posted March 03, 2006 11:58 PM            

Institute of Reality Asylum
3/3/06

Escapee on the loose in your area. Man undergoing Reality Stabilization Therapy escaped into the community.

Last spotted in your area 3/1, approximately 10:00 PM mumbling about Bush cutting education spending.

Delusional but considered more dangerous to himself than others.
Answers to God
Addicted to Fairy Tales

If seen, do not approach. If contact unavoidable DO NOT force reality on subject that Bush increased education spending 137%. Escapee becomes snappish and petulant when confronted with reality. If contact unavoidable, try soothing escapee with favorite fairy tale, Goldilocks and the 3 terrorist freedom fighters.

Call institute for pickup.

Institute of Reality
jwhop, Director

posted March 04, 2006 12:18 AM              

jwhop.....you be funnee.....

posted March 04, 2006 12:51 AM            

God that is hilarious as a matter of fact!!

This IS the Political Humor thread is it not? I didn't look into this clip or whether it was correct at all. It is damn funny, though. Would you take questions after a speech to students at a university without first attempting to anticipate what kind of questions might be asked? Our brilliant president would.

posted March 07, 2006 04:50 PM            

This is how history began...

History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast & live on fish & lobster in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented yet, so while our early ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of "the Liberal movement". Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, Marines, athletes and generally anyone who works productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.