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Author Topic:   Recurring dream of my boyfriend being gay
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake

Posts: 3232
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014

posted November 10, 2020 07:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had two dreams now in the last week of my boyfriend coming out as gay to me.

First one was he and I were in this white room with a bed. It was our bedroom in the dream but we only had a twin-bed. I was in the bed and he was sitting in front of me. He came out to me and explained he has been seeing a guy behind my back, which in the dream I already knew of but just did not want to confront him about until I had evidence. In the dream, I remember remembering everyone telling me why did i not expect it with the way he’s been acting. This first dream, he brought in the guy he was seeing and then ignored me the whole time to flirt with him. Then he decided to run off with the guy and I woke up.

The second dream, he was gay again and we were living in this house with his big family. He came out to me but wanted to make things work. I got very angry with him. I ran away for a while. Bumped into a friend and somehow went into a gay bar. I felt so uncomfortable with what I saw there especially with what just recently happened so I walked out and left my friend after explaining to her what happened. Our place was in the subdivision that I used to live in in the Philippines. I went back to the subdivision for some reason but I did not go straight home. Instead, I ran further into one of the streets until I found a hiding place. I hid in a corner of this one building that was abandoned. There were two stray dogs that helped me hide. They both comforted me while I was hiding. The one left after, the other one stayed. Few people then started coming in and out, old classmates of mine from back home. One of them, their mom had an office upstairs. They just went about their day not minding that I was there hiding. The dog tried to cheer me up. I played with him for a bit and then decided to come home so I could feed him. I went upstairs into my classmate’s mom’s law office to grab something I brought that somebody found but couldn't figure out whose it was. The mom was okay with me grabbing my stuff, even pointed to where it was underneath this giant vintage-looking chair. I grabbed this colourful paper bag and then went downstairs to get the dog. I gave him a treat from the bag before we left the building. Somehow the dog got us a ride in this giant yellow and black construction vehicle and the driver was kind enough to drive us home. Everyone in that subdivision knew his family. The driver dropped us off at the family’s place. We came inside through the back door. Everyone of his family was saying they were worried sick looking for me when I came in. There were bunk beds in the back of the house where I saw his teenage sister sleeping next to this girl who was my age. I got even more angry. I stormed off to the front of the house. There was a female family member who tried to talk to me about what’s going on. I tried to explain how angry and hurt I was because my boyfriend just out of nowhere explained this to me and expected me to just go with it and make it work. I was going to confront him about the girl sleeping next to his sister too. He came out through the front door and there was a gate before you could step outside. There were also cement stairs leading from the door to the dark teal gate. he walked downstairs and avoided me. He went straight to open the gate and two people, one of my old male classmates (known for selling drugs) and another guy, tried to sell him a drug. My boyfriend took the drug, smelled it, and tested it before he gave it back to them. He said it was not a good kind of the drug but wanted to take it anyway. But he didn’t even have cash on him. So he turned around and asked me and his female family member if we had some cash. We both said no, so he turned the guys away. Then I tried to confront him about the whole thing and tried to explain how it has made me feel with so much rage in my heart. I was got so angry that woke up.


This has been a recurring dream now and every single time I went through it, I was very angry and in pain. I am not in any way homophobic in real life, but I was just so angry in the dream. Mainly cause he first tried to hide it and then came out in the first dream, and in the second one, he came out and still wanted to make our relationship work while being gay.

I don't know what this means but I am quite concerned since every single time it has evoked such strong emotions in me.

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vansio
Knowflake

Posts: 1363
From: the outskirts of Delphi
Registered: Dec 2017

posted November 10, 2020 07:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Keep it simple—the dream isn’t about your IRL boyfriend but interacting with your own personal masculine side: the animus.

I haven’t read your post in detail yet but just want to offer this interpretative guidance in the meantime.

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Ayelet
Moderator

Posts: 3412
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 14, 2020 06:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Solar_Leo_Queen,
Like Vansio has suggested, your boyfriend in the dream could be representing something else like the male principle or animus. It also might be related to him. I have this idea that maybe these emotions of anger and hurt are coming to the surface right now, maybe because your relationship is stronger than before. Maybe you feel safe enough in order to let subconscious fears come up as you can deal with them. It does not necessarily has to do with homosexuality. It may have to do with issues of loyalty. Maybe you're more worried of him putting himself (i.e. male lover) first in the relationship than having a "regular", hetrosexual affair.
Whether that resonates at all or far from the real meaning, you're more than welcome to share your thoughts.

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