posted August 10, 2006 03:13 AM              

By Coleen Smith, Staff Reporter

President Bush made several embarrassing gaffes in his recent visits to India and Pakistan. Once he referred to Pakistanis as Arabs, saying "I believe that a prosperous, democratic Pakistan will be a steadfast partner for America, a peaceful neighbor for India and a force for freedom and moderation in the Arab world." The White House later said that he meant Muslim. I spoke to Jeffery Mathers, a White House aide who said, "You need to cut The President some slack. We only recently got him to say Arab correctly instead of pronouncing it 'Ay-rab'. He still hasn't grasped that all the people who pray to Allah and accept Muhammad as his prophet are Muslims, but not all Muslims are Arabs. We are confident that he will learn the difference soon. It wasn't quite as bad as what he did in India." Mathers explained that Bush held up his arm saying "How, Kemosabe!", greeting Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. Bush said that he had learned that traditional Indian greeting by watching The Lone Ranger. Mathers told me "The President hasn't gotten out of his regular social circle very often. Prime Minister Singh understands that. It is just like over there when the higher castes don't hang around with the untouchables. Who can blame him for being a little confused, asking why no one was wearing feathered headdresses and so many looked like Hare Krishnas at the airport."

Bush was there in the hopes of reaching a nuclear accord with New Delhi, a hard sell considering that India has not signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. "America and India have become good friends," Bush said. "Where would our computer companies be without India? But we can be better friends if we can all agree about what to do with the nuculer stuff."

On his visit to Pakistan, calling them Arabs was not his only gaffe. He joined a cricket match with Pakistani youths, and said: "I've seen this game on TV. It is an English version of our baseball called beetle or grasshopper, some kind of bug name like that. Probably because the bats are so good for squishing bugs. It must be real easy with these big flat bats. The little round ones we use are harder to hit balls with." In spite of his claims that cricket must be easy, he didn't seem to take to it very well.

Bush briefly visited Afghanistan, but didn't seem to understand why he was there. A brief stop in Saudi Arabia was also part of his trip. Mathers said that The President wanted to personally assure "Bandar Bush", Prince Bandar bin Sultan bin Abdulaziz Al-Saud, that he really did not mean it when he announced his advanced energy initiative. It was just speechmaking, saying that the US would break its addiction to middle eastern oil and get serious about alternative energy sources like ethanol and hydrogen. "That was just some politicing, Bandar old buddy!" The President told him. "We have to tell people things like that. Some of the Congressmen and Senators in my party don't have paperless touch screen voting yet, and will have to fight hard to be re-elected. We will keep buying all the oil you have to sell as long as you have it. Don't worry. That's what friends are for."

posted August 10, 2006 03:20 AM              

For years Tonto was calling the Lone Ranger a shrub. lol

Some people shouldn't be let out in public and I think Bush is one of them.

posted August 10, 2006 03:26 AM              

Mirandee.....he IS that dumb!

posted August 10, 2006 03:53 AM              

This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.

As Luce reminded me, he said, without data, without facts, without information, the discussions about public education mean that a person is just another opinion. (September 9, 2003)

He can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.

For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it.

Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their, their love with women all across this country.

We look forward to analyzing and working with legislation that will make -- it would hope -- put a free press's mind at ease that you're not being denied information you shouldn't see.

There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me.

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information — outside the administration. (September 30, 2003)

I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're going to achieve those hurdles. [1/22/2003]

posted August 10, 2006 03:54 AM              

"He's not articulate."

posted August 10, 2006 03:44 PM            

The President was the former Governor of TEXAS- remember.. one of them Western States out here where we STILL have them there American Indians?

Apache, Comanche, Kiowa, Navajo (depending on the migration area) etc.. ALL LIVE or LIVED in Texas.

If HE did say that, he had to have been joking, but consider the source. A White house Aide would REALLY say that crap about the President?

Let's consider the communist source- uncoveror.com

Once again, only communistic leftest wacknuts actually believe this sh1t. Pathetic.

Ummm..yeah, and here's another featured article from Salome's favorite news site:

RUMSFELD AND WOLFOWITZ ARE VAMPIRES, W KETCHUP CONTAINS BLOOD.

By Naven Jones, freelance investigative journalist
For a long time, Many have called Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, and Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz monsters. I barely escaped with my life when I recently learned what kind of monsters they are: Vampires. It turns out that there are vampires all over the country who support the Bush Administration. They walk among us; and thanks to an insidiously disguised product, they can sit down at a table and eat with us without raising any suspicion.

You may have heard of, or seen W Ketchup, a product they claim was intended only to give republicans an alternative to Heinz Ketchup, a product they associate with John Kerry. There is something people don't know about it: It was never intended for human consumption, it is meant for vampires. W ketchup is nearly fifty percent blood.

I recently was granted an interview with Wolfowitz to discuss soldiers who lack body armor in Iraq. I got a great deal more than I bargained for. He insisted that I come to dinner with him, and that we would discuss it over a meal. I was taken to a darkened room deep in a sub-basement of the federal office building in Washington DC. Arrayed before us was an assortment of meats, all appearing to be cooked rare to medium rare. Nothing but meat, and a bottle of W Ketchup. He told me almost right away that he was a vampire, and asked that I call him "Count Wolfie."

