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Author Topic:   Long Ex dream
ilunatique
Knowflake

Posts: 792
From:
Registered: Jun 2014

posted March 30, 2022 04:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ilunatique     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just want to write this down to release because ever since I woke up I feel my heart broke and Im on the verge of crying

I have the gift of putting my head on the pillow thinking of a person or situation and I will dream of it. But with some people, situations, it just doesn't happen. Like with this ex, dreams will happen but not when I think specifically

I dream-

I dream I am walking on some unknown streets mid-day and I want to go watch a movie. I am headed to the cinema, I don't remember what movie I wanted to see but I go there. Standing in line to enter, I see my ex and I just... want to interact with him!

He did not want to go see the movie, he was just standing around the cinema like a security guard. I get out of line and just go straight to him to discuss - for some reason he treated me as a stranger - he did not know me. I interacted with him like it was the first time seeing him, but it was my secret desire to get back together with him so I told him that I want to go out with him on a date and he was happy to do so.

Days pass, months pass (it really felt like a long time in my dream) and I see myself visiting his house daily and spending time with him. He had a simple, weird life, all alone besides my visits. One day, my dream focuses on a specific visit and I am at his home. He was getting ready to leave, he still worked at the cinema but this time it seemed like he would spend his entire nights watching movies/at the cinema (?). He leaves and I am alone in his house. Before I go to sleep, I am curious to check around his belongings and I see that his phone has multiple layers of duct tape and it was unusable. Weird. Looking at his house, he had nothing going on besides visiting the cinema and sitting all alone. I go to sleep.

I wake up and he comes home. Another weird thing - I never saw him sleep. It's true that in real life he also had insomnia but this was just too much.

He sits next to me and we talk. Just talking and seeing him made me the happiest person ever - it did not matter he had nothing. For a moment he looks a bit around his belongings and takes some photos - the photos had a small child photographed while having fun. It looked like some pictures of myself when I was a kid and I said nothing. I don't remember what he was saying - he was just looking at the pictures nostalgic but then he quickly turned his head to me. Then checked the photos again. Then checked me again. He was starting to see that it was me...

Our prior conversations were not memorable but this one was:
Him - By any chance… are you related to “ilunatique”? (Agitated)
Me - Yes, I am…
Him - But you do not look at all like ilunatique… however your energy is so similar and specific, I cannot ignore this!
He sits down in my face and points to my face.
Him: Ilunatique, if this is you… I dont recognise you, you changed, but your soul shines even more.. that is a good thing..
Me - Yes, I changed.. i am a better person now.. after all I am more mature and I grew out of my issues, you know?.. but its me.. its not a relative.. its me.
(Now you would expect to see a happy ending, right?)
Him - Do you know how much you made me suffer then? You broke me and you broke my life. I had days when I could barely breathe, I was losing myself. I am leaving.

He stormed off the house and disappeared. I was running outside after him screaming that “I changed… you saw it”.. but he just ran off. Looking at him running, I started crying and sobbing.

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Ayelet
Moderator

Posts: 3792
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 30, 2022 08:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I felt how deep and torturing this dream must have been for you. It encompasses a long period when you two are back together, and then you lose him again. It seems like you're reliving your love story, seeing it perhaps from a different angle. You can see how much you love him unconditionally, and you blame yourself for your seperation.
You obviously have a deep connection. Maybe try to be empathetic toward yourself as you are toward him. Maybe you had your own reasons to act the way you did, and even if the reason is you not being mature enough, that is ok too.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 160189
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 12, 2022 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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ilunatique
Knowflake

Posts: 792
From:
Registered: Jun 2014

posted July 22, 2022 07:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ilunatique     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
“be empathetic toward yourself as you are toward him. Maybe you had your own reasons to act the way you did, and even if the reason is you not being mature enough, that is ok too.“ That is true. You are so full of wisdom Ayelet

Funny bump… I just understood lately something about dreaming my ex. Or maybe just my assumption

Ive dreamt in the past that my ex had a daughter, her hair blue. It was our daughter. The dreams always felt so real that I would wake up and for a few minutes I would ask myself if its really true

Well, I believe the “daughter” is the artistic blog that my ex created after our break up. The art he makes is based on us

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Ayelet
Moderator

Posts: 3792
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 24, 2022 06:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, ilunatique 🌺 That is quite an observation concerning you and your ex mutual "daughter". A blue hair is synonimous with the artistic endeavor as it is not a regular hair color but something out of the ordinary, and the blue might signify sadness as well.

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