, and it's excessively foggy and tired-feeling. (I do have Neptune in the 10/11th however, and loosely conjunct Uranus from one side, Saturn from the other). I tend to be very 'in the now' whether I want to or not. The only time I have an easier imagination for the future is if it's more on the collective's future than ever my own).

I have definitely been putting a lot of mental work into how I perceive myself lately (I always have, but especially lately) and have been uncovering a lot of false truths I was quite shocked to find still hanging around. It was very obvious once they were finally brought to light that they were false, as well. I have been worrying more lately as well though, who I might be in the future. I've had a lot of projection upon me this past few months about who I am and how I am not living to anyone's standard of life and they were very upset about that. I was too, but mostly because of the projection. It really has highlighted how much I don't even know what my own standard is, and how I really struggle to commit to any responsibility for myself. Hm.

And haha! The hair not growing was actually a typo ... It WAS longer in the dream. I caught that when I saw your reply and have now fixed it in the original post. ;;

With the Ceres posts, yes... They were specifically about a non-familial relationship trigger, but did have to do somewhat with my family as well since that's the nature of Ceres/Moon and such. My father (he passed away suddenly last year) was also very heavily Libra, and very much made up my Ceres influence. The romantic-inclined relationship I've come to realize was triggering a lot of those emotions and projections, as well. Trying to grasp at something I've been missing longer than I've known the romantic person.

Excellent song recc I do love that film and that song in particular. Resonates very strongly.

(Boy this reply is getting long, almost done, I swear!)

I think I have a happy relationship of being a spiritual human, as it were. I like being human, have never had much issue with it as I know it's what I'm here to experience. I also know I have connection to the divinity of things (no specific source there, just ... whatever source feels right at the time, I guess! they all seem the same, to me). And yes, this ECLIPSE is happening right over my South Node/Chiron, and I have definitely been in and out of my feelings since the gate opening back on the 5th. It's been a wild ride. I do feel clearer, but still stuck on the confusion of myself. It can be hard to make decisions about myself and actually stick to them, if that makes any relevant sense.

posted January 30, 2019 09:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Thank you for your feedback, Implosions!

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