"The only things nearly as good as sucking blood right out of the veins of my hapless victims, and feasting on their flesh is W Ketchup! Rummy likes it, too. He is also a vampire, you know." We just cannot eat the food of mortals without blood, and with this ketchup no one suspects a thing. Blah! Blah! It is almost as much fun as defiling innocent young virgins, whose blood is the purest, to eat W Ketchup right in front of unsuspecting mortals. It is also good to get them to eat it, as this brings them under our power! With our names, you might have thought that I was a werewolf, and Rummy was a mummy, but we are, in fact, vampires. Now that you know our secret, you must die!"

Count Wolfie then bared his fangs, his eyes turned red, and he lunged toward me, but he didn't get close. I had lunch at a pizzeria that day that had been just loaded with garlic. When he got a whiff of the aroma, he doubled over in pain, and that allowed me to escape with my life. Now that you know the horrible truth that many of President Bush's top advisors are vampires, and that W Ketchup was intended for them, not us, do not buy or use W Ketchup. Be afraid; be very afraid, if you see anyone who does. It is blood!
http://www.uncoveror.com

posted August 10, 2006 03:46 PM            

------------------
The democratic world believes that it is not the terrorists that are to blame, but us. Us, the westerners.
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the sooner you eliminate this misconception from your minds, the better.
We are NOT to blame. It is the freaking terrorists and the freaking terrorists only!!!! They are the bad guys. They do not understand concepts like peace, democracy, and respect for human life. They are, pure and simPle, EVIL!!!!! Behind all their political manipulations, if you carefully look at the actions of these MONSTERS, they are EVIL!!

http://www.mideastweb.org/log/archives/00000489.htm

posted August 10, 2006 04:39 PM              

it's called HUMOR....

something sorely lacking in this forum, by quite of a few of the regulars here.

posted August 10, 2006 05:53 PM              

btw, the article you posted was quite humorous as well.

wondering though, did you talk to someone who informed you that uncoveror.com was my favorite website?? curious, since i can't fathom where or when i might have related such a notion to you.

posted August 10, 2006 07:23 PM            

I believe I explained why I called BS. But once again, I don't expect you to have the capacity to understand.. YOU are one of those people that believes in NWO and all things lizard. Now, scurry along back to Rainblows club - the cauldren's a bubbling.

------------------
The democratic world believes that it is not the terrorists that are to blame, but us. Us, the westerners.
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the sooner you eliminate this misconception from your minds, the better.
We are NOT to blame. It is the freaking terrorists and the freaking terrorists only!!!! They are the bad guys. They do not understand concepts like peace, democracy, and respect for human life. They are, pure and simPle, EVIL!!!!! Behind all their political manipulations, if you carefully look at the actions of these MONSTERS, they are EVIL!!

http://www.mideastweb.org/log/archives/00000489.htm

posted August 10, 2006 08:19 PM              

WASHINGTON DC -- Oil conglomerate Halliburton announced today that due to corrosion it was forced to shutdown a large section of pipeline in president Bush's brain. The company began more thorough inspections of its pipes after the recent problems BP encountered with its Alaskan assets. President Bush, a wholly owned oil-powered subsidiary of Halliburton, is a key part of the American government. Experts fear the pipeline shutdown will further deteriorate the already struggling administration.

The corrosion was first discovered during Bush's annual health check-up last week, and today doctors confirmed that the problem was serious. "There is a significant leak, which is causing the president to make some unsound policy decisions," revealed his personal physician/mechanic Dr. Benjamin Orman. Blood flow has been reduced by 8% on account of the shutdown.

It is unclear how long repairs will take. The president was shipped to a Halliburton facility in Crawford, Texas, where he will undergo the necessary repairs. The exact cause of the corrosion is still unknown, but experts speculate it may have been because of the large number of difficult issues Bush had to deal with recently. "Iraq, the Middle East conflict, stem cell research, clearing brush, massaging German prime minister Merkel - all these factors must have really strained the infrastructure inside his brain," claimed an anonymous White House official.

Meanwhile, former Halliburton executive Vice President Dick Cheney said he is ready to take over in case things take a turn for the worse with the president. But officials warn that Cheney's pipelines are also in danger of failing; "particularly in the upper-right chest area, where a normal person's heart would be," clarified Dr. Orman.

Brainpower futures shot up on news of the shutdown, with prices expected to pass $100 per ounce of grey matter. Global markets are already reeling from a lack of smart world leaders. The global IQ index had dropped 5% last week when Iran's president Ahmadinejad reiterated his claim that Israel shouldn't exist, and another 2% when Britain's Tony Blair announced he wouldn't be resigning for at least another year.

