posted April 29, 2023 12:42 PM            

I haven't talked to him since I was 16 (about 25 years ago) because of circumstances outside our control. I've often thought about him, though not much lately.

And then this. I don't feel like going into the dream now (though it's short enough), I just wanted to know if anyone dreamed something that made you think someone died and then find out it had. If so, was the dream blatant about it (like "I'm here to say goodbye" or showing the funeral or some such), or was it just puzzling with a bad feeling?

I could just be neurotic about it, especially as so many people I've been close to have died in the last few years (to the point I instantly feel anxiety if I get a phone call at an unexpected time now). He was likely autistic and also likely know a life of misery (more due to his background). He has no social media page that I could find, and I've looked off and on through the years. I didn't really expect him to anyway. He was in his own world most of them time and I was one of the very few he allowed in.

I just felt so sad upon waking up this morning. I don't think I could find him. Maybe a PI could if I spent hundreds of dollars, but I'm not sure he'd want me to even if that were possible, or how I could help.

At least if he's dead, he seemed happy (at least nonchalant) about it, and just saying one final goodbye, probably not intending me any distress.