posted May 27, 2019 12:48 PM            

It's been 6 months now. Grief takes time to process and has stages to move through. There may be repeating cycles of needing to let go. Have you have sought out some professional grief counseling?

Your dreams of him seeming so-detached and having a devil-may-care attitude could also be a reflection of your mind and emotions coping with this loss---
It's like a deep silent questioning (which is natural, even if it doesn't logically make sense).

e.g. How could he have been so 'detached' and mean and uncaring (devil) as to have LEFT at the time did-- just before a Beautiful holiday as an 'engaged' couple???

e.g. You were to have been 'married' by now??? 'You left me behind, without saying Goodbye????'

Even if your logical mind intellectually moves through and has settled lots of issues, there will still be the triggers of times(dates) around special-memories you've had. His birthday. The day you planned to marry. Valentines.

Was he in the US Military? … Today is Memorial Day.

Like Ayelet, I have not experienced astral projection--

Ever thought about some kind of counseling sessions with a medium? Someone seasoned, with good reputation, spiritually mature and grounded, who help people through the process of grieving?

On your own--
You could create 'rituals' where you commemorate important days, important things you had done for each other, make meals you cooked for each other (make the table very Nice) with flowers; celebrate the memories of books and movies you both liked, places in nature-- spend time steeping in the loving warmth of those times you had together.

The memories are 'in your cells' now. Your Mind and Heart. You know, our body regenerates itself, every single cell, every 7 years?

Give yourself Time.
The Love remains part of your soul, forever.

Did you ever see the movie, Ghost?

(topic) Love Everlasting (final scene, movie Ghost, 1990) [4:10] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw-5QT9065s

yt notes quote
Sam (Patrick Swayze), living as a ghost, discovers his death wasn't just a random robbery gone bad.
To help him reconnect with the love of his life, Molly (Demi Moore), and solve his own murder, he enlists the talents of a skeptical psychic (Oscar®-winner Whoopi Goldberg), who doesn't even believe her own abilities.
Ghost is a supernatural mystery-thriller that will cross over into your heart and never leave.
Ghost will surprise you, delight you, make you believe.
Patrick Swayze plays a ghost who teams up with a psychic (Whoopi Goldberg) to uncover the truth behind his murder -- and to rescue his sweetheart (Demi Moore) from a similar fate.
"The word of mouth is that Ghost is a must-see romance," says Entertainment Weekly. Ditto to that!
endquote