Republicans are anxious for Bush's pipelines to be fully repaired quickly, especially in light of the upcoming mid-term elections. But the Environmental Protection Agency cautions it's best to err on the side of safety. "We don't want these corroded pipes to cause another disastrous leak - like the 'Nixon Valdez' back in 72," commented scientist John Obvious. That incident resulted in the Watergate spill and the eventual decommissioning of the Nixon presidential unit.

Experts are pushing for the government to release some resources from the Strategic Intelligence Reserve, which contains a handful of politicians who can actually think rationally. But White House press secretary Tony Snow bluntly dismissed such an option as "unlikely". He is, however, in favor of renaming the reserve as the "Intelligence Reserve of Strategery."

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:Halliburton_Shuts_Down_Pipeline_in_Bush%27s_Brain

posted August 10, 2006 08:29 PM              

i posted a funny story from uncoveror.com in another thread the other day....i'll find it for you so you can enjoy that one too.

and here's the thread where i posted uncoveror.com as one of a number of spoof websites -- before i posted the initial article here.

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/006844.html

posted August 10, 2006 08:30 PM            

I thought it was a joke when I read it. I mean, if it was for real then Pres. Bush would be very, very stupid ... which he isn't. Right?

posted August 10, 2006 08:38 PM              

this one's funny too ~

salome
Knowflake
Posts: 1219
From:
Registered: Nov 2005
posted August 06, 2006 12:15 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CASTRO IS DEAD
CIA RUNS CUBA

Fidel Castro died in 1981, and was replaced by a look-alike CIA plant. The dictator ate tainted shellfish and died. CIA infiltrators wasted no time in covering this up, and installing an agent named Alexis Papagos to impersonate Castro, and run the country. This information comes to THE UNCOVEROR via Cuban national, Igor Davidovich Martinez.

Why, then, does the U.S. government maintain the embargo against Cuba? "The CIA is turning a great profit by selling contraband Cuban goods on the black market," says Martinez, "and they don't want to give that up." The CIA sees to it that the embargo stays.

What tipped Martinez off? Before 1981, the real Fidel Castro nearly always wore a military uniform. After that year, "Castro," really Alexis Papagos, appeared more often in civilian clothing.

This prompted Martinez, and several others to start digging. Of those who discovered this deception, only Martinez remains alive.

The plot almost failed. A few people in 1981 heard of Castro's death, and began a rumor that he had died of syphilis, but the CIA quickly made those people, some of them Americans, Disappear. They needed the world to think that Castro was still alive. They didn't want you to know, but thanks to THE UNCOVEROR, now you do.

http://www.uncoveror.com/castro.htm

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum16/HTML/002290-9.html

posted August 10, 2006 08:50 PM              

http://www.uncoveror.com/elian.htm

posted August 10, 2006 10:52 PM              

I was actually being gracious to the idiot here and giving him the benefit of the doubt regarding having said this. Thus the tongue in cheek remark. I took it more as one of those invented stories making fun of Bush.

If, as you say it was a joke, it was in very, very poor taste to make a joke like that to a foreign dignitary. It shows lack of common sense and lack of good judgment to do that. Though you claim that being from the southwest Bush knows the difference between an American Indian and one from India what makes you think someone from India should know what the hell Bush was referring to when he said that?

Incidently, most Native Americans would even be insulted at being addressed in that manner since it is derived from a misconception regarding Native Americans who never greeted each other with "How." That is a stereotype image of Native Americans from television and the movies of the past. It would come off as a derogatory remark. For that reason if Bush said this as a joke it was racist in it's nature as it portrays a sterotype image of Native Americans.

But living in the southwest and being part Native American yourself you should know that.

Incidently I am very familiar with the southwest. My mom was born and raised in Oklahoma, my grandmother, aunts and cousins lived there all their lives just outside of Cherokee territory in Wewoka. I have spent a lot time there throughout my life.

I KNOW that saying "How, Kemosabe" to anyone is a racial remark and offensive to Native Americans. How come you don't know that? How come Bush doesn't know that?

posted August 10, 2006 11:21 PM              

Rainbow was merely continuing with the fun here with the quotes she posted. The sad thing is that those quotes REALLY were said by Bush. People have made a fortune writing books of his quotes. He gives them the ammunition so why not?

posted August 10, 2006 11:32 PM              

quote:

---

Ummm.... Salome, you are such a funny little creature. What's the matter, did you get bored fixating on pictures?
I believe I explained why I called BS. But once again, I don't expect you to have the capacity to understand.. YOU are one of those people that believes in NWO and all things lizard. Now, scurry along back to Rainblows club - the cauldren's a bubbling.

---

Pidaua, you need to seek help. You definitely need to consult a therapist regarding that superiority complex of yours and your hostility towards anyone who disagrees with you. I think the two go hand in hand.

Both you and Jwhop need to get the sticks out of your butts and stop taking yourselves so damn seriously. God knows the rest of don't take anything you say seriously. Not when either of you can't speak without calling other people names. Any point you try to make is lost because you both begin your posts with insults.

posted August 10, 2006 11:39 PM              

quote:

---

Salome, you attempted to pass this trash off as a legitimate news story. There was no hint you intended it to be taken as a joke

---